Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Monday, January 30, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 141

Eva Longoria and boyfriend Tony Parker have bought a house together. The actress and the basketball star plan to spend the next three years renovating the new property and Eva suggests they may move in as man and wife.
She says, "Well it will be three years before the house is ready, so maybe by then we'll have solidified something."

Shouldn't you have the relationhip "solidified into something" before they purchasing a house
together? This house better have high ceilings. Just look at Tony, he is huge! He towers over Eva. Her neck must be killing her on a regular basis from looking up at him - which will probably be the reason why these two end up breaking up before the house is ready.

Gwyneth Paltrow is investing in a wardrobe of girdles. She thinks this time she will have a harder time re-gaining her pre pregnancy body.
She says: "You think: 'It's fine because I'm pregnant so I'm meant to be fat.' But afterwards it doesn't go for a while, so girdles are good to raise the morale. Lots of make-up and blush are great too."

So you mean to tell me that Tammy Faye Baker is fat but, I have never noticed because my attention is drawn to her face which has caked on makeup?
Hey.......this could work...

Paris Hilton has been taking singing lessons. "I'm taking singing lessons," she said, "When I tour, I'll have to know how to project my voice night after night. I love being a pop star it's every little girl's dream."

Paris better cancel those lessons! In order to tour you need to actually sell tickets for your venue. And not just to family members and drunken college boys.

Alanis Morissette is loving her new blonde hair. However, her fiance Ryan Reynolds took a while getting used to her dramatic new style.
She says, "It was a hard adjustment for him, I think. He fell in love with a brunette, so it took a little moment or two. But we're having fun now together with it!"

I don't like Alanis as a blonde either. She looks more like a typical soccer mom than a kick ass rocker. Although her new songs might be interesting. Blonde inspired lyrics. I suppose we can look forward to songs like,
"I'm blonde but, I'm witty
I'm blonde but, I'm smart
I'm blonde but, I'm wholesome baby.
I'm blonde but, I'm Canadian
I'm blonde but, I'm having more fun
Cuz I got one hand in my pocket and the other one's in my other pocket.

It's just not the same. GO BACK TO BRUNETTE ALANIS!!

If Tom and Katie follow the reported Scientology guidelines, sex is off for the duration of the pregnancy according to 'In Touch.'
An insider tells In Touch Weekly that Tom Cruise "has put the brakes on their lovemaking." It turns out that Scientology founder L. Ron Hubbard "wrote that a mother-to-be shouldn't engage in sex because it could negatively impact the baby."

Notice how it doesn't mention that the father-to-be cannot have sex. Tom knows this well and so does the 22 year old Mexican cabana boy that lives in Tom's guest house.

Lindsay Lohan was admitted to a hospital Friday afternoon and received ten stitches in her shin. Apparently she slipped on the stairs. Lindsay's mom Dina exclusively told the Star, "Lindsay and her friends were preparing breakfast and Lindsay was going up the stairs, carrying a ceramic teacup. She had just come out of the shower so she was still wet and had some lotion on, and she completely flipped on the stairs since it was slippery. The teacup went flying, it was shattered and one of the pieces cut Lindsay in her shin. It was an accident."

What amazes me are all the "accidents" this party girl has had and yet, pregnancy isn't one of them.

Guy Ritchie has agreed to be best man at Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's wedding. The arrangements were made during a dinner last Wednesday night. "All the talk was of the forthcoming nuptials," a source told the Sunday Mirror. "And then Brad said to Guy he would like him to be best man. Guy was absolutely thrilled. He thinks it's a real honour."

No offense to Guy cuz I think he's great but, NO MATTER WHAT - Brad will be the best man at his wedding in my books.

Tara Reid gives money to a dog. That's a switch. Normally animals give her money to roll over. Actually she does it for free most of the time.

Patti LaBelle looking like a walking billboard for RED LOBSTER. W.T.F was she thinking or drinking when she chose this horrible outfit??

Paris Hilton needs an assistant to carry out tons of Victoria Secret bags. I don't understand why she bothers. Anybody who has ever wanted to see her naked already has.

Pamela Anderson carries a coffee, her keys and a bag of groceries. Which is amazing if you think about it. She's gotta have a bad back by now.

The cover of PINK's new album entitled "I'm not dead."

Nicole Richie's ex on his way to a d.j gig.

Doesn't Nicky Hilton know that smoking stunts your growth and can also cause a weird shaped ass?

Speaking of asses...Kevin lights up a smoke and a silly grin.

Drew Barrymore looks lovely in this photo. She has redeemed herself from the "Golden Globes" award fiasco where she went braless. Just in time cuz the SAG awards were Sunday night....

Ewan McGregor is sizzling hot in a kilt.

Jamie-Lynn Sigler who plays Meadow on the The Sopranos looks lovely at the PACIFIC PARADISE fragrance launch.

Brad Pitt's ex from many moons ago - Juliette Lewis shares a joke with someone recently.

Martin Lawrence transformed into Big Momma - who is in turn transformed into Bo Derek....a scene from BIG MOMMA 2

For once Mary Kate looks semi-decent yet she's trying to cover her face.

Mary Kate should consider dating Paris Hilton's ex...Paris Latsis. He looks smelly, dirty and ragged despite being worth millions. Mary Kate and him have a lot in common!

Brad and Angelina leaving HEATHROW airport in London.

Guess who the new mama is?

It's Jennifer Garner without Ben Affeck or her trademark STARBUCKS coffee.

Pink out and about. She's got a new tattoo on her leg. I guess her new hubby Carey Hart is rubbing off on her....literally...he's covered in tattoos!

Jessica Simpson doing the only thing she knows how....... shopping.

Nick leaving Koi restaurant in L.A. Something stuck in his teeth?

Nicole Richie enjoys a hamburger while eating a very elaborate disguise. Just because she's chewing it doesn't mean she swallows.



Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Hmmm I don't like Pink's new album cover, it doesn't work for me. The haircut that her BF had in their wedding photos is the exact haircut I have now, including the blonde highlights.

Wow Nicole is finally eating... Its true though just bcuz she does chew doesn't mean she swallows, lol.

With Brad's wedding, thats weird he would ask Guy, I would think George Clooney would be the one he chose... I didn't even know Guy and Brad hung out...

Hahaha that would've been funny if Drew didn't wear a bra again to the SAG awards, lol.

7:52 PM  
Anonymous Lena said...

Blond or brunette - either way Ryan is too hot for Alanis

Lindsays probably been pregnant over 20 times if you count aborbtions

Tara is looking much thinner and sober......boring: bring back bloated and drunk tara

Didn't Eva also have tonys name tatooed on her two months after they met? Harvard lost out big time when she decided to become an actress......

10:33 PM  
Blogger Dawn said...

andrew makes a good point - I too would have thought Brad would have chosen George to be the best man. Didn't know that Brad and Guy hung out at all.

Your blog makes me happy, just so you know. :)

2:53 AM  

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