Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, January 17, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 131

According to In Touch Magazine, Nicole Richie's parents are worried about their daughter's tiny frame. Apparently her mom has been cooking and delivering meals to her daughter. Nicole's father, Lionel has even hired a food coach.

Suddenly her parents are concerned? Where were they 50lbs ago? Nicole doesn't need a coach or meals delivered! Coaches help you do something you want to in the first place and delivered meals will just end up in the garbage or worse the toilet. What Nicole needs is a building with a big H on it....stat!

Meanwhile, Nicole's best friend Mischa Barton has made a New Year's Resolution to start gaining weight to add some curves to her rail thin body. She also wants to stop smoking which she knows will help. A source said,
"Mischa wants to give up cigarettes because of the health issues, but also because she knows it will improve her figure. She's convinced she can stop smoking and get a little curvier, too, if she puts her mind to it."

All she needs to do to instantly look curvier is stand beside Nicole Richie all the time. Oh wait...she already does that.

According to a source, Denise Richard's finally left Charlie Sheen because of his gambling problems. The last straw was on Christmas Day.
The source explained, "Instead of being relaxed and fun, it felt uncomfortable as soon as Charlie arrived. He was tense and kept ducking out to talk on his cell phone. Denise told one friend that Charlie was placing bets and talking about betting with his cronies. Denise even accused him of talking to other women over the phone."

Charlie has a gambling and women problem? NO! The shock of it all.

Felicity Huffman had a hard time finding a realistic fake penis for her latest role. The 'Desperate Housewives' actress needed the prop to play a transsexual in her new movie 'Transamerica'.
She said: "We were on our second day of shooting, trying on some undergarments, when I realised something was missing."I had to visit loads of sex shops before I found a realistic looking flaccid penis."

Doesn't Felicity work with Eva Longoria the vibrator queen? Felicity should of raided Eva's dressing room. Apparently she's got tons of them.

George Lopez has apologized for embarrassing Jessica Simpson at the People's Choice Awards last week. George had poked fun at Jessica's marriage split with Nick Lachey at the event, when he said, "The producers wanted to apologize to Nick Lachey, who could not be here because they didn't need any more seat-fillers," before presenting an award. After that the cameras fixed on Simpson as she squirmed in her seat between her parents. Her daddy and manager Joe has since blasted the comic for his insensitivity. Since that George Lopez sent Simpson a huge bouquet of flowers on Friday to apologize for his remarks, according to the singer's father.

Jessica won't even know who the flowers are from. She'll probably tell her dad "Wow, daddy you'll never guess who sent me flowers - I think she may want to do a duet with me! That's right daddy! G-Lo sent me flowers! I gotta go work out and make my butt fatter for when we do our video. Bye daddy!"

Tom Cruise has given his pregnant fiancee Katie Holmes a unique 27th birthday present. Katie received a DVD collection of every movie Tom has ever been in. Tom decided there was no better gift for his wife-to-be than a full history of his long and fruitful career. A source tells British newspaper the Daily Express, "Each was inscribed with a special handwritten love message to the future mother of his child."

What an idiotic thing to do. Especially if you consider that he has done so many movies with his ex's Nicole Kidman and Mimi Rogers. Yeah, great idea give your pregnant fiance movies showing you half naked and getting in on with ex-lovers. Not to mention the excrutiating pain of Katie having to sit through EYES WIDE SHUT. That's just cruel.

Rose Byrne or Thandie Newton are the next rumored names to be the next Bond girl in the to be released movie CASINO ROYALE. The new James Bond Daniel Craig was said to be was impressed by Thandie's screen test, in which she had to enact a raunchy bedroom scene with the British actor.

Wondering who these gals are? Thandie has been in Mission Impossible II and most recently Crash. Rose was the lucky duck who played opposite Brad Pitt in Troy.
At this point they aren't ever going to cast a bond girl. Everyone keeps turning down the role. Maybe it's be a Bond boy this time....James Bond visits Brokeback Mountain.

Lindsay Lohan and Sean Lennon have been spotted enjoying an intimate dinner according to reports in the Daily Mirror. Then they headed off to meet Lindsay's mum at a club afterwards. Lindsay is to star in the film Chapter 27, which is about John Lennon's murder so the meeting could have been for research purposes.

Lindsay Lohan to be Sean's Yoko Ono? I doubt it. Lindsay sings way better than Yoko does...but, then again EVERYBODY does!

MEMOIRS OF A GEISHA star Ziyi Zhangs's method of learning English were very unconventional. She says she picked up the language by listening to and repeating obscene Eminem lyrics.
She explains, "It was television commercials and Eminem. I loved to watch the commercials because they pronounce their words so clearly. I don't always know what Eminem is talking about, so I write down the lyrics and repeat them. Later, I understood how rude they were."

I just can't picture this innocent looking woman repeating over and over, "The way you move it, I can't believe it...I ain't ever seen an ass like that."
Although, I am sure the new words she learned came in real handy when she was driving on the freeway!

Speaking of Eminem, his grandmother Betty has blasted her grandson for remarrying his ex-wife Kim. She fumes, "Boy, has he made a big mistake. No pre-nup or nothing. She'll take everything and leave. Kim is a nasty, mean woman.We've never been anything but nice to her but she's turned him against us. I think she's very controlling."

WTF is grandma going on about? Kim can't be all that bad - afterall Eminem married her twice. She is probably a decent person. She even looks so nice in these mugshots. Surely a real criminal wouldn't smile would they?

Brad and Angelina are reportedly planning to call their unborn baby William if it's a boy. The baby is supposedly due in May and the famous couple are said to have decided to name the tot in Pitt's family tradition. The actor was originally named William Bradley Pitt after his own dad.

William? How normal and boring. Especially in comparison to Maddox and Zahara. I was expecting something more dramatic....but, I suppose when these two are your parents that's about as flashy as you can get. Does this mean they know it's a boy already?

The Spice Girls are reportedly planning to get back together. "The original plan was just one gig, but everybody got more and more excited and the project grew and grew," an industry insider told the News of the World. "There is talk but the dates are yet to be finalised. Geri is pregnant, so she has to sit out rehearsals for now but, she has been planning new outfits for the girls and new ideas for the show."

Didn't the Spice Girls already make a comeback as the Pussy Cat Dolls?

Adrienne Curry, the first America's Next Top about Tyra Banks. In the February issue of Playboy magazine, Adrienne comments, "She's really mean. She's Dr. Jekyll, Mr. Hyde. She can be the sweetest person in the world, but once that camera is off, she's Naomi Campbell, in your face."

I agree with this..Tyra strikes me as being a major bee-atch even when she's smiling. Her talk show sucks and she'll never be Oprah much less Jerry Springer. I liked her much better when she strutted down the catwalk...because her mouth was closed.

Britney Spears took her son Sean Preston to the Malibu Hindu Temple yesterday for a traditional Hindu ritual where people smear dye on each other's foreheads . Britney happily received the divine eye, aka tikka (a sacred symbol to show that the person has been to worship), on her forehead during the religious ceremony. The tikka also symbolizes that she is married and given blessings and good wishes for marital bliss

And I thought Kevin shot her in the head or she had an accident at Bingo when I saw this photo. Baby Sean looks frickin' terrified here or full of gas...not sure which. I guess Britney has given up Kabbalah now? Geez, these celebrities switch religions like they switch partners.

And just because I thought this was interesting in a strange way...According to Glamour magazine. Pamela Anderson calls her boobs: "Bert and Ernie" (Boy those are huge muppets!)

Jennifer Love Hewitt calls hers: "Thelma & Louise"
(Ooh, good call! That means one of them gets to sleep with Brad Pitt!)

Jennifer Garner calls hers: "Biscuits" (I bet Ben Affleck's nickname is Cookie Monster)

More Britney and baby Sean. Now he's bawling. He wants out of the temple NOW. Oh and great to see Britney got dressed up nice out of respect to the Hindu people.

Here's Britney's papazao getting in the car. I bet those Hindu people also appreciated that she didn't even bother with underwear. Seriously in India, they would of shot her for this wouldn't they? That red ink would of been blood.

Christina Aguilera looking glamourous and casual all at the same time and she's not even going to a Hindu temple.

Jessica Alba gets her hair did.

Paris Hilton wearing a floor length dress and fur stole to go grocery shopping??? She's gotta be stoned and has the munchies. How else do you explain it?

Mama Hilton- Kathy parties with her daughter Nicky. Now I know where Paris gets it from. Kathy is acting like she's on spring break and showing as much as those college girls do. Ew...put your utters away!

Eva Longoria seems to be sizing up the gas pump. I really don't want to know why....

Workers at a wax museum thought they'd have some fun with Brad Pitt. Can I have this for my room when they're all done with it?

Katie Holmes is clearly not thinking. The woman finally has a moment alone without her creepy counterpart and she decides to go and get a coffee. Shouldn't she be at the airport with a new identity, phony passport, big sunglasses and a plan to run far far far Away?

Carmen Electra looks cute as she finishes eating lunch.

Here is Terrance Howard arriving to the pre-party. He is a beautiful man.

I have two words for Val Kilmer. SUN SCREEN.

Natalie Portman's hair is growing back. She was at the party too.

Piper Perabo and Juliette Lewis were at the party too. Not sure why since none of them have done any movies lately. I guess is Paris Hilton gets invited everywhere than these two deserve a break.

Courtney Love is looking better these days and she was at the party too. Any one wanna place bets I'll have a photo of her laying legs up backwards in the GOLDEN GLOBE cake in tomorrow's blog?

I'll have GOLDEN GLOBE photos from the actual event tomorrow. I am watching it right now. Fantastic fun!
Til tomorrow....


Anonymous celebmonger said...

The Hilton family all make me sick. Money doesn't buy dignity that's for sure.

11:34 AM  
Blogger TangentArifa said...

Tom giving Katie all his dvds? That is just insane. No more funny quips needed....

12:12 PM  
Blogger Nadia said...

Linda you kill me. That last pic and comment about Katie Holmes was just hilarious..did you include the words "far away" knowing that it is the title of a TOM CRUISE movie...him and Nicole were in it I believe.

8:36 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Oh yay its official the whole Hilton family are sluts! What a grea thing to be proud of! ;)

Lol Sean Preston looks so fat and confused and Britney looks gross as usual... God FIX YOUR HAIR! I'LL EVEN COMB YOUR HAIR FOR YOU FOR FREE! GEEZ BRIT! =P

9:05 PM  

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