Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, May 31, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 220

Lindsay Lohan has denied rumours that she's feuding with Jessica Simpson . Lindsay says she is actually one of Simpson's biggest supporters as she struggles through her divorce from Nick Lachey. Tabloids are reporting that Lindsay snapped when Jessica refused to thank her for sending a tray of drinks over to her table at a recent event. Lindsay told Interview magazine, "I did not go into this industry to be shown on the cover of some magazine fighting with Jessica Simpson, who I think is a sweet girl. They (tabloids) basically said I was verbally harassing this girl. I'm not that person."

One minute Lindsay's fighting with Paris Hilton, the next she's not fighting with Jessica Simpson. C'mon Lindsay, give peace a chance.

Brangelina have given a donation of $300, 000 to two state-run hospitals in Nambia where Angelina just gave birth to the couple’s baby daughter. A statement released from them reads, "We want to contribute to Nambia and the people who have been so gracious to us at this time."

Considering nobody ever heard of Nambia until now, I'd say these two have given this place a far larger gift than the money....

Paris Hilton has finally explained why the album has taken her so long, "I have always had a voice and always known I could sing, but I was too shy to let it come out. I think that is the hardest thing you can do, to sing in front of people. When I finally let go and did it, I realised it is what I am most talented at and what I love to do the most."

Yeah, too shy to sing - yet comfortable enough to make sex video tapes with every Tom, Dick and Harry she dates.

Ben Affleck spent his Memorial Day in the emergency room of a Boston-area hospital.
"Ben Affleck was treated for a migraine at Mt. Auburn Hospital in Cambridge, Mass., today," said Affleck's rep, Ken Sunshine, in a statement on Monday. "He was released this afternoon, and is recuperating at home."

I suppose he pulled out that J-Lo CD he had hidden in the back of his glove compartment for old times sake.

Halle Berry has broken her toe. The actress reportedly tripped in a French airport, when returning from the Cannes Film Festival, where she had been promoting her summer blockbuster X-MEN movie. She's had a run of bad luck lately - she was also recently struck down by a food allergy, which caused her to break out in spots, after she enjoyed a feast of exotic shrimp.
She was quoted in Britain's Daily Star newspaper as saying: "The funny thing was I went out and I wanted to shake as many hands as I could. And all of a sudden my head feels like it's on fire and I notice some guys looking at me funny."

Oh, they were looking at your "spots" alright!!!!

Paul Gleason has died. He was best known for playing Principal Richard Vernon in the 80s cult classic "The Breakfast Club." He lost his fight against mesothelioma, a rare form of lung cancer, on Saturday. He was 67.

I wonder if he had to write an essay explaining why he wanted to go to heaven.

Paris Hilton seems to have buried the hatchet with former best friend Nicole Richie. It seems Paris has now had a change of heart towards her one-time pal, and has wished Nicole, who recently confessed to suffering from an eating disorder, all the happiness in the future.
She said: "I hope that Nicole is happy and healthy and having a good life."

Nicole Richie could not be reached for comment so I will improvise.

Christina Aguilera is not going to pose topless for a magazine even though according to reports, she has been offered a lucrative amount to bare her boobs for a photo shoot in order to prove she has not had a breast enlargement. However, Christina's husband, Jordan has stopped her from going through with her plans because he doesn't want the world to see her assets.
A source said: "Christina was thinking of doing something radical to end all the speculation but Jordan was horrified when she mentioned she wanted to pose topless."

Apparently Jordan hasn't seen her latest magazine spread. If this isn't posing topless then what is? One wrong move and there are nipples everywhere.

Nelly Furtado has confirmed rumours she has split from long-term lover Jasper Gahunia. The two have a 20 month old daughter together. Despite her single status, Furtado insists she is too busy to look for love. She explains, "I've no time to be a man-eater. My loves are my daughter and my album right now."

That's weird, it was only a few days ago where she kept insisting she is now very sexual and wants her fans to know it. Make up your mind!

Mariah Carey will reportedly insure her legs for a billion dollars on the night of her first tour in three years in America. Mariah, who recently signed on to star in Gillette's "Legs of a Goddess" campaign, wants to ensure the best possible treatment if she hurts herself while on tour.
A source close to the star told Britain's Mirror newspaper "The sum reflects her popularity. She's about to start a US tour and she'll have to be careful."

Come to think of it, Mariah has great legs. Especially from the thighs down. The higher up her leg you go, they seem to make an ass of themselves.

Jennifer Garner and Ben Affleck at the hospital. She drove him there to get treatment for his bad migraine. (Story above)

Dita Von Teese came out of the cake at Hugh Hefner's 80th birthday party.

Fergie grabs her lovely lady lumps.

These pics are all over the internet. The one on the left is Nicole now. The one on the right was her a few months ago. Believe it or not the caption on these photos are "Nicole is gaining weight."
No wonder she has an eating disorder.

Pink and her hubby Carey Hart out and about.

Wentworth Miller checks his messages to see if I've called.

Courtney Cox hangs out with friends.

Where are child services when you need them? Now Jessica Simpson is holding her dog's head out the window. Did you know that thousands of dogs die every year because they get overly excited and jump out of a moving vehicle!!

Jessica's sister Ashlee and her little doggie. Not only does her nose look new but, what's with the fuller lips??

Perverted Fans at the ASIA MTV awards reach out for Pamela. Check out the guy who seems mesmerized by her breasts. Pamela however is an animal rights activist so she will forgive the PIGS.

Drew Barrymore and boyfriend Fabrizio share an lip appetizer before the main course.

Here's Mariah at her GILLETTE leg launch.

Jennifer Lopez out running errands.

Paris on the set of her new music video.

And seen later with the guy who was also in the video. She really does not waste any time....

AMERICAN IDOL winner Taylor Hicks and runner up Catharine McPhee at an event.

Prince Harry has an impressive rod.

Katie Holmes at a park.

Jude Law must be doing laundry and that's why he's jogging with his boxers on. Either that or he's running to his nanny's house.

Jen and Vince at a baseball game.

Heather Locklear really is dating David Spade! Here they are going for a stroll.

Gavin Rossdale and a case of champagne. He's either celebrating his and Gwen's new baby or he thought of a plan to get the kid to sleep through the night.

Britney Spears has got a firm grip on Sean these days.

He must be teething?

It's either a teething ring or a razor blade....who can tell?


Monday, May 29, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 219

Britney Spears has thrown hubby Kevin Federline out of her home. Sources say that Kevin, has spent three out of the last four nights with pals - while Britney has remained at home in Malibu.
Britney refuses to comment. A pal said, "Things have suddenly turned very sour. It looks bad."

Yeah, that'll teach Kevin. Let him spend even more time with his criminal friends. If Britney thinks kicking him out every so often is going to teach him a lesson she is wrong. He probably loves it cuz he doesn't have to take out the trash or feed the kid or change his underwear.

Gwen Stefani and her husband Gavin Rossdale, welcomed their first child together on Friday - a 7 1/2 lb. baby boy named Kingston James McGregor Rossdale. Both mother and child are doing well, said her rep in a statement.

This baby is going to handsome like his papa and stylish like his mama. Yup, he's gay already.

Angelina and Brad had a healthy baby girl. They have named her Shiloh (pronounced Shy-Lo) Nouvel Jolie-Pitt, a doctor at the hospital said there were no complications and the mother and daughter were doing well.
"She is a healthy baby," the doctor said, speaking on condition of anonymity because he was not authorized to release information.

I am so surprised they didn't name it Wazukolita. If means "Your ex wife is an annoying little..." In tribespeak.
Maddox and Zahara are going to be confused. Who the heck's the little white kid?

Peter Andre isn't happy with his wife, Katie Price...a.k.a British glamour model Jordan. He says he wants her to bulk up sinnce she went down from a size eight to a size four.
Peter told Now magazine: "I think she's too thin. I said to her, 'Look, you don't need to be that thin, you gotta start eating now. She's getting better now and eating more. She just needed to eat more junk!"

Notice how he makes no mention of being concerned that his wife's ridiculously large implants could possibly leak toxins throughout her fragile body.....

Nicole Richie's frightening weight loss was caused by an addiction to diet pills. A close friend of the star,Crystal, has revealed that Nicole is hooked on Hoodia - a South African herb that fools the brain into thinking you are constantly full. She told Britain's More magazine that Nicole once told her: "Hoodia makes you look hot in low-cut tops and backless dresses. It is good for me."

Apparently hoodia also makes your head look preposterously large in relation to the rest of your body too. Hmm, she's right, that is hot!

The Pussycat Dolls were going to be marketed in the form of Barbie dolls until worried parents said absolutely not.Toy manufacturers Hasbro's plans to make plastic miniatures of the six-girl group were objected to by parents groups. One concered mother said: "Everyone I spoke to was shocked that this would even be considered. It could be an appropriate adult entertainment product, but definitely not for kids."

Remember when little girls everywhere loved the Spice Girls? They were a bunch of skanks too. Mind least they could sing.

Nelly Furtado revealed that she wanted her new album 'Loose' to be dirtier and sexier than her previous records. She told Britain's Arena magazine: "This album is really sexually assertive. I'm admitting to all my fans that I am a woman and I love to have sex.'

Is this the same girl who swore up and down she would NEVER use sex to sell her image?? My how things change. She went from "I'm like a bird" to "I'm like a slut"!!

Paris Hilton is set to strip in her new movie. She has a role in 'National Lampoon's Pledge' and has promised fans they can expect to see her showing off her sexy body in several racy scenes.
She told Britain's Top Of The Pops magazine: "It's a very sexy movie. It's all, like, hot sorority girls at college and everybody's beautiful. They are lots of sexy scenes with me.'

I'm confused? I thought she said everybody in the movie was beautiful????

Jessica Simpson on the cover of MARIE CLAIRE.

Jessica again but, this time as a redhead. (That's a wig)

Jennifer Aniston on Letterman. Again, she refused to comment on whether she is dating Vince Vaughn or not. She looks like she forgot her pants.

Woah, that baby Violet must weigh a ton. Jennifer Garner seems to be struggling.

Elizabeth Hurley looking fabulous out and about.

Halle Berry promoting her new X-MEN movie.

Denise Richards and Richie Sambora vacationing in Italy. They already look bored of each other.

Courtney Love looking all church-like.

Britney in curlers out with Sean. She's using two hands to hold him now. Good girl.

I know that Jillian Barberie is an animal activist but, this is ridiculous!

Lindsay Lohan at a tanning salon. If anyone needs's her!

Naomi Campbell out and about.

Christina Aguilera looking beautiful ven though she also looks like she just crawled out of bed. B$#ch!!

Wentworth Miller at the airport. I have a feeling he's going to be subjected to a strip search.

Sandra Bullock and hubby Jesse hang out together.

Pamela Anderson hosts a fundraiser for AIDS.

Jessica Simpson and her UGG-ly boots.

Paris Hilton on set of her new music video.

Nicole Richie cheats on her diet and splurges with an ice treat. Ice has all that nutritional value.

Penelope Cruz seems to be adjusting her button???

BLAST FROM THE PAST....Hey, it's SCARY SPICE otherwise known as Melanie B. If you are wondering why she suddenly has boobs that's cuz she bought them.

When Kate Moss's ironic how a girl who gets photographed for a living freaks when she's being photographed....trying to live.