Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, March 17, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 175

The hit show DALLAS is coming to the big screen. So far John Travolta will be playing J.R. and Jennifer Lopez is rumored to be Sue Ellen. Luke Wilson is lined up for the role of Bobby Ewing, and there are whispers that Desperate Housewife Marcia Cross is in the running to play his wife Pamela. Shirley MacLaine will play Miss Ellie, with Bill Murray doing the 'Jock' Ewing role. According to the Daily Mirror, Lindsay Lohan and Jessica Simpson are rumoured to be battling for the part of teen Lucy Ewing.
Director Robert Luketic remarked that celebs are desperate to bag a bit of the Dallas action, saying: "There are people scratching each other's eyes out."

Like they need a reason to fight with each other in Hollywood. I actually would like to see this movie as I was a fan of the show. I can't see John Travolta being bad ass J.R. he's more of a Bobby. Sue Ellen had a small bum so not sure how the J-Lo casting will jive and as for Jessica or Lindsay playing Lucy? Jessica will get the role. Lucy was the blonde big boobed Ewing who never really had any lines cuz she couldn't act. The role was made for Jessica!

Madonna was forced to release an edited version of the video to her current single "Sorry" because the original was considered too rude to be broadcast. In the original version, Madonna makes an obscene gesture at viewers. An insider tells website The Scoop, "I guess it was too vulgar for general audiences."

Madonna performing in a rude provactive manner? No way! Never! Not our Madonna!

Dave Navarro tells American magazine Life + Style that he and Carmen Electra are having marriage problems. He admits, "The truth is our work takes us away from home quite a bit. She goes overseas and there are times when I'm away from her. It sucks, I will say that." Meanwhile, a source tells the publication, "Dave and Carmen are headed for a separation. They've been having issues for a while now. They're living separate lives."

They have issues alright. Seems Dave likes showing off his nipples even more than Carmen does.

Kate Moss was recently spotted buying a limited-edition vibrator in 24K gold. The supermodel was sighted making the purchase in New York. The sex toy sells for $350 and can be personalized with the phrases "Sugar," "Be Mine," "Sweetie" or "Flirt," according to Page Six.

No wonder Kate's always got that silly grin on her face as she puffs on a cigarette.

Jessica Simpson gave a press conference at Capitol Hill to support Operation Smile, a group that fixes facial deformities for underprivileged kids. When reporters repeatedly tried to ask personal questions to Jessica she merely said, "I am here to support Operation Smile. That is the purpose of my trip."

I am willing to bet a million bucks that Jessica thinks "Operation Smile" is a whitening toothpaste campaign.

Well, it's finally happened people. Britney Spears had to be rushed to hospital after stepping on a hypodermic needle. Britney who is still on holiday in Hawaii stepped out of her car without shoes on when the incident took place. Hospital tests showed the needle was unused.
A source is quoted in Britain's Daily Star newspaper as saying: "Britney is going to be fine. She's got a nasty cut but it's been disinfected and dressed and she's been released from hospital. It was more the shock of seeing the needle poking out of her foot. Britney was distraught but brave."

I have a few descriptive words for Britney and believe me....brave ain't one of them. Where was she? On her driveway probably! One of Kevin's needles perhaps? Britney should consider herself lucky she hasn't got some flesh eating disease by now. PUT YOUR DAMN SHOES ON! She gives new meaning to the term barefoot and pregnant. Seeing as she seems to always be both of them!

According to Britain's News of the World newspaper, Britney Spears changed her baby's diaper on top of the table at a busy diner. One patron said, "It was disgusting. Someone else has got to eat at that table. Yuck."
But then the manager noted, "It's Britney Spears. What can we do?"

Stupid manager. Kick her out! How unhygenic! Britney really needs to get one of these manuals asap. Oh, I forgot, babies don't come with a manual. You need a license to drive, pass a test to become a citizen. Do exams to get a degree and get police checks in order to work with children but there are no pre-requisites for being a parent. Sadly.

Who are we kidding? Britney's gonna need this version.

Rosario Dawson doesn't think she's got a great figure. She revealed: "I'm a little lopsided, which is totally fine." The 'Sin City' star is also paranoid she doesn't have enough womanly curves.
She told Esquire magazine: "I have no hips. I'm the hipless wonder."

Rosario is beautiful, has ample breasts, no hips and is dating that hunky Smith (Samantha's boytoy in the last season from Sex and The City)
What? Does she want pity? She's lucky women everywhere don't gang up and attack her.

Celebrity Living's issue is dedicated to Hollywood Toothpicks or as I call them - Lollipop heads.

Julianne Moore looking pretty for IN STYLE.

LIFE & STYLE is focusing on pregnant celebs who may be splitting up.

An ad for Britney's newest perfume called IN CONTROL.
Which is ironic because she is not in control and I am pretty sure she stinks.

STAR Magazine dishes out stupid stories as usual.

Oscar winner Rachel Weisz on the cover of the U.K's edition of VOGUE

Sharon Stone looks glamorous at the premiere of BASIC INSTINCT 2.

A great photo of Paula Abdul at an event. I love love love the colour of her hair!

Gorgeous Salma Hayek leaves a Hollywood restaurant.

Angela Bassett and her beautiful newly born twins.

Sarah Jessica Parker leaves the EARLY SHOW where she just did an interview for her new movie.

Kirsten Dunst is not having a bad hair day. Well, she is but, it's for her new movie where she plays Marie Antoinette.

Posted a pic of Madonna and her kids yesterday but, this one is better. They are fighting. Hee hee.

Halle Berry in a scene from XMEN 3.

Joaquin Phoenix grabs a smoke break.

So does Christina Ricci on the set of her movie PENELOPE. Reese Witherspoon co-stars.

Charlize Theron at an Independent Film press conference.

Paris Hilton on vacation - yet again. That girl works so hard. (Excuse me while I choke on my own tongue)

Someone tell the sevin dwarfs that their long lost sister, the eight dwarf - Droopy - has been found.
Otherwise known as Kimberly "Skank" Stewart



Blogger Da Tew Catz said...

Great updates once again Linda !!
A new Dallas?? I dunno I don't think it can be re done,but I could be wrong.
LMAOROTF at the Brinety parenting issues esp: the book for Dummies OMG i had to actually leave the comp to run POTTY ! Had me laughing so HARD !
Julieanne Moore .. such a wonderful & beautiful woman a class ACT !
Sharon & Paula stunning !!!!!!
ANgela Bassett.... can i say AHHHH for at least two days straight how sweet !!! Congrats !!!
ANd last but not least,like her undies, usually down by her ankels Kimberly "Skank" Stewart THAT is just brilliant ! heheh !!
cheers tc ((hugs))

2:30 AM  

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