Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, January 24, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 136

Reports say that Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are set to marry before Valentine's Day in a private ceremony in Malibu.

Private that is except for possibly a couple of wedding crashers like Vince Vaughn and his miserable date.

Jennifer Aniston is said to have moved with actor Vince Vaughn into her plush Malibu home after she deciding its time to move on with her life. She says after her divorce she had a stuggle but, has admitted she found happiness again, according to The Sun.

I doubt this story has any truth to it. Just for the simple fact it claims that Jennifer is moving on with her life. If that's true than Satan is wearing a down filled parka - cuz hell just froze over.

Meanwhile, the sitcom Friends is returning to television this year. Apparently, in a secret meeting before Christmas, Jennifer Aniston, Courteney Cox, Lisa Kudrow, Matt LeBlanc, David Schwimmer and Matthew Perry reportedly agreed to a $5 million a piece deal with NBC.

I hope this is true. Then Jennifer may have a gruelling work schedule and no time to talk to the media. AMEN!!

Jon Bon Jovi insists working in the music business meant it was inevitable he would cheat on his wife Dorothea.
He says: "Rock has this destructive image and there's a lot of hedonism to be had, but it's great. I've had my fun, trust me. "

His wife forgave him so we must not pass judgement. Besides, he's just so damn cute. How can you stay mad at this face?

In the latest issue of Star Magazine, a source says that Britney Spears is having a hard time adjusting to being a full time mom and has turned to food for comfort. The insider reveals:
"She's turned into a human vacuum cleaner the way she keeps gobbling down burgers, ice cream, chicken nuggets and cheetos."

What kills me is that Britney gave birth just months ago and probably is about a size 8. The only reason people harp on about her weight is that pre meeting Kevin she was probably a size 4. I don't think her weight is an issue as much as her need to reintroduce hygiene products into her bathroom cabinet!

Rapper LL Cool J thinks fans will go wild about his new collaboration with Jennifer Lopez. The two had a hit with the 2003 song ALL I HAVE, and now have a new track called "CONTROL MYSELF."
LL said about the song, "It was a lot of fun. Me and J.Lo work really well together. People like the last song we did but, this one is a little more club and a little more cool. J.Lo is dancing in the video. It's wild. I feel real good about that, it's real different for both of us."

"Control Myself" is a good choice for the title considering jealous Marc Anthony is going to flip if J-Lo and LL display the same chemistry they did the last time they collaborated!

More J-Lo news....Reports are circulating that J-lo may be preggers after husband Marc Anthong was seen buying baby clothes and a diaper bag. Apparently he told the sales clerk they were not a gift for someone.

How does this mean she's pregnant? Maybe Marc's into that kinky "baby roleplaying" scene? He cries until Mommy from the Block changes his diaper. Who knows what goes on in some people's playpens. Um, I mean bedrooms.

Joan Collins has revealed how she keeps her 72-year-old body slim. She leaves two thirds of her lunches and dinners when she eats out in the US.
She confessed: "I'm not fanatical, I'm disciplined, and I'll never finish what's on the plate, particularly in America. The waitress always asks me, 'Is everything OK?', because I only eat one third. They give you far too much. Also, I won't eat crap. I won't eat doughnuts and chips."

Joan refuses to supersize only when it comes to food though, most of the men she has dated have been young, buff stallions. (Which is probably the REAL secret to how she stays so slim - CHASING younger men)

Nicole Kidman has reportedly split from Keith Urban. Kidman apparently made the decision fearing that Keith, an alcoholic crack cocaine addict, has not fully reformed. He is said to be devastated by Kidman's decision that comes two weeks after she was publicly wearing her engagement ring.

Oh c'mon Nicole lasted TEN years with Tom Cruise......surely she'd last at least double that with a crack cocaine addict. They are much easier to deal with!

Can you guess who is shopping?

If you guessed Julia Roberts than you are a celebrity whiz or you have a thing for Julia's ass and can recognize it anywhere!

She wore a....itsy bitsy teenie weenie blue polka dot bikini. Fergie from the Black Eyed Peas reminds me of that old song by the Monks "Nice legs, shame about the face" - although she has an incredibly toned body her face is just so masculine looking. To me anyhow.

Britney had a breakdown that was caught on film. No, not the kind of breakdown you were hoping for....her car broke down. Paparazzi swarmed her car within minutes of it happening.

Funny how her car happens to break down the one day she's actually washed her hair? Coincidence? I think not! Maybe she's hired a new agent.

Beyonce sits back while her man Jay-Z gambles a little by 1) playing poker 2) smoking that nasty cigar and 3) making that awful expression

Braddy is still taking those aviator lessons. Not sure who the guy beside him is but, I am willing to bet he's feeling inadequate right now.

Jessica Simpson in a new commercial for PIZZA HUT which will air during this year's SUPERBOWL. Let me guess - when she takes off her name tag that reads "DITZY" she 'accidentally' has a wardrobe misfunction.

Ashlee Simpson looking like she just realized she forgot to put deodorant on.

Hilary Duff performed in Canada.....

As boyfriend Joel Madden is partying in L.A wearing a hat to show where his loyalty lies. The hat reads 'HILARY DUFF'S #1 FAN' - sure he's a fan...he's sleeping with her ain't he?

Halle Berry has been seen around town with Calvin Klein model Gabriel Aubrey. YOU GO HALLE!

Kate Beckinsdale leaves the gym.

Christina Aguilera and her hubby run into FLAVA FLAV and his big clock outside of a restaurant.

If Flava misses Bridgette at all, he can always hook up with another blonde who smokes too much, loves wine and is as nutso as Bridgette.
Yep, I'm thinkin' Courntey Love. Hey, she's fresh out of rehab, looking better and probably could use a Foofie Foofie right about now.

Pamela Anderson leaves a restaurant with an unidentified woman. Pamela looks like she forgot something. Her bra perhaps? In her defense, they don't make em in her size.

Kate Moss with some unidentified folks going to her birthday party last Saturday.

Almost didn't recognize Tara Reid. For one thing, it's daylight and she's dressed, sober and seems to be balancing with ease!

Katie Holme's is double fisting her coffee these days.

Jessica Alba and her boyfriend go golfing.

Brandy and her adorable little girl Syrai.

Teri Hatcher takes a break while filming a commercial to have some licorice. It's really true you are what you eat cuz she's long and twisted.

 maybe they didn't break up. Here's Nicole and Keith.

I thought Jude was the one who had the problem keeping his pants on? Looks like Sienna does as well.

Kobe Bryant, his pregnant wife and their little girl share a joke.

Why is Mariah Carey suddenly hanging out with Naomi Campbell? Mariah's wearing sunglasses - did Naomi punch her out already???

Remember I told you about Drew Barrymore's fashion faux pas at the Golden Globes last week? She was the brunt of a lot of jokes because her braless breasts were swinging low.

Well, you gotta love Drew because she was on Saturday Night Live this weekend poking fun at herself. It was a hilarious sketch and she really is a good sport!

MORE SUNDANCE FILM FESTIVAL PICS....or should I say PARIS HILTON at Sundance photos....
Paris Hilton made love to a piece of fudge to get attention. I suppose one must resort to such antics when they are surrounded by talented people who actually have something intelligent to say or an interesting personality to offer. If her parents weren't proud of her with the last 4 sex tapes then they'll REALLY be so proud now.

Still trying to get attention - Paris clings on to Kelly Osbourne at the sundance after party. I thought Kelly hated Paris??? Maybe she thought it was Ashlee Simpson....but, I think Kelly hates her too.

Then Paris and her boyfriend take the dance floor. She's feeling his head like he has a fever or something which would explain how he could be so DELIRIOUS to still be dating this idiot.



Anonymous Lena said...

Ha,Ha Drew was so funny and i love how she seems to really be able to laugh at herself, and making fun of herself on SNL was not a pr move like lohan and paula abdual

I was at a grocery store today and i saw that star magazine with Britney on it and every single normal looking photo i had seen on the internet had a photoshopped dobule chin on it. The article was even worse, they talked about how britneys family needed to stage an intervention because she was way, way overweight and tipping the scales at 140 lbs. Its sad that teen girls are going to read that and think 140lbs is obese. I agree with you that its her grooming habits that are the real problem.

I think Nicole Kidman is pregnant, i hope she doesn't get a nanny to raise this child full-time too (assuming there is a nanny since i never see picures of her with her 2 adopted children)

WTF is Paris doing at Sundance Film Festival? I thought that was where talented actors go to show their great indie movies. I guess that they decided to lower their standards after they decided to let Aniston open the festival.....

Fergie scares me, i cant believe that just a few years ago she was actually pretty and looked liked a human

12:05 AM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

LOL I saw that skit with Drew on SNL! That was so funny! =P

Flava Flav does scare me a little. Doesn't he get neck problems from wearing all those clocks? lol.

Oh and I do hope "Friends" comes back! I LOVE that show and know every single episode! =P It'd be great to see it come back for another season! =D

Yay for Tara being sober for once!

5:49 AM  

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