Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, January 20, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 134

Paris Hilton's publicists are trying to silence a Hawaiian taxi driver who claims that the heiress urinated in his cab. The driver told the National Enquirer that Paris was too drunk to notice she'd wet herself when he picked her and boyfriend Stavros Niarchos up after a party on Maui.
The disgusted cab driver claims he mopped up the mess with a towel and plans to use Hilton's own Dna as evidence against her.

Is he sure it was pee? I have been suspicious for a while now that she douses her body in BEER to attract all her party boyfriends. Remember when she hung around with Tara Reid for a while? Tara was glued to her.
I don't doubt that Paris would pee herself. Maybe DEPENDS will come out with a new line of diamond encrusted adult diapers.

Kelly Clarkson is refusing to let this year's American Idol contestants perform any of her songs on the show. Simon Cowell has an opinion on the matter. He says, "If she refuses to give songs to be used on the show, it's like saying to every person who voted for you, 'You know what? Thank you. I'm not interested in you anymore.'" For her part, Clarkson's rep said the singer isn't allowing any of her songs to be licensed for other uses and that it isn't personal.

Think about it. Kelly is doing all of us a favor. Her songs are not easy to sing and you just know these talentless idiots are going to butcher them to death.

Kurt Cobain and Courtney Love's daughter Frances Bean is a huge Mariah Carey fan and wants the diva to perform at her 16th birthday party. The 13-year-old says she prefers Ms Carey. to rock music.

I know I poke fun at Mariah now and's just so easy to do so...but, Frances Bean does know a good singing voice when she hears one. As for Mariah performing at Frances' 16th birthday, I wouldn't hold my breath if I were her. Mama Courtney can't afford that.

Eminem re-married his ex-wife Kim last Saturday while his sick mother, Debbie Nelson, stayed in bed, heartbroken that she hadn't been invited to the ceremony. Eminem is determined to create a stable family life for his daughter Hailie and patch things up with his ex, but continues to remain estranged from his mother who is battling lymphoma.

Who's his trailer park mom trying to kid? I saw 8 mile!! She probably had a hangover and that's why she was in bed all day.

Here's a wedding photo just released of Kim and Eminem. I honestly did not recognize her here. She dyed her hair dark and looks completely different.

Angelina Jolie collapsed on the set, according to reports. The pregnant actress is said to have collapsed while trying to keep up a schedule of long hours filming. Apparentl, according to American magazine Star, Angelina’s doctor has put her on a “high risk pregnancy alert” a reason more for Brad to be “worried sick about her” especially that Angelina may be pushing herself too hard.

She's got two little kids, is filming a movie, flying all over the world doing humanitarian work and sleeping with Braddy night after night. Ofcourse she is tired! But, what great reasons to have bags under your eyes!

Oh and according to reports..... Braddy is officially dad to Maddox and Zahara. The adoption has gone through! The children will now be known as Maddox Jolie-Pitt and Zahara Jolie-Pitt.

George Clooney and Teri Hatcher supposedly have been spotted around together, leading MSNBC to ask Clooney's rep just how serious things are. "What is your definition of a date?" replied a spokesman for Georgee. Meanwhile Teri has apparently said: "If I went on a date with George Clooney I would not be talking about it."

Oh sure she would. She talks about everything else that's personal. I thought George was seeing Lucy Liu again? I can't keep up with Georgie Peorgie, he keeps kissing the girls and making them cry.

Jessica Simpson says she thinks her ample curves are absolutely wonderful. She insists she wouldn't do a thing to change her perfect breasts.
She is quoted in Britain's Heat magazine: "I have amazing boobs. They're just perfect."

According to whom? Papa Joe? Her boobs are only to be exceeded by her ego when it comes to size.

A fantastic British photo shoot of Joaquin Phoenix. I think this photo is so cool!

John Travolta can never seem to get enough of his lovely wife Kelly Preston. Definitely my favorite Scientology couple as far as weirdos go - but, really,when you consider the competition it's a given.

Celebrities were out golfing Wednesday in a tournament together. I wonder if Justin needs some help with his stroke?

Mark Wahlberg looks like he's making a hand puppet signal.

Matthew McConnaughy's got some good form.

Braddy taking another pilot lesson.

Reports say this is Star Jones new hair cut. Don't they mean her new wig? I can't believe I am about to say this but, I like it. It would be even better if it covered her face a whole lot more though.

KA-CHING! The baby making machine was seen leaving a cash machine. I am sure everytime he gets cash he's amazed there is any left in the account.

NOT Jessica Simpson's best look.



Blogger Bernadette said...

Jessica looks like Karla Holmolka....the eyes...nothing inside the head look...

8:46 AM  

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