Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, April 21, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 198

Carmen Electra insists she is not a sex addict. Carmen, who is married to rocker Dave Navarro, has disappointed her legions of male fans by claiming she isn't obsessed by wild bedroom antics and most of the time just wants to do "normal" stuff.
She said: "It's not true that we are crazy sex addicts. I'm not saying I don't like sex, but we do like normal stuff too. I think people believe I live in lingerie and high heels."

Our apologies Carmen. We have NO idea how you got that image.

Angelina Jolie's former lesbian lover Jenny Shimizu insists Jolie's romance with Pitt won't last for long because she will soon crave the love of a woman. She explains, "I was her first and although she's having a baby with Brad I doubt I'll be the last. She loves women too much. It's like a drug and she was hooked. It's her mouth that made me beg for more - kissing me passionately with those full lips over every inch of my body. It's unbelievable what she can do."

Brad is so pretty he may as well be a woman. If Angelina is turning to women - then the line up of women who would be willing could circle the earth 7 times. And that's just the straight women.

More on Angelina. She is buying her own country to help impoverished Africans. To be exact, she is buying Richard Branson's man-made version of Ethiopia, located in Dubai. The British business tycoon is having 300 country-shaped luxury island developments built, to form a map of the world. And the entrepreneur is selling parts of the 'world' to anyone rich enough to afford them.
A source said: "Angelina has been obsessed with Ethiopia ever since she adopted her second child Zahara from there. Her friends are very jealous of her purchase."

She can afford to buy a country??? Ok, the line up of straight women just DOUBLED.

Brad Pitt has been voted one of the world's unsexiest men. He was number 100 named on a list of the 100 Unsexiest Men in the World. Apparently he made the shameful list because of bad hygiene rumours.

Brings a whole new meaning to "Smelly Pitt" Don't it?
Hey, he could be ugly and smelly right? He's just smelly. So what? A little fabreeze and I could make this work.

According to the ever reliable National Enquirer, Britney is scared that 3 of her former bodyguards are planning to expose dirt about her including details of her drug past, her sex life, and her marriage to Kevin Federline.An insider claims: "She sleeps in till 2pm and she's a messy housekeeper who lets her three dogs pop all over the house. She exploded in rage after finding a drug dealer in the house with Kevin"

Britney's a slob and her husband has a drug this supposed to be news???

Tom Cruise praised fiancée Katie Holmes for giving birth in silence like a true Scientologist. He told sources he had been “jumping on couches” since Katie gave birth to their child. Speaking publicly for the first time since the birth, Tom said: “It’s a girl! It’s a girl! Her name is Suri and she’s gorgeous. Kate was, and is, an absolute champ.” Cruise stroked Katie’s face and held her hand during the birth to help her stay silent in accordance with the religion’s guidelines.

I think it is only fair that Tom have a colonoscopy with no anaesthetic and not make a sound. Katie will be there to stroke his face and hold his hand. Let's see what a champ he would be??? I say this not because the colonoscopy will be painful but, because I think he would rather enjoy it and find it hard to - er, contain himself.

Denise Richards has come clean with shocking revelations about her estranged marriage to Charlie Sheen. She wants a restraining order against him for her and their two daughters, alleging her ex has been "abusive and threatening." In the documents filed in Los Angeles Superior Court, Richards also claims that Sheen pushed her, shoved her and threatened to kill her. Richards also claims in her declaration that Sheen made threats against her parents.

I won't go into all the details but, apparently he said some really horrible things to her. I don't want to repeat all of them because they are nasty but, let's just say the nicest one was, "I hope you get breast cancer and die."
It's all over the internet if you need the gory details. Turns out things in the marriage were far worse than any of us could of imagined.

Julianne Moore admits she's so worried about staying slender in Hollywood she lives on diet foods and says all actresses do the same. She recently revealed, "If you want to know the truth about actresses, it's that we're hungry all the time. We live on granola bars and yogurt. If you talk to any actress, they'll say, 'Yeah, I didn't have dinner last night because I had a photo shoot today'. And that's not extreme. There are some crazy dieters out there."

Well in all fairness if I knew I was going to be in a photoshoot with no clothes on, I'd skip dinner too. In fact that should be some kind of diet cuz it would work. The PLAYBOY diet. They give you a month to prepare to have a staple put through your belly button in all your glory. That is the ONLY way I could pass up an extra helping of yams.

Someone is going to get whacked when Tony sees his only daughter Meadow(Jamie-Lynn Sigler) in Maxim Magazine this month.

Donald Trump, wife Melania and their son Barron (He's the little guy under his mommy's mammoth breast feeding machines ) in PEOPLE Magazine.

More Melania with the baby's golden buggy. This baby's PRAYING he inherits mommy's hair.

Jessica Simpson on the cover of COSMO girl.

Christina Aguilera in a PEPSI promo. She should be selling toothpaste. Just look at her fabulous teeth!

Mariah Carey is another new face of PEPSI although I suspect nobody will be looking at her face.

Leonardo Di Capprio sure moved on from his break up with Gisele Bunchen. And just how does one get over a Brazillian supermodel???
Apparently by getting under an Israeli one.

Whoever said redheads should never wear red has obviously never seen Marcia Cross in a scarlet dress.

Lisa Rinna needs to get rid of those horrible looking huge fake things. And no, I ain't talking about her boobs (Although they are fake also - they do a great job of diverting attention away from her trout lips)

Britney comes out of hiding to go shopping. I hope she didn't leave Sean Preston unattended in his high chair.

If you look really closely or click on this photo to make it will see Tara Reid's breasts. Don't say I didn't warn you. I don't know much but, I do know that fake boobs shouldn't be sagging.

Paula Abdul holds herself up....oh sorry, she's just on the phone. Still...she's probably drunk again.

Nicole Richie plays with her buddy Mischa Barton's new accesssory...uh, I mean puppy.

Rachel Weisz is still pregnant. Tabloids said she had a baby but, nope, not yet as you can see.

Dave Navarro meets a friend for lunch.

Jennifer Aniston doesn't want to be photographed. But, hey she'll tell you anything personal you wanna know.

Cameron Diaz covers her face. Thankfully, Justin doesn't.

Dita Von Teese promotes her new book. I didn't recognize her with so many clothes on.

Kevin's performing at a nightclub. Thanks for the warning.

Paris Hilton looks like a hooker on Valentine's day.

Ashlee Simpson meeting sister Jessica at a restaurant.

Jessica must of misunderstood the meaning of "sit down" dinner. How else could you explain why she is dressed like a couch?

Will Smith and wife Jada are visiting Israel

Nicole Richie is going to be mistaken for a Q-tip any day now....

Mary Kate is going to get mistaken for a parking metre.

Kelly Osbourne has lost weight by simply "not eating bags of cookies"
If only I had the willpower... I think it's a sin to let a perfectly good cookie go to waste. Even though it only ends up on my waist.

More Jessica Simpson being hounded by paparrazzi as she goes to a natural food grocery store.

And the latest in internet humor. You know how Katie and Tom were nicknamed TOMKAT?? Now they are fondly referring to them as.....



Blogger hot lips said...

Who the hell is Rachel Weisz?

4:00 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

The chick from the MUMMY and THE CONSTANT GARDENER

She just won the best supporting actress oscar for the CONSTANT GARDENER.

6:48 PM  

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