Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Thursday, January 26, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 138

Avril Lavigne has signed with Ford Models and wants to land a high-fashion advertising campaign. Lavigne says, "I want to do those really beautiful ads with the high-end products. I look through magazines and stare at ads and think, 'I'm not six feet tall, but I know I can do that.'"

Heck, she's not even five feet tall. You know how you hear about all these gorgeous models who once went through a very "awkward stage?" Yeah, well Avril looks like she's still going through it. There is something about her teeth that repulse me. They need to be filed down or something. Well, I suppose if she can keep her mouth closed her dreams may come true.

Russell Crowe has warned the paparazzi to stay away from his wife, who is three months pregnant with their second child. He claims the paparazzi had an affect on her last pregancy. He explains, "Danni was three weeks early last time; she gave birth just a few days after she was chased down the street by four photographers," said Crowe. "Nobody cares, particularly the photographers. She panicked and slipped and all this sort of stuff. I tell you right now, we can make a public announcement, they will be tarred and feathered if they hassle my pregnant wife again."

This is why I blog from the comfort, warmth and safety of my home. I could never be one of those camera toting fanatics!

Kanye West, with a crown of thorns atop his head, poses as Jesus Christ on the cover of the upcoming issue of Rolling Stone. He also defends his brash attitude inside the magazine. He is also pictured posing as Muhammad Ali.
He is quoted as saying,"In America, they want you to accomplish these great feats, to pull off these David Copperfield-type stunts -You want me to be great, but you don't ever want me to say I'm great?"

Who was the fool that told Kanye he was great?

Britney Spears and Kevin Federline have reportedly called in Kevin's ex-girlfriend, Shar Jackson, to help them with their marriage troubles. Gossip columnist Jamie Foster-Brown, who is famous for breaking news says, "I asked my sources if tabloid reports of Britney and Kevin's split are true. They told me, 'Uh yes, pretty much.' Shar is not officially commenting, but she, Kevin and Britney have talked."

Yeah, I am sure they talked. Things like "What time are you dropping off the kid?" And "What time are you picking up the kid" And "You'd better not be late again you idiot" But, as far as Shar helping them with their marriage? Puh-lease! If she was a relationship expert then her baby's daddy wouldn't of left her for Britney in the first place! (And if you ask me...Britney did her a favor!)
Here is a very recent photo of Kev and Brit just coming back from dinner.

And even more Shar/Kevin/Britney news!! (Gee, to what do we owe this pleasure?) Kevin Federline's ex is sleeping with wife Britney Spears' ex-husband. Shar Jackson and Jason Alexander, (who was married to Britney in Vegas for 55 hours) are said to be an item after they were spotted together.

Again, don't believe this story either. They were spotted together most likely because they were having an all out Federline/Spears bashing session. I mean look how much time I spend bashing them and I am havn't even dated either of them!

Jessica Simpson won't stop pestering Nick Lachey, calling him at least once a day. A source told STAR magazine, "She's the one that wanted the divorce in the first place and now that Nick's finally getting on with his life, she won't leave him alone."
Meanwhile, Nick doesn't seem to share her regrets. "He's not having nearly as hard a time as Jessica, and that tortures her as well." the source said.

Being biased (I'm on team Lachey) I honestly am not surprised. I do think she misses having him around more than she actually misses him. She is lost without him. Everytime she washes her hair and she reads the bottle that says "Rinse, lather, repeat" She gets so confused.....if she does what the bottle says she'll be there ALL day!!! Nick normally explained these things to her.

Actor Chris Penn (brother of Sean) was found dead in his house with no signs of foul play. Chris is known for a dozen movies which he starred including Quentin Tarantino's "Reservoir Dogs","At Close Range" and he also played Willard Hewitt in "Footloose".

I have nothing to say except R.I.P Chris. I don't joke about dead people. Bad Karma.

David Beckham spends a staggering $1,000 a month - on underpants. Why so much? Because he never wears the same pair twice.

I am so thrilled this story came out! I have been looking for an excuse to post a pic of David in his skivvies. (NOT THAT I NEED AN EXCUSE!)
Y'all welcome.

Paris bought a bagful of lingerie at LA MYSTERE which I assume means "Mystery"....WTF is the mystery here? You know she's gonna wear it all to a nightclub - not a private bedroom like you're suppose to. Thus...the mystery.

Nicole Richie either has a new boyfriend or she's giving this guy directions to Paris Hilton's house.

Ashlee Simpson is about to have a wardrobe malfunction.

Here's Pamela Anderson.....wearing that damn white t-shirt again.

Monica Lewinsky hopefully threw that "blue dress" she just wears a blue top. Close....but, no cigar.

Another clip from Pink's new video "STUPID GIRLS" here she's spoofing Jessica Simpson.

And Pink's impression of Mary Kate Olsen....although Pink looks WAY better as Mary Kate than Mary Kate does.

Victoria Beckham(the string bean with blonde hair and big glasses) sits front and centre at a fashion show.

Reese Witherspoon has some mommy alone time for once.

Jodie Foster, her partner and their two kids out and about.

Mariah Carey tries to hurry to her hotel before her jeans split.

Penelope Cruz featured in Spain's VOGUE this month.

Courtney Love looking better these days. As long as her and Kate Moss stay away from each other they should be ok.

Wow...even Tara Reid is sober these days! Is there a vodka shortage in Hollywood?

Preggy Gwen walks her and Gavin's dog.

Preggy Gwyneth makes small talk at an art gallery.

Now people REALLY think J-Lo is preggers because of the horizontal striped MUMU she wore to the Jay Leno show....who coincidentally can also call himself J-Le

And Halle who's made no secret that she wants to get preggers....grabs a coffee on the run.

Cute - Brad, Angelina, her bump, Maddox and Zahara at the airport.

Cuter - Brad and Maddox on the escalator.

Cutest - Angie and beautiful Zahara in her angelic coat. Look at Angie's tummy!

Here's a close up of her tattoo which translated means "He's mine now Bitch."
KIDDING....It actually means "What nourishes me kills me"

The couple went to England where Braddy was seen later on meeting another couple for dinner. Without Angelina. Who was the couple?

The couple was Madonna and her hubby Guy. (Brad starred in Guy's movie "SNATCH") Maybe this means that Braddy's gonna be in another movie soon! Or Madge and Guy may be the kid's godparents? Or - they were all just hungry and ran into each other.



Blogger Bernadette said...

I suspect what K-Fed's ex and Brit's ex were discussing was how lucky they really are not to have been stupid enough to stay married to and marry into either one of those too...

Poor Jessica are much to hard on the poor girl...just put yourself into one of her million does she cope if no one is there to tell her that yes dear that can is tuna...despite saying 'chicken of the sea'...I mean she is 'clinging to her family's every word'...cause she's too dumb to have her own...sorry...let me re claw my nails...


10:20 AM  
Blogger Marisa said...

Thanks again for the update. You are way better than any magazine.

3:33 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Omg I LOVE P!nk's new video! SO FUNNY! She totally pulled it off, and only someone like her could. I hope they all see it and realize how STUPID they look! LOL! =P

With Avril being a model, I don't know if u seem em but she recently did a photoshoot that was very simple and she looked AMAZING and completely different. Her look was very bohemium or w/e. If u haven't seen the pics ask me and I'll send em to you.

With Kanye's whole Rolling Stone thing, he really pisses me off. Trying to be all controversial, please everyone knows what hes doing and nobody cares...

8:16 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home