Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, May 24, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 216

Paris Hilton was amazed after she collected $200,000 just for showing up at a charity event in Cannes on Saturday. FoxNews reports she was paid $1 million for a similar event in Vienna a few weeks ago. What does she have to do for the money? "All I had to do was wave, like this," she said, imitating Queen Elizabeth II's stately palm swivel.

I'd pay Paris a million bucks to wave........ Just as long as she was waving GOODBYE.

Brad Pitt sent an e-mail to the Cannes Film Festival on Tuesday saying he was unable to attend because of the "imminent arrival" of his new baby.

No need to explain Brad, we can all see Angelina is due any minute. Unless ofcourse she isn't really pregnant...maybe it's all a sham. It could all be part of her and Brad's master plan to smuggle as many African orphans out of the country as possible. The ones that don't fit in their private plane can hide under Angelina's blouse.
Bloody brilliant.

Jennifer Aniston and Vince Vaughn arrived separately at the premiere of their new movie "The Break Up". They also completely avoided each other the entire night and remained on different sides of the room. Apparently, all is well, they just wanted the premiere to be about the movie and not about them as a couple.

So does this mean they finally admit it? Typical Hollywood. When people are seen kissing and canoodling together they deny a relationship - and usually by the time they admit it, they are already dating someone else....

Geri Halliwell has given her baby girl a name that makes Gwyneth's kids Moses and Apple seem main stream....ready? She named the kid Bluebell Madonna Halliwell.
Geri told Hello! magazine, "I was going to name her Scarlet but, as I walked round the park in the last few weeks of pregnancy, I seemed to see bluebells everywhere. And what really clinched it for me was my mother telling me that the bluebell is increasingly rare - it's a precious flower, which seems just right for my daughter."

Whew, it's a good thing for the baby's sake that her mother noticed the flowers before she saw the drunken homeless guy named Stinky at the park!

Kicking off her Confessions world tour in Los Angeles, Madonna proved that she's still capable of shocking over 20 years on.Her show includes a spot of erotic pole dancing, dancers in fetish gear, roller-skate girls, an Abba tribute and a giant silver mirrored cross which she ties herself to whilst a video of Africa's Aids epidemic rolls on a giant screen behind.

This is typical Madonna. Nothing new. However, I think it would be SHOCKING if Madonna was reported to be home in curlers, watching soap operas and eating bon bons on the couch.

Heather Mills is "worn down" by her pending split from hubby Paul McCartney and is cancelling charity commitments so she can rest. She pulled out of a vegetarian fund raiser at the last minute recently. Friend and colleague Juliet Gellatley says, "She is too ill. We heard from her today. She just doesn't feel very well. She feels so worn down."

Heather needs to rest up cuz when she gets half of Paul's fortune she's gonna shop til she drops.

Jessica Simpson ordered her bodyguards to close off a public toilet because she wanted to do her business in private. According to America's New York Post newspaper, Jessica left female diners at Mr Chow's restaurant in Beverly Hills fuming after she took control of the ladies room.

I could clear a woman's washroom without body guards having to do it for me. Bran buds are a wonderful thing.

Lindsay Lohan made the top five in Maxim magazine's recent Hot 100 poll. Although she finished behind "Desperate Housewives" star Eva Longoria and Jessica Alba, Lohan was reportedly elated to have beaten out Angelina Jolie, who came in fourth place. A friend of Lindsay told More magazine, "It shouldn't but the whole thing has gone to her head. She was raving how she's now officially sexier than Angelina Jolie!"

Stupid Lindsay didn't realize that this particular Maxim top 100 was more about celebrity status than being sexy. And even if it was about being sexy......I wouldn't be so cocky if I were her. Who are maxim readers anyhow? Probably a bunch of hairy slobs to ugly or lazy to ever get a real woman so they settle for the plastic one stashed in the back of their closet. The take her out to "play" when their MOTHER goes to sleep.

California lawmakers are set to introduce a bill requiring parents to face their infants' car seats towards the back of the vehicle if they are under one year old. It will be called Britney's law after none other than Ms. Spears. Brit's representatives insist that she did nothing wrong.

What about a law that requires Britney to have her legs wired shut???

Interesting caricatures I found on the internet of stars.
Mariah, Angelina and Christina Applegate (I think?) Perhaps Scarlet Johanson?

I just thought of a new recipe looking at this picture of Victoria Beckham. Two melons on a stick. Should be a hit at a barbecue!

More Madonna on tour. Now she is trying to piss off the Catholic Church with that thorny crown. Obviously she didn't listen to her father when he said never to walk with a sharp object on her head.

Paula Abdul and her dog Thumble Lina

Eva Longoria gets in her car after working out.

Pamela Anderson gets carried away with her pal David LaChapelle

BLAST FROM THE PAST....You take the good, you take the bad, you take them both and there you have.........
from the FACTS OF LIFE. Blair looks like a soccer mom and Jo looks like a newscaster.

Carmen Electra promoting her latest product...ready for it? - The Thigh Styler.

Tori Spelling and her thigh styler....Dean McDermott.
Rumor has it she is preggers.

Nelly Furtado stops to give out an autograph.

Jennifer Aniston at the BREAK UP premiere.

Vince Vaughn also at the premiere.

Anna Kournikova without Enrique Iglesias. I guess he had her surgically removed from his lap finally!

Bruce Willis and Avril Lavigne at a premiere for their new film. Avril will be in two movies this year.

Mariah Carey's best attempt at being demure.

Ben Affleck, Jennifer Garner and Baby Violet out for breakfast. Aw.

Janet Jackson at a birthday party for a friend.

The battle is on.....GO TAYLOR GO....... Have I mentioned I hate Catherine?

Looks like Denise Richards and Richie Sambora are back together. Or I guess they could still be fighting and using their tongues only to communicate.

Gavin Rossdale who is married to the heavily pregnant Gwen Stefani gets out alone to play with his balls.



Blogger yllwdaisies said...

Yeah, who knows who that 3rd caricature is? It could be any blonde w/ collagen lips in Hollywood! Maybe even Nicollette Sheridan?


10:12 AM  
Blogger t я з s [ j u l i з ] said...

I hope you dont mind if I add your link to my blog?

7:08 PM  

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