Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Thursday, April 06, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 187

Ashton Kutcher has denied that his new wife Demi Moore is with child. He said, "She's not pregnant. There was a rumour about a year ago, but it is not true. Everybody's adopting babies now, that's the new thing. I feel like just having one would be weird. It's unconventional to have a baby just now, you've got to adopt one from Cambodia or something."

He was obviously joking. These two have just got to have their own and pass these genes along..

Tom Cruise speaks of his abusive father in the next issue of Parade magazine. He revealed, "He was a bully and a coward. He was the kind of person where, if something goes wrong, they kick you. It was a great lesson in my life how he'd lull you in, make you feel safe and then, bang! For me, it was like, 'There's something wrong with this guy. Don't trust him. Be careful around him.'

I never understood what they meant by the "apple doesn't fall far from the tree" until this very moment. Tom's unborn child will be giving the same chilling interview twenty years from now.

David Spade and Heather Locklear were seen making out at a restaurant in Los Angeles last week, reports In Touch. "It was a friendship that turned into something more," a source told Us Weekly, adding that Spade's nerdy humor is helping her get over Richie Sambora.

David's last name is Spade and Heather used to dress like a hoe when she was married to Tommy Lee ages ago. Spade. Hoe. They will make a great pair of gardening tools. Hope one of them has a green thumb.

Rapper Eminem has filed for divorce for a second time from Kimberly Mathers, less than three months after the couple remarried. The high school sweethearts divorced in October 2001 after a two-year marriage and they were involved in a bitter custody fight over daughter Hailie, now 10. In January, Eminem and Kim got back together. They remarried in a January 14 ceremony.
"I can confirm the divorce papers have been filed," Eminem's publicist said. "Beyond that we have no comment."

They can't comment because the only thing Kim and Eminem would have to say about now is censored. Eminem will surely write a song about this.

'Desperate Housewives' star Nicollette Sheridan has put her old engagement ring up for auction on eBay. She wants to get rid of the platinum and diamond ring given to her by ex-fiance Nicklaas Soderblom. You may remember that Nicklaas who is bitter about the break up is going around telling everyone that Nicollette is boring in bed.

E-Bay estimates she'll get around $15,000 American for the ring. Turns out her ex is a liar. Nicole screwed him pretty good.

Britney Spears arranged for a dwarf-sized Cher look-a-like to perform a duet of 'I Got You Babe' with a Sonny Bono impersonator at Kevin's recent birthday party. According to reports, guests at the birthday bash drunkenly cheered as the two dwarves came out with the cake and some unidentified revellers even suggested a dwarf-throwing contest. Well, now Britney is in trouble. The leading dwarf rights group, the Billy Barty Foundation - named after the late miniature Hollywood veteran - who have branded her actions "wicked". A leading member of the Foundation said: "It is wicked to hurl abuse at anyone of diminished height simply because they are small."

Britney meant no harm. She likes the little people. After all, look who she married. He has little ambition, little compassion, little drive and a little.....well, we know it works cuz he's got the kids to prove it....but, I still think it's probably little. And smelly.

A Las Vegas business deal is causing a rift between George Clooney and longtime pal Brad Pitt. Reports say Brad first backed out of a plan to join George in building a posh Las Vegas casino only to turn around and set his sights on building a similar resort in Palm Springs.
A source says, "George is upset that Brad is going to go ahead with this after he thought they would be partners. The idea that Brad's going to build his own hotel without George's help is quite the eye-opener."

There's only one way to solve this problem. These two need to fight it out. In mud. Naked.

In Touch Magazine claims Brangelina is fighting. (What? You mean they are mere mortals???) Nick Lachey is dating the hot Vanessa Manillo. And Matt LeBlanc left his wife for a co-star. Who??? Ross??? Uck.

LIFE & STYLE Magazine says Angelina and Katie will be abandoned in the birthing room. This works out good for Katie I would think cuz now she can scream to her heart's content.

STAR Magazine is always so classy with their headlines. Like this one for example. Such eloquence.

US WEEKLY says Jen and Vince are ready for a baby. Yawn.

Mary Kate and Ashley as featured in STELLA Magazine.

Sienna Miller uses retail therapy to forget about her break up. Jude who?

Seal and Heidi know the secret to a happy, long lasting relationship. LOTS AND LOTS of Caffienne!!

Rebecca Romjin shows off her engagement ring to hubby to be no. 2 on a talk show. John Stamos, if you are reading this....turn away!
And call me.

Nicole Richie could fit an I.V machine in that purse. Now, there's an idea....

Drew Barrymore on the set of her new movie with her yummy co-star Hugh Grant.

Misha Barton shops for her doggie.

Courtney Love on a street corner. I know....I thought she was a hooker too.

Alicia Keys and her mom. Aw.

Now this is adorable...

Russell Crowe chasing after his active little two year old son Charlie. How friggin cute is this kid!!!???

Someone should really tell Eva Longoria not to make this face.

Jennifer Aniston is cold.
I told you so.

Holy crap It looks like Katie's water may have broken about 25 blocks back.....!

Sheryl Crow's ex Lance Armstrong sure got back up on the relationship bike pretty quickly. Don't know who she is but, she looks happy

Johnny Depp and his partner Vanessa Paradis at a movie event.

Mary Kate Ashley goes shopping with a body guard.

Jennifer Aniston was on Jay Leno Tues night. Wonder what she talked about. (as if we need to ask)

Paris is surrounded by men cause she likes to suck....on that lollipop she's holding. Really people what were you thinking? Such minds...

Paula Abdul was completely out of it again this week on American Idol.

Poor Randy, I bet she drooled all over him.

Yikes...they need to have a talk with her. They can film it and call it AMERICAN INTERVENTION.



Blogger Dawn said...

holy cow!! Katie's tummy is HUGE!! It looks unreal, doesn't it?

I know there was something else I wanted to comment on, but Katie's belly literally shocked all other thoughts out of my mind!

I hope, for her sake, that she has the baby today!

2:24 AM  
Blogger Dill said...

I like Drew Barrymore. She seems so happy all the time and I don't care why. She is always smiling and I like her movies.. Especially 50 first dates.. she and Adam Sandler are great together... Can't wait to see how she does with Hugh... he can be attractive but sometimes not.... and what is with Katie's Stomach!! I've had three kids and seen countless pregnant woman and cannot believe her stomach... almost makes me believe that scientoligists may be right and we are a result of evil aliens being put into a space ship and torpedoed to earth to a volcano only to explode into millions of particles and we or rather Tom and his cronies are the result... Makes the Story of Jesus and his ressurection kind of tame.... I kid you not.....

11:38 AM  
Blogger Da Tew Catz said...

Aw drew & Hugh, how cute is that pic ! A beautiful photo of Alicia & her Ma !
Russell Crowe's son is sooo cute OMG FRAMETHAT !
**gets drool bib & big bucket** Johnny Depp ...nuff SAID ....

...oops sorry daydreams... hehehe !


5:09 PM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Hey guys - that pic of Katie is showing her with her blouse blowing up in the wind. That is NOT her stomach stretching out that far!


1:44 PM  
Blogger glor said...

pardon my ignorance...I know Star Jons first went through her weight loss and recent breast lift but how come no one has mentioned her face? why does her eyes look like they are about to slide off her face? she looks creepy...I liked her better before. yes, she was bigger and probably unhealthy but what has happened to her? maybe I missed the story about her face...

9:59 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Dawn....The Katie bulge mystery has been solved...see Nadia's comment below.

Dill - I too love Drew Barrymore. She is very down to earth and I like her movies. Nothing academy award winning but, they always end up making me smile. (EVER AFTER IS ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVES...have you seen it??)

Da two cats - Yup Johnny is a is Hugh!!

Nadia...ah, the voice of reason returns. Thanks for noticing the wind gust under Katie's shirt.

Gloria - I agree. Star Jones looks horrible. I think she was pretty when she had a big face now she is nasty.

11:41 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Gloria, you kill me! I too have been wondering what was wrong with Star's face, and thought I was the only one...thank you for the "sliding off her face" comment - it is exactly what I was thinking.

3:58 PM  

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