Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, January 18, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 132

Let me start by saying that blogger went down THREE times while I was working on this post. After a lot of time spent recovering photos, using words that normally offend me and almost giving it is...

Paris Hilton and her friends have developed a special language to bail them out of situations when they are stuck in a conversation with people they don't like.
Paris reveals, "My friends and I have code words and phrases that we use when we need help. If I say to them, 'Tiffany is crying!' then they know to jump in. That's one we use a lot. And then we run away."

Here's Paris and Nicky at the Golden Globe after party. The guy they are talking to is making that symbol with his hand. Body language experts will tell you it means, "Get these two blonde whores away from me!"

Former Xena: Warrior Princess star Lucy Lawless is planning a singing career after performing for fans at a West Hollywood gay club. Lucy agreed to go onstage after a dance song she recorded on a whim, Come To Me, became a hit in gay clubs, Now she wants to do more.
Lawless says, "It was one of the wildest rock 'n' roll experiences of my life."

Wilder than her daily exploits with her sidekick Gabrielle? I doubt it.

More trouble with Jude and Sienna....according to The Mirror a source told them: "Jude decided he didn't want to spend more time arguing and hanging around waiting for Sienna to finish filming. He'd much rather spend time with his kids. Sienna is also pretty fed up with Jude's possessiveness. They both realize it isn't really working at the moment because of mutual distrust."

Ofcourse he would rather spend time with his kids. That way he can always keep his eye on whomever the nanny is...

Victoria Beckham took to the catwalk today during Milan's men's fashion week, wearing a white silk gown and gold stilettos for Roberto Cavalli. After the show, Victoria was asked to give her recipe for the best outfit to seduce a man.
"The ideal clothes to seduce a man are simple but sexy - high heels, tight jeans and a tight t-shirt," she said

I suppose she would know after all I am starting to believe she really is a man! Oh and it's very fitting that Victoria walks the runway during MEN'S fashion week. I mean the guys behind her have bigger hips than she does in this photo!

Goldie Hawn has her secrets to staying svelte to Closer magazine. She says it's lots of sex and vegetable juice. Pertaining to her active love life she said, "I am very turned on by Kurt and he thinks I'm a racehorse. And when you've got a racehorse, you've got to run it. He makes me feel sexy, which does a lot for cell rejuvenation!"
She also says she drinks green juice everyday. The juice includes celery, parsley, kale, peppers, and carrot juice.

What is this veggie juice? Truth serum? I mean do we really need to know about Goldie's sexual exploits? She may be a racehorse to her boyfriend but, I wouldn't be placing any bets on her for anything ....

Tommy Lee has been romantically linked to adult film newcomer Stefani Morgan. They met at the Adult Video News Award after-party at a hotel casino in Las Vegas. A friend of the young porn star tells gossip site, "They've been seeing a lot of each other ever since."

Shouldn't this story read that newcomer Stefani Morgan is linked to a porn star? I am sure Tommy's movie has sold way more than this amatuer chick will. I give this relationship 32 minutes by the way.....yes that's including time for them to have sex.

Marcia Cross admits she is like her 'Desperate Housewives' character Bree in real life. She says although she isn't as neurotic as Bree, she identifies with the character's overpowering need to put on a good show.
She said: "I'm actually fairly low key and casual. But yes, I identify with her need to present a good front all the time. I think all women are taught from a young age to fit into this box."

What good front? That her engagement is a big sham and she is really gay? Or a good front meaning that her dress is pressed to perfection and her shoes aren't scuffed?

After the failure of her marriage to her Newlyweds co-star Nick Lachey you'd have thought Jessica Simpson would have had enough of reality TV shows. Turns out that isn't the case at all. Jessica has been asked to front her own show about her new life as a single woman.
She said, "I like the idea as it could be empowering to women to show that life goes on after a marriage. It's something I plan to make a success of in 2006."

This has got to be one of Papa Joe's ideas! The show's premise will most likely feature Jessica wandering around her neighbourhood in her Daisy Dukes playing the helpless female and trying to get stupid males to do chores or household fixes for her. What else could it possibly be about?

Liz Hurley loves white jeans and she practically lives in them since having her son Damian because although they are white she doesn't have to worry about her son staining them.
She explains, "I remember people laughing and telling me that I'd have to get rid of them when Damian was born but I carried on wearing them because baby sick is white and it doesn't show on white trousers!"

So does she wear brown coduroys when little Damian has diarrhea?

Madonna banned her daughter from auditioning to be in the next 'Harry Potter' film. Lourdes, 9, was desperate to join hundreds of other girls who tried out for the role of Luna Lovegood in new movie 'Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix' - Book 5. Maddona would not allow her to go as she wants her daughter to wait until she is older to decide what she wants to do with her future.

Madonna probably tried auditioning for the part of Moaning Myrtle until she found out it wasn't THAT kind of movie....

A Lowdown spy reports that Bobby Brown and wife Whitney Houston may be heading for a divorce. A few weeks ago, Bobby was spotted chatting up pretty women backstage . Some other people witnessed his flirting and asked, 'What's up with your wife?'
Bobby said, 'We ain't together no more. We're getting a divorce,' " says the spy.

Half the time these two don't even know what day it is....never mind who they are married to...

Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie's baby scan picture is up for sale on eBay.
The three-month ultrasound image recently appeared on the internet auction site and there have already been over 50 bids for the unusual item.

No, I am not one of the bidders.....Still waiting for the honeymoon video...

Kiera Knightley looks shocked that her photo is being taken.

Sarah Jessica Parker's hair style is giving me a headache. How many bobby pins did that "Marge Simpson" look require?

One of my faves...Sandra Oh looking thrilled to be out of the house.

Queen Latifah looks great in this really nice shade of blue.

Scarlet Johansson, the celebrity who's breasts seem to be in the news every week is looking perky. Show off!

My girl Pamela Anderson looks elegant. Like a high class call girl. Seriously though, I think she looks so pretty like this as opposed to her usual "my top is 4 sizes too small for me but, I am going to wear it anyhow cuz I spent a lot of cash on these boobs" look.

Renee Zellweger picks a black dress. Why a 90lb women feels the need to wear a slimming shade is beyond me. Maybe she is mourning the fact that she didn't win any awards this time around.

Reese Witherspoon is adorable. Cute as a button.

Natalie Portman's hair is coming back. May the force be with her.

Jessica Alba is stunning in this dark blue gown....then again she would be stunning in a pale off green garbage bag.

Marcia Cross I find looks very pale in this dress. She should of gone with a green or purple....both colors she looks gorgeous in!

Pregnant Gwyneth seemed to be glowing but, at a second glance it was simply that she was wearing WAY too much blush. Who did her makeup? Tammy Faye Baker?

This is the closest Mariah Carey will ever get to dressing like a nun. She was there to present but, acted like she was nominated for 25 awards and won them all. I was embarassed for her when she came out to present and actually paused before speaking so that the audience could applaud futher and give her a standing didn't happen.

Anne Hathaway looks much better with her hair down. I do like the cut of the dress on the top. No comment on the bottom.

Kate Beckinsdale has some weird looking cleavage...nice dress though....for a bride.

Charlize Theron always looks good even in this strange geometric cocktail dress that only she could pull off. Love her shoes.

Mary Kate's handlers finally got together and threw her in the bathtub, gave her a scrubdown and put some decent clothes on her! And she didn't even win anything. Wow, imagine if she's ever actually nominated? She may scrape the dirt out from between her nails.

I love Drew Barrymore but, she needs to understand that if your breasts are more than an A cup than you need to wear a bra. They are not just pretty boobie decorations.....Drew will never win a best supporting actress at this rate.

Ziyi Zhang is stunning in this lime green dress that is making me hungry because it looks like sherbet.

Now....on to a few good men...
Johnny Depp is so gorgeous even when he doesn't try so you can imagine he was extra hot.

And some red carpet shots of Wentworth Miller. No offense to Joaquin Phoenix but, I am sure most of the inmates at FOLSOM prison would of rather had Wentworth come there to sing...even if he can't sing at all.

More Wentworth with Sarah Wayne Callies. This is the doctor from Prison Break but, this photo looks NOTHING like her.

Felicity Huffman and hubby William H Macy share a moment. She won best actress for her portrayal of a transsexual in "TRANSAMERICA"

Ryan Phillippe looks lovingly at his wife Reese with pride. Or maybe he had too much champagne. She won best actress in a musical/comedy for WALK THE LINE.

More Ryan and Reese making out!

Seal and Heidi Klum on the red carpet.

Jamie Foxx flirts with Eva Longoria. I thought he said he liked women with some junk in the trunk? She has no junk nevermind no trunk. Eva's boyfriend Tony Parker was no where in sight and these two were hanging out all night...... Now I ain't saying she's a gold digger...

Josh Duhamel from the show VEGAS and his insecure girlfriend Fergie who seems to be sticking to him like a bad batch of crazy glue...


Reese and Joaquin won for WALK THE LINE.

Anna Kournikova finally detaches herself from boyfriend Enrique Iglesias's mouth long enough to do a photo shoot. Or she's just peeing in the pool. Hard to tell the difference.

Madonna leaves a Pilates class. Why is she always photographed leaving yoga, pilates, stretch class....with the amount of money she has why doesn't she have her own studio and instructor at home? LOVE her argyle sweater.

Now this is ironic. Nicole Richie getting groceries. Hmm. Let's see what we have. A case of coke. A year supply of jell-o. Some lettuce and 30 boxes of laxatives. That explains a lot.

If Jared Leto and Lindsay Lohan aren't sneaking around why were they seen "Sneaking" out the back door of a restaurant yesterday?

Braddy and Angelina went out for dinner with the cast and crew of her new movie "The Good Shepherd". Brad looks so sad and bored.

Then a lookalike of me walked in and he got excited and happy.


Anonymous Anonymous said...

i love wat mariah carey is wearin she look very nice and classic..u go my no.1 diva

1:22 PM  
Anonymous Lauren said...

Isn't that Kevin Connolly in that picture with Nicky and Paris? I think he's dating Nicky. He could do better!

1:46 PM  
Blogger hot lips said...

It is very unfortunate how much Liz Hurley's kid looks like his dad.

3:42 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

LOL so typical of Mariah, hahaha. Your comment on the very last picture was so funny!

I'm so happy Reese won, I've always liked her. Also Pam Anderson looked so good, so classy. Its nice to see her in something as said not 4 inches that can barely fit her, lol. Cept the top of her dress was a bit weird, lol.

4:15 PM  
Anonymous celebmonger said...

Yes, Hurley's kid is nasty looking and appropriately named DAMIAN...that IS kevin connolly..And Mariah looks way better with her clothes on.

12:33 AM  

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