Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Thursday, February 02, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 144

Jennifer Aniston is convinced the failure of her marriage to Brad was karma for all the times they raved about how happy they were. Jennifer says Brad's ex-fiancee Gwyneth Paltrow was right when she criticized the couple for being too eager to share their private joy with the rest of the world.
She says, "You know, she's right. She's absolutely correct. I feel like there is a graveyard of celebrity couples who have now learned their lesson. So you learn those lessons. It's just about learning what to keep sacred."

Yeah and we know how Gwyneth is so discreet about her personal life. ("Apple this, Apple that, she said the cutest thing today, oh she loves Madonna, oh she blew her nose in my hand it was so cute....blah blah blah")
And give me a break. Jennifer never talked about Brad a quarter as much when they were together as she does now.

Britney Spears reportedly shocked shoppers in a mall last week when she clutched her belly and announced she was pregnant with her second child.
Witnesses claim Britney was upset by staring fans as she browsed for furniture at high-end store Shabby Chic.
One fellow shopper, Ginny Masse, tells In Touch magazine, "Britney put her hands on her belly, laughed and said, 'That's right, number two!'"

I don't know about you but, when I put my hands on my belly and say number two it means clear the damn path to the bathroom.
I doubt she is preggers again I mean could she really be that stupid? Is she really going to have another spawn of Kevin's?

Brad Pitt wants to be gay. Well, in the movies at least. A source told The Sun: "Brad has asked his people to find him a script to play a gay man. He wants it to be a story that appeals to both men and women and he wants it to be the edgiest work he's done. He's seen the critical acclaim that Brokeback Mountain has won and he wants a piece of it."

If Brad played a gay cowboy they would have to call it "I put out my back mountain" Cuz lots of men would like a piece of that.
I bet kinky Angelina said to him "If you do a sex scene with a guy I'd really like that. That would turn me on. I will do the same for you in the privacy of our home with that cute little Spanish stewardess we met while we were flying around saving the world"

Kate Moss will be asked to mentor Victoria Beckham on the runway. According to the Daily Express, Victoria is eagerto make a go of her new fashion model status. Recently, Posh strutted the catwalk for Roberto Cavalli, but, she thinks she has lots to learn.
A source said, "Victoria is well aware that she doesn't look entirely natural on the catwalk at the moment due to her nerves. She really feels her own modelling career would benefit from the advice, as she's desperate to improve."

Victoria will never look "entirely natural" anywhere. Because she isn't.

Meanwhile, Kate Moss yesterday finally gave in to police demands and went in for questioning over her cocaine use. Apparently, she gave nothing away. On her lawyers' advice it is understood the model refused to comment on whether she had snorted the drug and denied supplying it to others. Kate, who met detectives for 90 minutes four months after published video images of her apparently taking coke, was not arrested or cautioned.

How can you deny something that is caught on film? What type of excuse could she possibly have? "Uh, yeah officer, I thought it was coke like coca cola. I thought they crystalized it now. All the models drink diet coke to stay thin and I thought snorting it up my nose with a straw might make the coke diet."
Actually, she's a supermodel. They just might buy that!

Angelina Jolie has a private team of make-up artists who cover her tattoos before filming. Producers ordered the pregnant actress who is currently shooting new movie 'Beowulf' to hide her body art. She had to endure four hours of make-up on the set of her films. Angelina has more than ten tattoos and symbols on her body.

I'm thinking why not hire an actress who isn't covered in tattoos? And you'd think in this day and age they could digitally edit them out or something....maybe it's just an excuse to have her naked and covered in powder for four hours.

Kanye West wants Pamela Anderson to join him on stage when he performs his hit 'Gold Digger' at the Brit Awards on February 15. Pam has just shot a video with Kanye in Las Vegas and the pair reportedly hit it off.
A source revealed, "She may play a pole or erotic dancer. Kanye is really excited about the idea."

Pam recently pole danced at an Elton John special. I thought Kanye was supposed to be ground breaking with his ideas? Pam better not attempt any upside down know the rules of gravity. It won't be pretty.

Kirsten Dunst was left speechless after an old man asked her if he could lick whipped cream off her naked body. According to onlookers, Dunst started to walk away after the man made his rude request, and he was allegedly overheard saying: "Wait. What's the matter? I come to watch you dance every weekend."

I can't imagine why Kristen Dunst would be mistaken for a stripper. What the story DOESN'T tell you is that she was standing outside of a hotel which was right beside a strip club. Easy mistake any drunken pervert could of made.

Heath Ledger and Michelle Williams leaving yoga class.

Shouldn't Nicole's dogs be walking her? Notice how they smartly keep their distance from her in case she keels over from being malnourished?

Serena Williams looks hot in this teal dress.

Halle Berry on the set of her new movie "Perfect Stranger". And if we didn't know her we would probably think she was one.

Penelope Cruz and Matthew McConaughy on a secluded beach. I don't blame him for taking her there. I really don't like her with bangs. Ugh.

It's ironic how Pamela Anderson wears an industrial strength bra while posing with her fans yet.....

Wears no bra to play with her kids on the beach. It's all fun until some one loses an eye.

Cutie Reese Witherspoon in London to promote her movie "WALK THE LINE"

Michael Douglas and Catherine Zeta-Jones at a New York dinner event.

British model Jordan at her book signing. Jordan wrote a book? Can she read it? Check out her skirt.

Katie Holmes has a chance to run for it and doesn't. Maybe that's why Tom is finally let her have a little freedom. With her pregnancy and those sedatives he slips in her milk she ain't goin' no where. Nowhere Fast anyhow.

Lindsay Lohan shopping.

Brangelina in Berlin. They both look exhausted. JET LAG for sure.

Ashlee Simpson went into the phone booth and turned into Paris Hilton coming out. Holy crap the resemblance is uncanny.

Meanwhile the OTHER Ashley....Ashley Olsen is looking more and more like Jessica Simpson every day.

Pink chews the microphone while she guests on MTV'S TRL.

Boy George looking pale and stressed.

Charlize Theron shortly after finding out she was nominated for an Oscar for the second time.

Eva Longoria is all smiles. If you look really close she has the number 9 on her necklace. That's boyfriend Tony Parker's jersey number. It's also on the back of her jeans.

Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas is going to have a role in the modern version of the "Posseiden Adventure". For those of you who never saw the original, there's a pretty good chance she's gonna drown in it.

Jennifer and Marc on the set of their movie. I wonder if her character is supposed to act like she doesn't want him touching her?

The advertisement for Vince and Jennifer's movie THE BREAK-UP

And some scenes from a new comedy called THE DATE MOVIE. It is like SCARY MOVIE where they spoof all the movies and ofcourse this movie spoofs all romantic comedy and first date type movies.
For example Mr and Mrs Smith. It stars the redhead girl from the AMERICAN PIE movies. You know "This one band camp" Chick. Allyson Hannigan.


Also pokes fun at THE WEDDING CRASHERS.

Looks like bad, silly, stupid fun. I will probably see it.



Blogger Dawn said...

LMAO at the comment about britney holding her stomach and saying "#2" haha!
Also, that last still of the Wedding Planner spoof, nearly made me spit out my coffee.

3:40 AM  
Blogger Da Tew Catz said...

YAY 'scary movie' is back LOL too much I love the pic's you included !! It looks way to funny ! I'll so see it aswell !

Anyhoooo... i wonder what other tid bits of the stars will bring us the rest of this week !

3:12 PM  

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