Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Saturday, January 28, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 140

Salma Hayek has hit out at Hollywood's obsession with weight. The gorgeous actress refuses to work out or starve herself for a role.
She says: "I find it very boring to have to be skinny all the time. It bores me and makes me bitchy. But, in Hollywood it's okay if you're a bitch as long as you're skinny!"

Salma is so right! I tried to go three days without carbs once and I pushed an old lady with a walker out of my way at Wal-mart because she was blocking the pair of shoes that I didn't need that were on rollback. They should have a new Hollywood reality show called "When hungry girls attack!" - Now that I would watch!

Joaquin Phoenix's car overturned and collided with another vehicle after his brakes went out, but there were no reports of injury, police said. Don't worry ladies (And some of you gents) Joaquin is fine because he was wearing his seat belt. He walked away from the scene after being helped out of his vehicle by a passer-by.

Heck, even if he never got an accident....he'd be FINE. And we are so glad he is.

Newly single Jude Law who just broke up for the 10th time (it seems) with Sienna Miller, has been spotted spending time with a stripper he met recently. Sources say his latest conquest has got nothing on Sienna, a source claimed, "He's been going to the Body Shop strip club every night and hanging out with this nasty young brunette she is really beat looking."

It's probably the nanny he was shagging previously. Let's face it the poor girl would never find nanny work again - Who the heck would want to hire her? She must of turned to stripping to pay for her medical degree...or whatever it is they say they do it for.

Kate Moss has enrolled her daughter in an American daycare fuelling rumours she plans to stay in the US. Kate, who has spent a lot of time in the States following her cocaine scandal has also asked three-year-old Lila Grace's British nanny to stay on in Los Angeles.

No surprise here. L.A's a party place. The weed there is ten times better than any coke she could get in Britain....She ain't goin' nowhere.

Jessica Simpson is desperate to start dating again after splitting up with Nick but, she wants HIM to be the first one to be spotted out with a date - so she won't be blamed for their break-up. Jessica's father, Joe, has apparently told his daughter to wait in order to protect her image.

What image? Her stupid dumb blonde image?
Rumor has it this photo is Jessica leaving a hotel after spending the night with Maroon 5's Adam Levine. Way to keep your wholesome image....... idiot.

Britney and Kevin are attempting to fix their marriage with a bowling ball. They were seen together laughing and playing at their local bowling alley.
Britney was overheard saying: "Bowling allows us to curse at each other in a good way."It was recommended as therapy a way to have something fun to do together."

Britney and Kevin are bowling now??? SPARE me. (Get it?)
I found this on the net and thought it was hilarious. This couple went to a Hallowe'en party as the Federlines. Perfect costumes!

Angelina and Brad are reportedly bickering about whether to get married. Angelina reportedly told a friend, "We will never marry.If the kids get older and demand that we have a ceremony, we might. But that's a touchy subject with us."
On the same day, Pitt allegedly told another friend that he and Angelina were planning to marry "very soon".

I don't believe this story because it really pains me to. I want these to marry already....but, then again you already know how I feel.

Gwyneth Paltrow signed to become a spokesmodel for Estee Lauder, because she was desperate for cash. She insists it was her first paycheque in three years.
She says, " I basically stopped making money from acting in 2002. All the things I've done since then have been things I've really wanted to do and I have not made money from them."

If she hasn't been paid for anything since 2002 why is she in the bloody news every second day? Are we to believe she is hurting for cash? It she does have money she ain't spending it to touch up her roots....that's for sure.

Denise Richards out with one of her daughters Sam and a nanny at the playground. Not sure why the kid's top looks like she was just competing in a spring break contest.....

Sarah Jessica Parker and her son James. This kid is always in a stroller or being carried. Can he walk? For Pete's sake he's 3 now (Maddox, honey...cover your are an exception)

Meg Ryan is the latest celeb to adopt a foreign baby. This adorable little girl from China. I hope this is not like the little dog trend in Hollywood where they just get companions as accessories.

Nicole Kidman is the latest celebrity to be in the process of becoming a GOODWILL ambassador. She divorced Tom Cruise.....isn't that enough good will for one lifetime?

Britney, her mom and baby Sean go shopping. That's not a smoke in Brit's's a lollipop. Although I give her props for not smoking, that lollipop is just as dangerous. Baby Sean makes one sudden turn and there goes a cornea.

Jessica Simpson with a friend and her dog Daisy - probably following Nick.

Michael Jackson wears a burka while wandering around with his children who are covered also. I think Michael's bankruptcy would of been inevitable with or without all his law suit payoffs....I mean think about the amount of therapy these kids are going to need!

Charlize Theron walks, talks and jokes with a friend. She is not a typical blonde. This girl can multi task!

The men of BROKEBACK MOUNTAIN sit.....not JUMP.....on Oprah' s couch...

Remember Zach from SAVED BY THE BELL? Here he is .....I bet SCREECH looks hotter now.

Crazy Love? Jlo and Marc make out while on break on their new movie.

STRANGE LOVE....remember these two? Flava and Brigette?

I sense another wacky love story reality show coming on. David Guest (Liza Minelli's freaky looking ex-husband seems to be dating has been rapper from the Surreal Life...DA BRAT)

Da Brat's got her own FOOFIE FOOFIE (as a shiver runs up my spine)

Jennifer Love Hewitt may be a ghost whisperer but, the only spirits she is going to attract in this get up are perverted ones. (The scariest kind)

Justin Timberlake in his parka. He needs to be warmed up!

Larry King and his wife Shawn. She recently said in an interview that they like to play cowboy in the bedroom. She wears chaps and apparently Larry wears some Indian outfit that drives her wild.
She's not just ANY gold digger.....the girl is good. She deserves all his money when he dies for having to witness him in headdress and a loin cloth...again.....a shiver goes up my spine. YUCK!!

Madonna leaving Paris for London.

Normally, I agree with Whitney Houston when she said,
" CRACK IS WHACK" - but, not in this case. Here's Serena Williams flaunting her bodacious buttocks. She is certainly doing these jeans justice!


Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Jessica Simpson keeps saying she has shed the dumb blonde image yet every picture of her is one of her looking confused or stoned. Plus her lips are getting bigger and bigger lol. Oh and good going Jessica, leaving a hotel with a MAN'S shirt on, lol. Yeh she hasn't shed that image at all...

MJ is so weird... People are still going to recongnize him with or without that whole thing covering him, they just gotta find a skinny man holding his nose surrounded by little boys... lol.

OH MY SERENA GOT BOOT-TAY! =P and WTF is with Da Brat and that horrifying man!?!?!? =O

8:01 PM  
Blogger yllwdaisies said...

David Guest & Da Brat, huh? Well, they said he was gay; I guess he's bi. And she's bi. So, I guess they have that in common.

6:16 PM  

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