Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, February 28, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 162

Victoria Beckham says she is a real life 'Desperate Housewife' who spends her days doing housework and raising her children.
She told a British newspaper: "The truth is I see myself like one of the characters from the series 'Desperate Housewives'. Lynette - the one who has the most kids. All day with the kids."

Let's compare shall we?
Lynette - has 3 boys and 1 girl
Victoria - has 3 boys and 10 nannies

Lynette - has a career
Victoria - not so much

Lynette- takes her kids with her everywhere
Victoria - not so much

Lynette - has a great husband
Victoria - has a fine husband

Lynette- runs around so much she has no time to eat
Victoria - has plenty of time to eat but, she just doesn't

Although I will agree that Victoria comes across as desperate...she wouldn't last two minutes as Lynette.

Meanwhile....David Beckham says that despite only being 30 years old says he is falling apart physically. The hunk claims he lacks the stamina he once had, and he also admits his physique is starting to sag.
He says, "I find it harder to get out of bed in the morning. For a woman, I think 30 is one of the best ages but, for a man, they say it's all downhill from there. You start putting on weight and getting lumps and bumps in places you didn't have them when you were 20."

We still love you. Bumps, Lumps and all.

Jessica Simpson took a break from filming her latest movie to dine with New Mexico governer Bill Richardson at his mansion. Jessica was invited to dinner with the governor and his wife along with her parents, studio executives and members of the governor's staff. The dinner lasted two hours and included a menu of chicken roulade, potatoes and green chile-stuffed tomatoes.
Richardson spokesman Paul Shipley explained, "The governor feels very strongly about getting involved personally to promote New Mexico's film industry."

I'm sure the governer's invite had nothing to do with Jessica's cleavage. Men in politics usually have good intentions when they set their eyes on fresh, young talent.Just ask Monica Lewinsky.

Pamela Anderson is romancing Formula One ace Eddie Irvine. The two were seen being very affectionate at the glitzy Chateau Marmont in Los Angeles last weekend.
A pal says, "I have never seen Eddie look so happy. He and Pamela can't get enough of each other at the moment. "

And really how long does a "moment" last in Hollywood. By the time I finish typing this Pammy will be doing naked cartwheels for yet another suitor.

Mariah Carey has been cast in a new. According to Variety, the diva will play the role of a waitress who along with her two brothers sets out to find their estranged father in hope of saving their youngest brother from leukemia.

Didn't think Mariah would be cast in anything after her last flop "Glitter". This is her last chance to prove she can act. Or ....she can just wear a really low cut top and hope that nobody notices.

Patrick Dempsey will reveal on a Barbara Walters' special that he's dyslexic. Apparently it is quite a struggle and according to a source, "He doesn't do cold readings. He tries to get the script in advance so that he can memorise it."
Dempsey plays Dr Derek Shepherd in hit medical drama Grey's Anatomy.

Patrick, if you are reading this - !!!!!TOH OS R UOY

Although Jennifer Aniston claims that her and ex-husband Brad Pitt are still friends, she admits she will not look at photos of Brad, Angelina, Maddox and Zahara.
She revealed: "I don't pay them any attention. It's poisonous."

If only we could pursuade Jennifer to DRINK the photos.

Goldie Hawn and her family celebrated her 60th birthday in an odd fashion. She explains that while they were vacationing in Tahiti when they decided to get tattoos from a local artist. She explains, "It wasn't a plan, we were all together on my birthday, we were in Tahiti and my older son said, 'You know what would be really cool? Why don't we all get a tattoo for Mom's birthday?' So, we all got them done!"

While Goldie's daughter Kate would look so cute with a butterfly on her chest...Goldie getting a matching tattoo would have to understand something. At 60 - the same butterfly has droopy wings and ends up on your stomach.

The U.K's Sun reports that Eva Longoria admitted she has put on weight, but she doesn't care. She claims she packed on the pounds because of her boyfriend, San Antonio Spurs point guard, Tony Parker. In an interview Longoria said:
"I think I'm putting on weight because I'm in love
and I don't need to try any more."

Yeah, that Eva. Such a porker. If she falls any more deeply in love she better call Jenny Craig.
Give me a break.

Courtney Love and her daughter Frances Bean hang out together.

Paris Hilton and sister Nicky out shopping. Poor things. So much money, so little time.

Nicole Richie and Benny Medina (famous music producer) meet up to discuss her new album to be released this year.

Christina Aguilera who is actually in the studio recording here looks gorgeous.

Where there's smoke....there's Kevin Do-a-line. Uh, I mean Federline.

Ben, Jennifer and Violet go for a stroll.

Jessica Alba is in Paris. So is Angelina. Then men in Paris must be tres excited.

Matthew McConaughy looking buff and handsome. If you like that sort of thing.

Renee Zellweger finally figures out that a good CHANEL suit will last longer than any man she will ever find.

Will Smith channels Tom Cruise on India's version of American Idol which would be called - you guessed it - INDIAN IDOL.

More pregnancy rumors...this time Elizabeth Hurley has tongues wagging because the way her stomach looks in this dress. Can't anyone retain water in peace any more?????

Ryan, Reese and the kids go out for lunch.

Proof that ANYONE can write a book. Lord help us.

Nick Lachey's girlfriend. I think Nick might have a thing for big boobs. Just a hunch.

Marilyn Manson's wife performing. Thus the name...Dita Von TEESE.

Britain's Jordan in a U.K Magazine. My, what she has. I am surprised Nick's not dating her.

And the ad for a new movie with Paris Hilton in it called BOTTOMS UP. Something's never change.


Monday, February 27, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 161

Jennifer Aniston allegedly got a big-time birthday present from Vince Vaughn. According to this week's issue of Life & Style magazine, Vince said to Jennifer, "I know how badly you want kids, so let's have them together. We don't have to promise each other anything, but we'll always be the mom and dad."
Aniston reportedly told her friend, "I didn't know what to say. I love Vince, but I'm not in love. I want a child more than anything but with my best friend? I don't know what to do."

Oh please. It's not like it would be the first time she had a baby with a "friend"

On the set of her new movie, Employee of the Month, rumor has it that Jessica Simpson was talking with her castmates when she reportedly had an emotional breakdown, according to a new report in In Touch Magazine. An eyewitness reported, "Jessica completely broke down one minute everyone was happy, then she suddenly burst into tears. She said that she was sad she had been to be alone on Valentine's Day and she said she felt lost."

Aw, did poor baby have to go out and buy her own Ferrari and box of chocolates? Nobody to yell at, nag to, ask stupid questions, flaunt her paycheque for doing nothing heart goes out to her. No, not really. Of course Jessica was lost....but, isn't she always?

Sheryl Crow has had surgery for breast cancer, her publicist says. Sheryl will now have radiation therapy.
"Her doctors think her prognosis is excellent," said her publicist, but she has had to postpone her North American tour scheduled to begin next month.

I love Sheryl so let's all pray she recovers quickly!

Lindsay Lohan surprised everyone at a New York night club when she stepped into the DJ booth and played records for 40 minutes.
Among the tunes DJ Lindsay played were AC/DC's "You Shook Me All Night Long," the Beatles' "Ticket to Ride" and Eminem's "Just Lose It."

I wonder how dizzy she got watching the record go around and around and around and around and around.

Britney and her husband Kevin are reportedly in marriage counselling to try and attempt to save their marriage. They are apparently seeing Hollywood based therapist Irene Kassoria to try and stop their endless bickering.
A source told The Sun: "Britney needs to stop flying off the handle. Kevin needs to listen better and not run off to Vegas every time they fight. But their relationship is already much better."

Hmm, let's see........ Britney is currently enjoying a holiday in Hawaii with her son while Kevin has been spotted with a blonde in Malibu. If I were Britney, I'd be asking the therapist for a refund.

Katie Holme's family members are worried about the pregnant star. According to a report in STAR magazine, Katie apparently promised her parents she wouldn't go to Australia because of the impending birth of her first baby. She is nearly 8 months and exhausted from her nonstop schedule. It seemed obvious to family members that she didn't want to endure a 28-hour round-trip flight that poses obvious health risks to her and her baby. So her family was shocked and concerned when Katie ended up going on the trip to be with Tom Cruise.

I agree! Tom keeps saying Katie is not allowed to be working on movies or doing any publicity type events because of her pregnancy but, he has her gallavanting all over the world with him to keep up appearances.

Pamela Anderson has is fighting back at the Australian media. Recently while Pammy was down under on a promotional trip for M&Ms chocolates - she was horrified when she read unflattering reports in the local press.
On her website, Anderson writes: "I've been in Australia for 24 hours and they've already made me out to be a monster. I came here with a carry-on bag and they said I arrived with nine bags and I cancelled interviews, etc. It's a joke. The only interviews that were cancelled were tabloid interviews. As far as I know, I don't speak to tabloids."

Pamela really is my hero. How do you go to Australia with just a carry-on bag? Then again, she doesn't really wear much does she?

Ashlee Simpson And Carmen Electra will be designing suites for the newest Hard Rock Hotel.
The suites will be in the theme of Rock Star Suites. Carmen's suite is a Rock Star Goddess Suite, complete with a heart-shaped bathtub and a stripper pole Ashlee Simpson's room has a Rocker Surfer Chick motif. Meanwhile, the group The Black Eyed Peas have be asked to design the uniforms for the hotel staff.

I can just imagine what the maids will be wearing. Oh, I was about to superimpose Fergie of the Black Eyed Peas' face on this woman's body but, I realized that it already looks like her. Freaky eh?

A convicted German cannibal wants to make Barry Manilow, Hugh Grant, Robbie Williams And Liam Gallagher his next victims. Armin Meiwes is currently serving an eight and a half year jail sentence for eating the dead body of a 43-year-old engineer he met on the internet in 2004.
Now Meiwes wants to add celebrities to his victims. He says, "I want to eat people who are beautiful."

I can certainly relate to this cannibal guy. Don't get me wrong, I don't want to eat anybody but, I have been known to say "I'd like a piece of that" when it comes to Hugh Grant.

Ashton Kutcher got caught by his wife Demi Moore checking out provocative photos on his e-mail. A young, blonde girl who said she was a fan, sent several photos with sexy poses and she was completely naked reports the National Enquirer.
Ashton was amused and forwarded the pictures of his naked blonde fan along to all of his pals. Demi thought that was no big deal at first but, when she found out they were from a fan she ordered Ashton to delete them and dump that email address.

First Richie Sambora, now Ashton. Doesn't anyone in Hollywood know how to delete their history and protect their passwords on a computer?

The Strokes drummer Fabrizio Moretti cut short his appearance at the Nme awards in London last night, so he could return home to his girlfriend Drew Barrymore. After a busy schedule promoting the band's new album, the couple have been apart for a month so Fabrizio was in quite the hurry to get home.
He told reporters, "I'm rushing back to Drew 'cause I haven't had sex in a month."

Drew couldn't be reached for comment because she was too busy shaving her legs and practising sucking in her non existent stomach in preparation of the event.

Kate Moss makes the cover of VOGUE in China.

Sharon Stone graces the cover of the American version of VOGUE. Here's a sneak peek of one of the inside photos.

More VOGUE...A featured insert include photos of Reese Witherspoon and Joaquin Pheonix reprising their roles as June and Johnny Cash. I love this shot.

More June and Johnny. Or Reese and Joaquin, depending how you look at it.

Lovers quarrel? Great photo. Hot car.

The ever popular Reese also makes the cover of ENTERTAINMENT magazine.

Nicole Richie is the GUARDIAN WEEKEND cover girl this month. They are referring to her in this issue as a "Fashion Icon"
Since when did a popsicle stick become the face of young fashion?

Nick Lachey and a mysterious blonde arriving at a night club.

In case you are suffering from "Desperate Housewife" gardener's Jesse Metcalfe.

Nice try Janet but, camouflage pants will not hide you from the paparrazzi.

Kirsten Dunst pokes her head out of the house to have a smoke.

Lucy Lui looking very J-LO like on the streets of L.A

Shakira literally looks like she just crawled out of bed. Is she not wearing sheets?

Angelina tried to stop Maddox from throwing dirty looks at Zahara.

Geri Halliwell is due to give birth any minute now...good thing she is wearing those heavy duty boots in case her water breaks.

Kate Moss sitting in the audience at a fashion show. WTF happened to her knees? I guess we all know how she got that BURBERRY modelling contract back. Wink wink.

And a photo of Kate's nasty looking ex Pete Doherty just to reinforce to you that COCAINE makes you do crazy, irrational things. How else do you explain why Kate dated this? Yikes....and he's apparently sober in this photo.

Hunky Paul Walker in a clip from the movie "Running Scared"
Too bad it wasn't called "Running Naked", I 'd go see it for sure.

Victoria Beckham and her youngest son Cruz out and about. Poor Victoria must be drained. The kid weighs twice as much as she does!

And David a recent game. And everyone wonders why women make up half the audience at a soccer game these days.

Seal holding his baby Henry who he fathered with Heidi Klum. Love this pic!

Britney on the set of Will and Grace. This picture is sparking rumors that she is pregnant again.

More Britney. Most recent pic of her walking around Hawaii. Could she be so stupid to be pregnant yet again? You decide.
Personally, I think she just had too much salt at lunch.

Jennifer Lopez and her hubby at yet another fashion show. He looks completely and utterly bored.

Nicky Hilton takes the catwalk at the end of a fashion show for her clothing line CHICK. Check out the guy checking out Nicky's pancake butt.

Keith Urban and Nicole Kidman are still together. This week anyhow.

Only Evageline Lily (pictured) and an 18 month old girl could get away with wearing this bathing suit. Do NOT ATTEMPT this at home!!!

Alyssa Milano shops on Rodeo Drive.

Pictures from Paris Hilton's birthday party last week. I can see how turning 24 has matured her immensely and made her see what is important in life.