CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 172

Sarah Jessica Parker has ruled out a 'Sex And the City' film.The actress, who played Carrie Bradshaw in the hitseries, insists she has no intention of reuniting with her co-stars - Kim Cattrall, Kristin Davis and Cynthia Nixon - for a movie based on the show. Sarah claims a big-screen adaptation would be impossible to shoot because the production team destroyed the old sets.

What sets? When these girls weren't at a bar they were in bed with whoever they picked up at the bar. How hard could it be to find a bar stool and a bed?










Sean Connery, the original 007 has undergone successful surgery to remove a kidney tumor. The operation took place several weeks ago in New York and Connery is recuperating at his home in the Bahamas. Britain's Sunday Times newspaper interviewed the actor who revealed in an interview that he had been "opened in five places," including--a torture even Bond never endured--"a tube up my d--k."

The tumour was benign. Sean is recovering and will be 100%. I guess you could say he was shaken but, not stirred.










Lindsay Lohan swears she doesn't have as much sex as the tabloids would have you believe. The actress said, "Sleeping around is not something that interests me, but the act of love is an amazing thing. It's groovy. You've gotta have some fun and let those emotions out."

Oh great. First she's gabbing about her sex life and now she's bought a new camera. I smell a "leaked" out celebrity sex tape coming.













Michael Douglas certainly has some opinions about celebrity romances. "I don't know about Brad Pitt," says Douglas, "leaving that beautiful woman [Jennifer Aniston] to go hold orphans for Angelina [Jolie]. I mean how long is that going to last?"

HELLO! Michael left his wife for the much younger Catherine Zeta-Jones and they have two children together. What's he trying to say? It was ok for him cuz his ex was ugly?? Can you say HYPOCRITE!











Rumor has it that Kimberly Stewart (Rod's daughter) went to a spa in Beverly Hills for a pedicure on the weekend. Only - when she off her shoes the pedicurist refused to service her. Apparently her feet stunk so bad that the pedicurist refused to do her toes . . . or anybody else's for the rest of the day.

She just looks stinky all over even when she's supposedly cleaned up. And for the record I would rather be a celebrity and have bad press about a rumored affair than bad press about having stinky feet.
People....tip your pedicurists!!!!!













Paris Hilton has broken her toe! She is suffering because her toe is swollen, yet her main complaint is that she is unable to wear her high heeled shoes! The swelling is so bad she can barely get her shoes on, let alone walk in them.
Paris says, "How am I going to wear my Jimmy Choo's?"

Paris broke her toe? HAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!













Britney Spears has had it with her husband's spending habits. Apparently he is now on a budget. According to a source, "Each month, he will be allotted a certain amount of money for personal use like clothing, nightclubs, booze and day-to-day activities. Any big items - cars, or trips that go over allowance need to be approved by Brit herself."

I found the problem! No condom allowance. Heck, get a condom dispenser put right in the bedroom....right by the bed, or the trailer, or the gas station...wherever these two procreate. (Yikes, just got a shiver up my back)









Jennifer Aniston doesn't want you to feel sorry for her. She recently told Vogue Magazine,
"Don't make me your victim. It makes my skin crawl."
Of her former husband's relationship with Angelina Jolie, which often has Aniston being mentioned in press reports: "I'm so tired of being part of this sick, twisted Bermuda Triangle."

I wish she was part of the REAL Bermuda Triangle!!! Isn't that the place where people go and just vanish into thin air....NEVER to return????










Pamela Anderson, who is an adamant PETA campaigner, was at a party thrown by Elton John recently when she was approached by a fan. The admirer was wearing a fur coat and was overheard telling Pammy she was her biggest fan, but the blonde actress abruptly interrupted her, saying: "But you're wearing fur!"
According to reports, the woman tried to get closer to the sexy star to explain herself, but Pammy stepped back, to get away from her unwanted admirer.As the woman stepped towards her again, Pammy let out a disgusted shriek and ran off.

Any fan of Pamela's would know two things about her. Well, besides those.
They would know she is an animal lover and would never ever condone anyone wearing a few coat! Stupid "FAN"!













Ozzy Osbourne has revealed he can't have sex with wife Sharon - even after having four Viagra tablets. According to The Sun he said: "I can't do it. I'm on anti-depressants. I take four Viagra and it doesn't work! It doesn't do anything! If I get off anti-depressants I go mad. When you first have a relationship, you're like rabbits. We've done it so many times, it's f***ing boring."

I know you think that is mean of him to say but, trust me....I think Sharon is the one having the last laugh here! She's off the hook from ever having to fornicate with the babbling old fool ever again!












MAGAZINE SCANS
Nicole Richie on TATTER mag













More Nicole going for a spin













Michelle Williams poses for VANITY FAIR.













Angelina is the cover girl for U.K'S version of MARIE CLAIRE.













Eva Longoria is ALLURE- ing.











OUT AND ABOUT
Nope, this ain't a porno shoot. It's the set of Mariah Carey's new video for the song, "Say Something"










Oh Lord. My worst fears have come true!
I do have something in common with Britney Spears!!! YIKES.










Christina and her hubby share a tender moment.













Nicole Kidman and Keith Urban have breakfast.










Jennifer Aniston tries to cover her face as she walks along with Vince Vaughn













HOGANS gone wild! Brooke Hogan (Hulk's 16 year old daughter) dirty dances with her mother Linda.













Papa Ashton takes two of his step daughters out for a bite to eat.













Jake and his dogs out for a walk. In this case a "carry"and a walk.













Tom Cruise unties his bride to be from the dungeon and takes her out in the daylight. OH My!













Nicole Richie on the set of THE SIMPLE LIFE.













Mummy Angelina













Halle Berry says HELLO!













Gavin takes a picture of his beautiful pregnant wife Gwen.













Colin Farrell on the set of a film.













More Britney in Hawaii with her baby. Still no hat, sunscreen on the kid!













Who's that masked celebrity all covered in a hood and wearing big sunglasses? Why of course it's Paris Hilton. Why is she trying to cover up you ask?













Cuz she is leaving this building. AHA!! She's been caught!! She swears she has never had work done. My a$$!









CUZ I SAID SO!

8 Comments:

Blogger verniciousknids said...

Can Jennifer Aniston just shut up - I'm so tired of her "woe is me" routine. grrr

8:09 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

OMG...THANK YOU! I was beginning to think I was the only one.

8:15 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

Why doesn't Jennifer Anniston just stop responding to whatever she reads in the tabs? She is just fueling the fire that she finds so "annoying". I'm beginning to think the same thing - she is loving the attention.

2:39 AM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

I guess you are either team Aniston or team Jolie...but frankly if Brad and Jolie can show up in every blood picture around the world (not trying to hide from the cameras) why should Jennifer? In my opinion, she has ever right to be there too and say whatever she wants. It's a free country the last time I looked. Jen...talk as much as you want!!

Sorry cuz..but I had to finally speak out. I guess I'm team Aniston!

OH and I don't feel sorry for her...she obviously was lucky getting out of a marriage with an idiot who does nothing but travel the world holding the children(mostly following) Angelina...

8:19 AM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Can I be frank? I hate all of them - Brad, Jen, Angie, even the kids for pete's sakes. Its like watching the Oscars. Its a bunch of rich people giving each other awards. This is a bunch of rich people talking about their problems because they actually think we care. This is not the first marriage to break up, and it aint the last. To Brad and Angie - stop thiking that you are actually making a difference by going to all of these poor countries and having your picture taken. You would do more good volunteering at a hospital or hospice, where there are NO PHOTOGRAPHERS. Jen - shut up. Nobody cares.

9:28 AM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

Well said Nadia...well said!

10:25 AM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

Why are we assuming that if Brit is indeed preggers..it's K-Fed's...I mean she could have a little (or a big) something on the side you know....and why do we assume that Angelina's bump is Brad's...hey it could be the same source as Katie's....you know...ALIENS!

dodododo..(theme from Twilight Zone)

3:12 PM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Thank you for bringing up another thing that I am sick of. If I see one more picture of Britney's belly with the assumption that she is pregnant, I am going to barf. Hello...its takes nine months to gain that baby weight, why do we think its going to be gone instantly when women give birth? Cut the girl some slack - she needs to lose weight, not hear how fat she is.

6:09 PM  

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