Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, May 05, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F'S Volume 206

Nicole Richie spilled what's left of her guts to Vanity Fair recently. She told the magazine in its June issue, on newsstands Tuesday. "I eat the worst foods - salty cheese-and-grease kind of stuff. I get really stressed out, and I do lose my appetite, but I do force myself to eat. I tried to put the weight on my way, eating burritos, but that wasn't working, so I started seeing a nutritionist and a doctor. I'm not happy with the way I look right now."

Maybe cutting out the cocaine to just 45 times a day might help? But, I 'm not a doctor so wtf would I know?

Denise Richards, who is seeking a divorce from Charlie Sheen, says she is no longer friends with Heather Locklear, in the next issue of People magazine. Photos of Denise kissing Heather's estranged husband, Richie Sambora, recently appeared in celebrity magazines.
Denise said, "I wish Heather well, unfortunately, our friendship had to dissolve and I'm sad about that. The last thing I would want to do is create a media frenzy like this, especially as I'm trying to get through a divorce."

Yes, but, who's divorce exactly?

Tom and Katie Holmes have signed a $40 million pre-nuptial agreement. The couple, who just had a baby daughter, spent weeks thrashing out the details of the financial agreement, which determines who gets which assets if they ever split. A $14.7 million trust has been set up for Katie and her baby regardless of whether the couple wed. But, if they do marry and later divorce, Katie will receive an extra $26 million from Cruise.

Money has never been important to me but, $14 million might just be the incentive I would need to put up with a whackjob idiot and even bear his child. (Notice how I would never stick around long enough to collect for the extra $26 million? )

If in the next few months you see Anna Nicole Smith gain a few pounds and you wonder if TRIMSPA is losing it's touch....Anna will have a reason. She's pregnant. She is said to have conceived the child with the help of a friend.

Which friend? The drunk guy she met in a bar who mistook her Pamela Anderson and thus, the reason he slept with her???
I think a baby may be a good thing for Anna Nicole. Finally! Someone who may find her incoherent babbling amusing. Besides, the kid will NEVER go hungry...

On yesterday's Oprah Winfrey Show, Teri Hatcher of Desperate Housewives opened up about her short-lived romance with Ryan Seacrest and the infamous shots of them kissing on the beach. According to Hatcher, the American Idol host dumped her an hour after the photos were taken and she never heard from him again except when he called to say, "I don't think I can do this with you."

It's so obvious...Teri served her brief purpose which got Ryan some "straight" press. That should be a muffle on the gay rumors for a while. That is ofcourse until he's caught with his pants down at a bathhouse somewhere.

Angelina Jolie got the urge for peanut butter-filled chocs Reese's Pieces. But the treats were not to be found in Namibia, Africa. That didn't stop Angelina from satisfying her craving. A hotel source said, "The cry went out, but none of the sweets could be found. Angelina was so determined she ordered a huge box straight from the factory in Pennsylvania."

What? You mean my mother was right? She used to always say, "Eat your dinner! Kids in Africa are starving! They have nothing to eat and you don't know how good you have it!"
And all this time I just thought it was a ploy to get me to finish my rice. Sorry mom. I will appreciate every morsel of the next bag I demolish of Reese's Pieces. I promise.

Shakira is racing against time to learn the rules of soccer ahead of her performance at this year's World Cup in Germany.The singer has been asked to perform her new hit My Hips Don'T Lie before the championship final. She says, "I have no idea what a penalty is, but I'm going to learn because I understand the feelings soccer generates.

Ok, Shakira, if you are reading this, I will explain soccer to you. There are only three things you need to know to help you understand the "feeling" soccer generates.
#1 - Watch their legs closely when they run and you'll be able to see their thigh and hamstring muscles bulging. Make sure you have some cold water and a dishcloth nearby to cool you down.

#2 - Sometimes when they score a great goal, they take their shirts off and run around. Sometimes they get a penalty for this but, we forgive them because they are half naked.

#3 - This is the only time (Except for some other sports) that you will see heterosexual men grope, kiss, hug, slap asses and hump each other - all in the name of a black and white ball.
So enjoy it while you can.

Britney Spears has hired a new babysitter — for her husband. According to In Touch Weekly, a source divulged, “The last thing Britney wants to do is accompany Kevin on all his club dates. That’s why she hired a babysitter, a person who will keep Kevin from misbehaving and report directly back to her.”"

This is long overdue! Kevin has probably fallen and hit his head a thousand times by now. Boy, that would explain A LOT.


STAR MAGAZINE -Focus's on the Denise/Charlie/Heather/Richie saga.

OK! MAGAZINE - Poor Jennifer Aniston is still devastated by the Brangelina fetus. (Yawn)

US WEEKLY has Denise Richards side of the Denise/Charlie/Heather/Richie saga. Also Britney is pregnant and unhappy. (Gee, wonder why?)

IN TOUCH WEEKLY - Heather's side of the Denise/Charlie/Heather/Richie saga. (Notice how nobody wants Charlie Sheen's opinion)

LIFE & STYLE WEEKLY - All the Hollywood brides to be are happy. Ofcourse they are.....they aren't married yet.

W Magazine features Madonna this month on the cover.

Madge is also inside in a variety of provocative poses. No surprise there.

Nicole Richie in the Vanity Fair issue.

For someone who doesn't like how they look.....this is odd. Here she is kissing herself in the mirror while her bum is stuck out to Timbuck Two.

The album cover for Mariah's latest single. Wow, no cleavage??? Maybe she got yet another boob job and still has to wait for the bandages to come off.

A very romantic photo shoot of Heidi Klum and hubby Seal.

More Seal and Heidi. I love this picture!

A new PEPSI commercial with Eva Longoria. She probably thinks she got the gig because she is a good actress.
Notice how the commercial involves her running around in the rain in a flimsy dress.

Teri Hatcher has a new book called BURNT TOAST. Here's the ad.

Here's Teri Hatcher and her ex co-star from Superman days Dean Cain at a party for her book BURNT TOAST.

Gorgeous Nelly Furtado at MTV studios.

Christina Aguilera on the set of her new music video. She reminds me of Betty from the Archie comics here.

The Hilton sisters arrive at a party.

Pamela Anderson at her kid's baseball game.

Jamie Foxx admires the foxy Jessica Alba at a MTV event.

Ashlee Simpson out and about.

Jay-Z and Beyonce at a basketball game. He looks like he is trying to explain a play to her and she looks like she is trying to see if she is on the tv monitor.

Reese Witherspoon with her kids.
I guess you could say these are Reese's Pieces....shhh..don't tell Angelina...she may eat them!

Four left! Paris got voted off American Idol last night.

Elle MacPherson getting in her car.

Gwen and Gavin out for yet another stroll.

Heather Locklear must of just seen all the latest tabloid magazines with her face on them.

Janet Jackson lost all that weight so fast? Maybe she's on the Nicole Richie Burrito diet.

Jessica Simpson at the grocery store with her best friend, confidante and hairdresser.

Jessica Biel walks her, I mean puppy.

Lindsay Lohan is even shocked that someone actually wants her autograph.
Poor thing...if she only knew they thought she was Hilary Duff....or it's a dirty old man who wants to look down her dress.



Blogger verniciousknids said...

Your Reese's Pieces comment made me LOL :D

9:29 AM  

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