CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Sunday, April 30, 2006

Celebrity WTF Volume 203

Angelina and Brad are prepared for every scenario as they await the birth of their baby but, they still don't know where the tot will be born. The couple are currently in Namibia, but Angelina who is 7 months pregnant admits the baby might not be born there.
She says, "We don't know where it's gonna happen or where it's gonna be. We've been smart about this and we're as prepared as (possible). Things will be as they will be... I'm ready for anything."

They'll be fine although with the new baby coming soon Brad and Angelina may want to consider hiring another nanny.
In fact I know someone who could use the work...



















Jennifer Lopez fell in love with husband Marc Anthony because he made her laugh uncontrollably. She explains, "The thing with me and Marc whenever the two of us got in a room together, neither one of us could stop laughing. He's one of the funniest people you'll ever meet."

In other words, he's ugly and sucks in bed but, she loves him.



















Desperate Housewives actress Eva Longoria has defended co-star Teri Hatcher against rumours she is battling an eating disorder. Eva is appalled by the media's constant criticism of Hatcher's figure and maintains her co-star is completely healthy.
She says, "She's definitely naturally thin. She's a dancer too, so she has that natural dancer's body."

Yes, because naturally thin people jog obsessively. Gee, I wonder why everyone thinks Teri is battling an eating disorder. If you ask me...it's winning.



















Keith Richards suffered a "mild concussion" and was taken to hospital as a precaution recently.
Media reports claim the Rolling Stones guitaris had hurt his head when he fell from a coconut tree. A spokesperson for the band said that they did not know how the injury happened.

I don't know what happened either but, I am pretty sure cocaine and a bottle of tequila were involved.














STAR Magazine reports that Heather Locklear is not pleased about her best friend Denise Richards seen making out everywhere with Heather's ex Richie Sambora. (Duh - why would she be pleased?) A source told the Magazine, "Heather went crazy and told Denise that she was a traitor who had betrayed their friendship." She reportedly even went so far as to ask if Richards and Sambora were having an affair, and Denise was too stunned to answer, prompting Locklear to proclaim, according to a source, "Well, I think you've answered the question. I never want to see you again. You no longer exist to me. It's like you've died."

Heather should hook up with Denise's ex Charlie Sheen. Word has it he wanted her dead too.













Meanwhile, Denise's soon to be ex - Charlie Sheen recently had his "Denise" tattoo removed from his wrist.

Just I am sure that Richie Sambora has removed the memory of Charlie's small penis from Denise's mind.














OUT AND ABOUT....
Colin Farrell on the next VANITY FAIR.



















Jennifer Lopez in a Chinese advertisement for LUX shampoo.



















Jessica Simpson seems a little crabby.



















Ashton Kutcher enjoys a baseball game with two of Demi's daughters Scout and Rumer.



















Charlize Theron at the same game...makes out with boyfriend Stuart Townsend.















What did Paris Hilton say when she stayed in the tanning bed for too long?
"That's hot"














At the Emmy's...an unidentified piece of plastic blocked the red carpet....oops, actually it turned out to be Lisa Rinna.



















Meredith, Star, Barbara, Joy and Elizabeth present at the Emmy's. Now that Star got a boob lift she wants everyone to see "The View"
Ew.












Queen of the Emmy's was Ellen. She really cleaned up!























For the first time ever...Pamela Anderson is wearing white and you cannot see her nipples. Did she get those suckers surgically removed? What happened to them?



















Mischa Barton and Cisco play with her new puppy at an eatery. How the heck is the dog allowed there and more importantly - where is the place so I can bring Chelsea?













Usually the fans are the one who are crazed... not in this case.



















Mariah Carey forgot her pants again.



















Kevin Federline smokes his 785th cigarette of the day.



















Britney's little sister Jamie Lynn at her prom. Please tell me her date is not an aspiring rap artist.

















Charlie Sheen at a show for his new children's clothing line. That just cracks me up. Who would buy clothes for their kids from him?















Kelly Osbourne and her new boyfriend MR. X load up on some groceries.

















Jennifer Garner on the set of ALIAS.























Who the hell had a PRISON BREAK party and didn't invite me? Here's Scofield.



















Spanish prisoner dude...I don't know his name. In fact usually when I watch this show I am in a trance due to Scofield's eyes.



















Teabag all cleaned up. Diana - get a napkin and wipe your chin.



















And more Scofield....I think I prefer him in his prison jumpsuit.



















And looks like British model Jordan's breasts are planning a break out of their own.....



















CUZ I SAID SO!!

Friday, April 28, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 202

"A source close to the family" has confirmed exclusively to Access Hollywood that Britney Spears is five months pregnant. Just 7 months ago, Britney brought Sean Preston into the world.

And judging by that high chair incident, holding him with no restraint as she speeds down the highway and never putting sun screen or a hat on the kid.....she can take him out of this world just as easily....


















Kevin Federline is giving props to Britney for his aspiring singing career. He revealed that without Britney, none of this would matter: "My wife loves what I do. She is so for everything that I'm doing right now. That's the biggest thing for me, too, because if she wasn't supportive of it, I'd probably give it up."

Especially since she's the one with all the money. Duh, how else does he think he could of gotten any slight chance of stardom? American Idol? Even Paula Abdul doesn't do enough crack to say Kevin's got talent.











Jessica Simpson is devastated by a recent tell-all interview that her ex, Nick Lachey, gave to a magazine about their relationship. In the interview, Nick said he still loved Jessica, felt "blindsided" and "sucker punched" by her decision to divorce and that she refused to try counseling. An close friend of Jessica claims, "She was devastated, heartbroken. She didn't think he would do that."

Since when can Jessica Simpson read?
Maybe she had help.













A British journalist who recently interviewed Mariah Carey claims the diva sipped her drinks through a straw and wouldn't even hold her beverages herself.
He said: "She put her head to one side for people to serve her a drink through a straw, like she was unable to use her hands."

In Mariah's defense - I suppose it is hard to do anything with those ridiculous mounds of saline she's got weighing her down. She looks uncomfortable even trying to wave to fans. Soon she'll have to hire someone to do that for her too!














Arch enemies Paris Hilton and Pink are set to come face to face at a music festival. Pink recently got on the wrong side of Paris after mocking the blonde socialite in her latest 'Stupid Girls' video. Organizers of music festival now fear there will be tension as the two meet on stage. According to organizers, the two stars will definitely cross paths on stage at some point.

Finally! A music show worth watching! My money's on Pink. Although Paris certainly can afford to break a nail, get some extensions ripped out of her head, chip a golden tooth or have a haute couture dress ripped....she simply won't want to.
I love Pink but, wouldn't want to piss her off.













Brad Pitt has reportedly demanded that co-star Catherine Zeta Jones be dumped from "Oceans Thirteen" line-up all because of her hubby Michael Douglas's comment about Angelina Jolie and her "third world orphans."
Michael Douglas has now explained that comment was taken out of context and has recanted the statement. For those of you who don't know, Michael had said, "I don't know about Brad Pitt," says Douglas, "leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina [Jolie]. I mean how long is that going to last?"

About as long as your poor wife's movie career. Idiot.













MAGAZINE SCANS
Jennifer Lopez graces the spanish version of PEOPLE Magazine's 50 most beautiful. She was voted the MOST beautiful in the spanish edition.


















Here's the cover of the American Version which names Angelina as the most beautiful.



















Advert for Brad Pitt's movie coming to a theatre near you..."The assassination of Jesse James"



















Jessica Simpson's new movie "Employee of the Month". Wow, look at her raised eyebrow. That is quite an acting range! Maybe she will win an Oscar afterall?














Angelina's interview on the TODAY show.



















Paris Hilton article about her snazzy new mansion.



















Oh God, I bet every room in Paris's house has a picture of her in it.



















Eva Longoria on the cover of a foreign edition of GLAMOUR.



















OUT AND ABOUT...
Mischa Barton seems to be watching where she steps. I suppose she doesn't want to crush her best friend Nicole Richie. Nicole's no where to be found. Easy Mistake Mischa....Nicole's such a twig these days, hard to tell where she is!



















Janice Dickinson humps the wall and the mirror. I predict Paula Abdul will be behaving like this by the end of this season on American Idol.

















Jenny McCarthy comes out with yet another book. Well, when you are a former playboy model who can't act and starting to age....you write a book. Well, get someone else to write it for you.



















Ex Victoria Secret supermodel and playmate Victoria Silvstedt really expects us to believe those are hers?
You can drive a MAC Truck through those suckers!!!!



















Avril Lavigne sends her love.



















Much to the dismay of men everywhere....Jessica Alba stops a wardrobe malfunction before it happens.



















Kylie Minogue smiles with her pixie cut.























Nicole Richie has some more liquids.



















Jennifer Love Hewitt cut her hair off! OMG....She looks like a soccer mom! Not that there is anything wrong with soccer moms....except she isn't one!!



















The cameras love Salma Hayek.












Jennifer Lopez and Marc Anthony at a baseball game. Either that or Ben Affleck's locked them up in a pen in his backyard.














Alicia Silverstone coming out of a yoga class.



















And then there were five...WOOHOO That hick idiot Kellie Pickler's gone! I bet she'll be posing for HUSTLER by the end of the year. If she's lucky.
My predictions for the next ones to be cast off?
Elliot
Paris
Taylor
Catherine (I don't like her but, America does)
And finally....my man Chris will be the next AMERICAN IDOL.....



















Latest thing Tom is jumping off of?
Fences
Next thing hopefully Tom will be jumping off of?
A building.




















CUZ I SAID SO!