Celebrity W.T.F Volume 167
This WTF is a big one. LOTS and LOTS of Oscar and after-party photos so not so much news. Here we go....
Madonna's controversial kiss with Britney Spears has finally come back to haunt her. Madonna's 9 year old daughter Lourdes recently asked mom to clarify her sexuality. Madonna reassured her daughter that it was all in the name of spirituality.
Madonna says she told Lourdes, "I am the mommy pop star and Britney is the baby pop star and I am kissing her to pass my energy on to her."
When Lourdes turns 16 and thinks it's ok to "pass on her energy" to all her classmates, her 48 year old teacher and the butler - it'll all be Madonna's fault!
And this week's STAR Magazine is adamant that Britney is preggers. Her and Kevin are telling friends that they're expecting a second child. Apparently Britney was gushing about her pregnancy to some strange woman at a spa when she was in Hawaii. Kevin supposedly told a friend, who told Star: "Kevin said, 'Britney's pregnant again,' and when I expressed surprise he said, 'Yeah, it shocked the shit out of me too.'"
First of all, if Kevin had the "$hit shocked out of him" he'd disappear- since he's so full of it. And Kevin, if you don't like surprises try using a C-O-N-D-O-M. Do a google if you never heard of it. No excuses.
Here's a very recent photo of Brit and she does look preggers.
Salma Hayek says she was really impressed by Colin Farrell when they recently filmed a nude scene together. She says he was a real gentleman and very professional about it.
Salma explains, "For all of Mr Farrell's reputation, the man never looked at me while we were doing the scene. He kept his glance at my eyes. He never once looked down and I never told him not to."
I offer two possible reasons why Colin was not staring at Salma's fleshy chest.
1) He was hungover again and barely could focus
2) He was still drunk from the night before and he was looking, only he was seeing double and the second set of breasts were projected up on to Salma's face.
Supermodel Naomi Campbell is planning to write an autobiography with the help of celebrity friend Oprah Winfrey.
Naomi explains, "Oprah Winfrey wants to help me write my memoirs, so I'm going to do it with her. I love her. Only I know the truth "
Not surprised Naomi needs help writing her memoirs. I am surprised she remembers anything at all. I guess now now that she is entering her mid-30's she needs to find a new way to make money besides the catwalk.
Brad Pitt is considering starring in a movie based on Patricia Nell Warren's best seller "The Front Runner." The book is about a track coach and an athlete (both gay) preparing for the Olympics.
He's worth a gold medal in any sport. Let's hope in this case it's nude cross country running.
More hotness.....a sneak peek at PRISON BREAK which is back March 20th. Michael Scofield (Wentworth Miller) and T-Bag (Robert Knepper) do a little conspiring in the yard before finally making their escape out of Fox River Penitentiary. Inset photo: Scofield escapes through a pothole during a snowstorm dressed in a guard's uniform.
Arifa and Diana. .....YOUR WELCOME!
Jennifer Aniston could barely contain herself when Vince Vaughn walked into the Vanity Fair AFTER Oscar party. As soon as she saw him, she squealed, "Baby!" But then someone stepped on her dress, so she didn't make it into his arms right away. But when they embraced, they really embraced. "It was a full-on kiss on the lips," a Vanity Fair-goer says." She was just so excited to see him.
It doesn't mean he has feelings for her. May I remind you that Vince Vaughn loves to crash parties! Vince was probably shocked to see Jen there in the first place. WTF would Jen being doing at an OSCAR party...have you seen any of her movies???
Keira Knightley was devastated she didn't turn Jack Nicholson's head at the Academy Awards. Jack who is known for his womanizing ways, sat next to Kiera during the ceremony but completely ignored Kiera. Now she is self-concious. Speaking outside the post-Oscars Vanity Fair party she said, "Eveyone's been asking if Jack made a pass at me. "He didn't at all and now I'm getting a bit paranoid. Why didn't he make a pass at me?"
Oh, he was looking! Those weren't sunglasses Jack was wearing, they were a cover up for his wandering eyes. Besides, the old perv probably had two way mirrors on the tops of his shoes and was looking up Kiera's dress the whole time.
Jake Gyllenhaal arriving on the red carpet. Well, it's not really red...it's burgundy.
Handsome Terrance Howard was nominated for best actor but, didn't get the gold trophy.
Felicity Huffman and hubby William H Macy cuddle for the cameras. I loved her dress but, I think she could of used some double sided tape just to be a bit perkier. And I ain't referring to her personality.
Someone who needed no tape at all...Dolly Parton who was nominated for an Oscar - AND NO, Not for best supporting actress (snicker snicker) but, for her song "Travelling Through" which was in the film TRANSAMERICA.
Charlize Theron usually looks stellar. I didn't like this gown. It looks like a bridesmaid dress from the 80's.
Salma Hayek gorgeous in teal.
Uma Thurman who was a presenter looked radiant in her gown.
Now you know why Jack Nicholson wasn't looking at Kiera Knightley's chest. Nothing to see people....nothing to see.
Jessica Alba wore Oscar Gold.
Joaquin Phoenix didn't win best actor but, I am sure he made Johnny Cash proud.
AND NOW...For the JENNIFERS.
Starting with Jennifer Aniston. Didn't like the dress but, the black seemed appropriate since she likes to constantly remind us all how she's still in mourning.
Jennifer Lopez. She showed up with hubby Marc Anthony. The green suits her but, don't like the mudflap things at her hips.
Jennifer Garner. Just a couple months after giving birth she looked great. She entered the red carpet so gracefully....
Alas, it was later on stage when Jennifer walked on to present an award and she nearly fell. Not once but, twice. I was mortified for her only for the fact that she is doing this in front of hubby Ben Affleck's ex ..J-LO and I pictured J-LO and Marc snickering to each other in their seats when it happened. However, Jennifer Garner got out of the near tumble gracefully and brilliantly by saying, "I do my own stunts"
NOTE - If this happened to J-LO she would sue the place and fire everyone who set up the stage.
Heath Ledger didn't get to take home an Oscar for best actor but, he did get to take home his golden girl Michelle Williams (Who was also nominated for best supporting actress but, did not win)
And my favorite moment of the evening was when Reese Witherspoon won. She had the best speech of anyone. She seemed very genuine, emotional and excited. Then again, she won best actress category so maybe it was an all an act.
Later, Reese and her mom talk about her new Oscar.
Rapper Eve is no fool. She hangs out with Matt Dhillon at the Oscar after party.
Hilary Swank looks stunning as she hangs out at the after party.
Nicole Kidman looks like she wants to scream HELP as Teri Hatcher corners her. Teri's been into the wine. AGAIN.
Jennifer Aniston waiting for Vince to arrive. She looks so lost without Ross and Monica around.
Heidi Klum and hubby Seal ham it up for the camera. Perhaps acting out a little Monica/Bill Clinton role playing?
Sienna Miller must be drunk. She isn't attacking the paparrazzi for once.
Sandra Bullock and her big lug of a man Jesse James at the after party.
Nicole Richie poses with Alyssa Milano. Nicole went with a black dress. Like, she 's the LAST person who needs to wear a slimming colour!
Paris struts around like a peacock and for once her dress suits her!
Is it still considered a wardrobe malfunction when you don't care that your shirt is open?
Pammy and Paris pose at the VANITY FAIR Oscar after party. The only thing these two have in common is that they have blonde hair. Oh and the $ex tapes. But, in fairness to Pam, people actually wanted to see her tape.
Later....Pam Anderson meets up with her ex Baywatch buddy Carmen Electra. They seem to be drunk and comparing boob jobs.
Mariah Carey could give
all these boobs a run for their money. Holy cleavage. She's probably got her date in there somewhere.
Madonna was there too. Notice how nobody would stand beside her. That's what happens when you are toned and buff. Nobody wants to stand beside you.
Lindsay Lohan and Sharon Stone party together. The only thing these two have in common is that their basic instinct is to open their legs.
When Sir Mix-A-Lot wrote the song "Baby's got Back" I can assure you he wasn't referring to Lindsay Lohan.
Avril Lavigne is officially a FORD model - until she smiles that is.
Nick Lachey tells TEEN People..."Don't feel sorry for me"
We used to, but, now that you left Jessica...we ARE thrilled for you!
OUT AND ABOUT
While most paparrazzi got to shoot exciting Oscar coverage...some poor sap had to monitor Kevin and Britney's balcony in Hawaii.
Can you imagine the stench? EW
The fertile couple take a little stroll together.
Jessica Simpson is probably wondering why she was not invited to the Oscars. She went out with some friends.
Teri Hatcher gets two coffees for the road. A little hungover perhaps?
The Braddy family clan arriving at the airport in Germany.
Remember Eddie Van Halen? That gorgeous guitar player from Van Halen who won our hearts back in the 80's and early 90's??? (Well mine anyhow)
WTF Happened to him?
When I saw this photo it made me JUMP !!!!
Adam Sandler looks rough here but, it's for a movie he's working on. At least he has an excuse.
Mariah Carey at the soul train awards on the weekend. Mariah and Kimora Lee Simmons mock kiss each other. These two wouldn't be lesbians in a million years. Ruin their lipstick? NOT ON YOUR LIFE!
CUZ I SAID SO!!!