CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, March 31, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 183

Matt LeBlanc and his wife have ended their nearly three-year marriage. The news comes just months after the couple's two-year-old daughter was said to be undergoing tests for a neurological disorder and just weeks after the show Joey, was put on hiatus for the second time this season. Matt filed the papers according to the National Enquirer
"The dissolution is amicable," an NBC spokesman said in a statement on behalf of LeBlanc and wife Melissa. "They remain devoted parents and friends."

Although I am normally saddened when couples breakup I gotta say....I am thrilled! Now Jennifer Aniston has a "Friend" to talk on and on and on to about her divorce. You know, the divorce she's handling so well - the one she's not bitter about?













More "Friends" news....
Matthew Perry and Kristin Davis are a couple, according to new reports.They were spotted kissing while dining at a restaurant recently, where they shared a ice-cream and looked like a couple in love. A fellow diner tells US magazine Life & Style: "He kept his arm around her the entire time and kissed her forehead at one point." Meanwhile, a friend of Sex and the City star Davis' says: "She's really fallen for Matthew."

Eating ice cream on a first date is not a good idea. It's like getting drunk. Ice cream makes you euphoric and happy and dreamy which is kind of how you feel when you are in love. They won't have the same chemistry on the second date if there is no ice cream. And it'll all go downhill after that. That is why everyone loves when they hear the ice cream truck coming. Those vehicles save relationships.









Gwyneth Paltrow was visibly annoyed at the stares and pointing when she had dinner with hubby Chris Martin recently. Witnesses were stunned when the pregnant actress downed a beer.
"People were looking and waving and she just tried to melt further into the corner," according to one witness, who said she ordered salad and what appeared to be sushi. The beer she drank was a Guiness.

First of all, I have never been pregnant. Not a big drinker either and the last thing I would be asking for on my death bed is a beer.....so not an expert on having a beer or being pregnant but, I do know that having a beer while you're pregnant is not a great idea. Maybe she 's not pregnant. Maybe she just has a big fat beer gut!!












Naomi Campbell has been charged with second-degree assault after cracking her housekeeper in the head with a phone during an argument in her Park Avenue apartment, police said. The supermodel was taken into custody shortly after. According to police, Naomi's housekeeper received four stitches to the head. In a statement, Naomi's spokesman said the supermodel wasn't responsible for any assault.
"We believe this is a case of retaliation, because Naomi had fired her housekeeper earlier this morning," said the statement from J.R. Johnson. "We are confident the courts will see it the same way."

Here is Naomi with the police. WTF??? Did they really need that many to come and arrest her? Let me guess....all they heard was "Supermodel wanted for violation, fighting with a maid."
They got a visual and sped over. While all the other criminals are still at large.













A life-size nude sculpture of Britney Spears giving is attracting lots of hate mail. It will be displayed in an exhibit in New York next month. The sculpture by artist Daniel Edwards, titled Monument to Pro-Life, is offending lots of people. "We've received hate mail. There's nothing we haven't got on this and it continues," gallery owner Lincoln Capla said. While pro-choice advocates have condemned the sculpture's anti-abortion message, the anti-abortion lobby has expressed some disquiet over the graphic nature of the work. It depicts Britney giving birth while she is kneeling on her hands and knees, with widened hips and a posterior view that reveals the crowning of the baby's head.
Requests for comment from Spears's publicist were not immediately answered today.

The sculpture offends me also!!! But, only because I know that in order for Britney to give birth she had to copulate with greasy, stinky Kevin. EW...Very very offensive!








Star Jones is denying tabloid reports that she "almost died" from uncontrolled bleeding after her recent breast-lift and implant surgery.
On Monday's installment of "The View," Jones insisted: "I did not almost die. I'm anemic. ... They gave me the blood, and literally I was fine right afterward."

Have you ever seen "The View?" - I can assure you if Star Jones is bleeding to death it isn't because of surgery. It would be more to do with 3 fed up co-hosts, a voodoo doll, safety pins and some burnt hair.








Wilmer Valderrama decided to blab to Howard Stern the other morning about all of his sexual conquests. He claimed he took Mandy Moore's virginity and slept with Jennifer Love Hewitt. Wilmer who is known as FEZ from That 70's show also used to date Lindsay Lohan.
He told Howard, "Taking Mandy Moore's virginity was good.Real good." He also rated Hewitt an "8" on a scale of "1 to 10" in bed and boasted about his physical endowment. After he said he would really like to score with Angelina Jolie.

No chance Fez. Angelina may adopt children from foreign countries but, she certainly doesn't sleep with them!!! And if I didn't already think this guy was scum as it is. Telling all of this to Howard Stern?













Kate Moss hit a photographer with her handbag as she left a friend's house yesterday. She spotted the lurking paparazzi and lashed out. Earlier in the day, Kate's on/off boyfriend Pete Doherty tried to attack a photographer with a golf umbrella. The troubled rocker apparently lost his temper when snappers spotted him driving around London in his swanky Jaguar. A source told Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "Pete completely lost it.He was swinging the umbrella on the car and screaming at the people inside, who looked absolutely terrified at the attack.It was really alarming behaviour he must have been really upset."

Gee, turns out they were perfect for each other after all. I always assumed they were high or wasted together. Maybe they were just drunk on love. I take it all back. (Cough , cough)













MAGAZINE SCANS
Mariah Carey in a COSMOPOLITAN from a country where I do not recognize the language. German perhaps?













Reese Witherspoon sizzles in some out take shots from INTERVIEW Magazine. Ryan...better get a baby sitter tonight!













Kevin Federline is featured in KING Magazine. Lord help us.











A scan of Rosie O'Donnell and her wife and kids. Contrary to popular belief these kid are all adopted. Rosie does not have a penis.










Scan of Braddy's new tattoo which apparently matches one of Angelina's many.













Rumor mill says Nick Lachey is dating Vanessa Manillo. YOU GO NICK!













Josh Harnett on a movie set.













All of the sudden Halle Berry looks like a plain Jane. Must be her gorgeous new model boyfriend Gabriel.













Jennifer Aniston meets up with Vince Vaughn for his birthday. The perfect gift would be for her to not talk about Brad for one day....but, then it would be ALL of our birthdays...wouldn't it?













Eva Mendes on the set of her new film which co-stars Joaquin Pheonix.













After filming, Eva is seen at Victoria's Secret. When you are this pretty and go shopping for underwear, people notice you. This is why I order by phone from the comfort of my home.













Mariah Carey on the set of her new video SAY SOMETHING . She buys a lot of lingerie too. Only she wears hers grocery shopping.













Nicole Richie is back with Adam and they were frolicking at the beach.













And Adam is so romantic playing the xylophone for Nicole. Oops sorry, that's actually her bony stomach.













Destiny's Child got a star on the Walk Of Fame. They are all smiling but, you know secretly they don't want to share it. They each want their own.













Sienna Miller and Hayden Christianson at karoake?










OK, that is it. Britney is definitely pregnant. ...or eating WAY too much sodium.













Angelina's bump is growing by the minute.














Paris and Stavros seem to be back together. There must be some fabulous party he wants to go to this weekend.













Kate Moss with her daughter Lily













And then there were nine.....The 9 finalists left on American Idol. If I'm being honest, they all sucked this week. They remind me of little children singing at a horrid birthday party or a bad musical or a cruise ship performance. Losing interest quickly.

Thursday, March 30, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 182

Mariah Carey is so impressed with the California wine that bears her name, she has invested in the vineyard that produces it. She tried the winery's Mariah Zinfandel after learning about its existence and now it's her favourite drink. Her rep tells American magazine In Touch, "Mariah enjoys this wine very much. She serves it often."

Mariah is so in love with herself she would love anything with her name on it. Looks like she loves wine. Her hand seems to be in the perma wine glass holding mode.










There's trouble in Brangelina paradise. Sources say they recently had a big fight and Angelina apparently scooped up Maddox and Zahara and stormed out of the apartment, taking four hours to calm down.
"Brad says it's like he can do nothing right these days," a source tells Star magazine. "They argue about everything, from his cigarette smoking to world politics to how much he loves her! And apparently Angelina has told him she's getting tired of his whining and possessiveness."

Gee...who could the "source" be? Hmm. I wonder.













Kevin Federline has a name for his first album. Due to be released in August, it will be called Playing With Fire. In a statement released through his publicist Kevin says, "The inspiration and meaning behind the title is self explanatory, (because) my album is sure to set the dance floors across the world on fire!"

Yeah but, only because all the D.J's will be putting a matchbox and some gasoline to his horrible cd!












Jessica Simpson is considering adopting a child, her publicist, Rob Shuter, has confirmed. "Nothing has been finalized yet," Shuter, who was asked when and how Simpson would adopt, told the Associated Press on Tuesday. He added, "It is true that she's exploring options."
Jessica also recently told TV's Extra: "I want to adopt, and I plan to adopt before I have my own kids. "

Oh please. Everyone knows how badly Nick wanted kids and she didn't. She is just trying to get a leg up on Nick. Jessica can't even remember where her dog Daisy is half the time....and she is going to adopt a child???














Katie Holmes is going to have her baby in total quiet in accordance with a bizarre Scientology tradition. To help her, her fiance Tom Cruise bought a hi-tech iPod and handpicked over 300 tracks to help Katie keep mum.
A source told Britain's The Sun newspaper: "Tom wants her to listen to music through her earphones so there's no noise in the delivery room."

Ooh, such songs as "Push It" by Salt N Pepa, "Shutup" by Black Eyed Peas and "Love Hurts" by Nazareth are a good start.










Pamela Anderson wants to meet with Canadian Prime Minister Stephen Harper. The Canadian actress is heading a petition against her homeland's seal slaughter and has written to Harper, cautioning him not to turn a deaf ear to the international outcry that is building against the seal kill. Pam will be in Canada this weekend to host the Juno Awards and plans on meeting Harper on Monday.

Don't forget to wear a tight top Pam. Stephen Harper will later be asked how the meeting with Pam went and he'll probably say, "Seals? What seals?"









Michael Douglas is enjoying watching his wife Catherine Zeta-Jones' career become more and more successful. He says, "I did a lot of pictures where I was in every single scene. My wife is doing it now for the first time and I'm smiling. She is an accomplished actress and she's a lot younger than I am. She's going to have her time in the spotlight."

This would be really endearing that Michael loves to watch his wife's career grow....only if he hadn't once said how he enjoyed watching her breasts grow while she was pregnant.











Michael Jackson is planning a massive image makeover. Michael discussed his comeback with DJ Whoo Kid when the pair met in the Gulf state of Bahrain, where Jackson has been living since he was acquitted of child molestation last year.
Whoo kid reveals, "I told him he needs to cut his hair, get some million-dollar earrings, get a million-dollar watch and take all them spaceship clothes off. Michael said, 'I have to change my whole outlook.' He said he was trying to work out."
Apparently Michael's new look will turn him into a muscular rapper with a shaved head.

What's another nip and tuck?
Always a good idea to let a suspected pediophile get a whole new identity. NOT.









MAGAZINE SCANS
OK! Magazine says Brangelina's rushing off to a secret baby hideaway? I thought the baby's hideaway was Angelina's womb? What do I know..











IN TOUCH says Jessica's adopting and Kevin Federline has a job. HA ha ha ha ha..now that's funny!










US WEEKLY says Jessica's got a new love. Who's got time to adopt? Ooh and Patrick Dempsey wants a second child. Where do I sign up?













LIFE & STYLE Claims Britney had to be rushed to the hospital after partying with Kevin......yeah, the psyche ward!











STAR Magazine says Nick and Jessica are back together.
I guess the adoption is off.














OUT AND ABOUT.....
Ashley Judd is pretty as ever in pigtails













Is that a hammer in Fergie's pocket or is she just happy to see us?













Britney hangs out with the "little" people....literally at Kevin's birthday party











Kevin smiles politely as his left thigh falls asleep












Tori Spelling looks like she got yet another set of implants













Well, when you have a face only your multi millionaire parents could love - you need other body parts to distract away from it.













Maddox and mummy out for a walk













Braddy's growing a biker moustache













Courtney Cox and hubby David Arquette. Rumor has it she's pregnant again!













Drew Barrymore and her beau Fabrizio out and about













Heather Locklear and her estranged hubby Richie Sambora reunite for appearance purposes only at their daughter's baseball game. No, Heather did not break his arm. He fell and broke it or something nuts













Brooke Shields is very very pregnant. And she can yell all she wants when she gives birth













If the Apple doesn't fall far from the tree.....where is Gwyneth??













Julia Roberts signs autographs at the premiere of the Broadway play she stars in














Nicole Richie reminds me of that SKIPPER barbie they used to have that was completely flat chested until you pulled her arm back and she sprouted breasts. Anyone remember that?













Nicole and Keith are dressing alike now. Yikes.













The real MR AND MRS Smith













Ryan Seacrest and Teri Hatcher are dating. That proves it...he's not gay













He just happens to like women who have the body of a nine year old boy.....hmmmm













Nick Lachey is looking like Kevin Federline these days....not good he's only going to attract trailer park girls if he keeps this up











CUZ I SAID SO!!