Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Monday, April 17, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 194

In the May issue of Spin Magazine, Kevin Federline blames the papparazzi for his upcoming musical efforts. He explains, "I don't have a choice. It's not like I can go and do construction, start building houses in Malibu. They are forcing me to do this and I am glad they are. I am more than happy to do it."

Or the real truth....he's a lazy bastard who doesn't want to work. He can't sing. If he really wanted to make easy cash he should be making regular "donations" to the sperm bank. One thing we do know....his boys can swim.

Hugh Grant has a property buying addiction. He explains, "I have gone property mad. I keep buying places then deciding they are not very nice and then buying other places. I now own about 17 houses in London, all of them horrible and badly decorated."

Well at least with his addiction - even though it's very expensive - at least he's got something to show for it. This story is stupid but, I will use any excuse to post a picture of this fine speciman.

Jessica Alba claims she's just a boring tomboy and not the sultry sex siren she's often made out to be. She's also sick of her sexy image and wants more serious roles.
She said, "I'll leave the slutty girl to other people and I'll play the sweet, moral girlfriend who believes in love."

Yeah, good luck with that.

Joan Collins says she is appalled by graphic images in teen Magazines these days. She says kids today aren't as innocent as they used to be.
In her words, "I think that's a great pity. Children know too much. I never saw a naked man until I got married. No sex before marriage. "

That explains why she's been married five times. I guess those were the ones she wanted to see them naked.

Last month, it was rumored that Paris got a tummy tuck. The skinny heiress was reportedly spotted sneaking into the Modern Institute of Plastic Surgery in Hollywood. A source said, "Everybody knows her at the clinic. It's not her first visit.'
Paris denied the visit but, did admit that she was once desperate for a breast enlargement. She revealed, "Years ago, I asked my dad for a boob job and he said it would cheapen my image.'

Paris doesn't need anything artificial to cheapen her image she already does a fine job of doing that on her own. She may not have any breasts but, she manages to come across as one gigantic boob daily.

Jada Pinkett Smith credits her husband Will Smith for saving her from a life of drugs and promiscuous sex. She says when she met him she changed her ways. She explains, "Will saved my life. I was literally killing myself when we started dating ten years ago. I was doing drugs, drinking alcohol and sleeping around."

I'm confused. Isn't that what attracts them to us in the first place?

In the May issue of GQ magazine, Tom Crusise brags,"Sex is about the connection. "Great sex is a by-product, for me, of a great relationship, where you have communication and it's an extension of that. Where it's just free. And that's how it should be. It's spectacular. If you're not in good communication with your partner, it sucks. Meaningless sex outside of a relationship is really horrible and pathetic and lonely."

It's official. He's gay.

And Michael Douglas recently revealed how he spices up his love life with his much younger wife Catherine Zeta-Jones. He told Tonight Show host Jay Leno: "You close your eyes once in a while, put on a Richard Burton accent maybe - something from the home country - it gives a little variety, the spice of life."
In return, Douglas said he would like his wife to dress up in a nurse's outfit in the future.

I bet Catherine will be dressed in a nurse's outfit in the future. But, only because she will be conducting a bedside vigil for her grandaddy husband in his old age.

Mariah Carey has a new signature scent she will be promoting for Elizabeth Arden. She claims that up until now she never has worn perfume. She says, "It's gonna be the first fragrance I'm ever gonna wear because people are always, like, 'What perfume do you wear?' And I'm like, 'Nothing, it's probably my hairspray or me.' So now I'll have an actual perfume. "

So that's why she dresses so slutty. To distract people away from the stench.

Liv Tyler in Harper's Bazaar.

Kiefer Sutherland on the cover of the Rolling Stone.

Jennifer Love Hewitt in IN STYLE.

First glimpse of Gwyneth and baby Moses.

Pamela Anderson's huge.............
purse. What did you think I was going to say?

Katie Holmes stomach is huge. That is the biggest belly button I have ever seen. I think it looks so big because she doesn't always wear maternity clothes.

Kate Beckinsdale coming from a work out at the gym. Having a smoke. I used to do that too. Go work out like crazy and then have a smoke after. It's like eating a salad with veggies and fruit for dinner and then having an entire tub of icecream for dessert. It's all about balance right?

Braddy's got a new haircut! He and Maddox are matching now with their mohawks. Apparently Angelina cut it.

Here's another look at Braddox.

Angelina gives Zahara a big hug!! Aw.

Avril Lavigne looks great until she smiles. She needs to get her teeth filed down. I swear she sucks people's necks at night.

Nicole Richie on the set of the Simple Life.

Charlize Theron and boyfriend Stuart Townsend steal a kiss.

Mariah Carey arrives at the MTV studio for an appearance. Rumor has it she had liposuction on her stomach and that is how she "suddenly" dropped like 20lbs. She denies it and says her secret was that she worked out in her bikini. (Mind you she probably goes grocery shopping in her bikini too)

Luke Wilson stops to tie his shoe.

Lindsay Lohan could avoid all those pregnancy rumors if she used a condom properly as opposed to putting it on her head.

Pink adds a dash of fuschia to her locks. Love it!

Mary Kate has so many extensions.....we should call her Rupunzel.

More Katie Holmes. Shouldn't she be nesting right about now??? Unless shopping is another form of nesting.

Courtney Cox and her daughter Co-Co.

Jessica Simpson is the breast singer ever.

Meanwhile Ashlee Simpson seen leaving a plastic surgeon's office. Hmmm....

Fergie holds on to her boobs for dear life while performing with the Black Eyed Peas.

Jorge Garcia from LOST frolicks in the grass with his puppy.

Carmen Electra at the premiere of SCARY MOVIE 4.....Looking anything but, scary.



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