Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, January 11, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's volume 126

Nick Lachey blames his wife's way of thinking for their marriage breakdown. He says he believes that women and men have very different thought processes. He says, "Women argue in ways that aren't rational to men." Nick has also found that buying clothes a size too big for his ex didn't help their marriage, adding, "They don't take kindly to that."

It must of been a bottom. No woman I know would mind getting a top that was too big just for the fact that someone thought her chest could fill it up. Nick should of just told Jessica that the L didn't stand for Large but, instead for Lovely. She would of bought that...the idiot.

And speaking of Nick...he's wasting no time. He is already searching for a new woman and knows exactly what he wants. Nick gushed that Jessica Alba is the hottest woman he's ever seen.
He told Elle Magazine,"'Jessica Alba's beautiful. So is Eva Mendes. And I don't want someone who's been to bed with too many guys....I'm all for 10 (sexual partners) and under. " He also wants her to love sports and respect his music.

Respect his music? He's pushing it with that last request. Here's Jessica Alba. They'd make a cute couple except for the fact she already has a hot boyfriend. If they did get together, Nick wouldn't have to worry about screaming out the wrong name......

Jake Gyllenhaal described to Britain's EMPIRE Magazine what it was like to kiss Heath Ledger in 'Brokeback Mountain'. Jake said that making out with Heath in the gay cowboy movie was like giving his face a good scrub.
He told Britain's Empire magazine: "When we kissed it felt like we were exfoliating."

Is Jake sure he was acting? Not many straight men use big girlie words like ex-fol-i-a-ting.

Scarlett Johansson had to ask her 'Match Point' co-star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers to stop looking at her breasts during sex scenes. He recently told the TV show 'Unscripted', "I remember Scarlett telling me not to look at her t**s. And I was trying to be a gentleman and sort of asking for a glimpse."

Can you still cry sexual harassment even though you are filming a sex scene?

Halle Berry reportedly saved two dogs in a single afternoon this past Friday. One short-backed Pomeranian puppy was spared while crossing a busy street as Halle halted to a stop while driving in her white Range Rover. She then sought out the dog's owner at a nearby house where she then discovered another dog behind some bushes. Halle Berry saves the day once again and pulls the second dog out of harm's way.

Ofcourse the second dog was hiding in the bushes....He recognized Halle from Catwoman. Poor thing must of been scared to death...

Kirstie Alley says that Scientology didn't help her to diet. The actress lost 50lbs with the help of weight-loss expert Jenny Craig, despite Scientology's claims to hold the answer to dieting.
Kirstie used the religion's techniques to kick a cocaine habit long ago and admits she couldn't apply the same principles to her food addiction.
She says, "It was different in that I developed a nutty attitude where I'd think, 'If some guy really loves me, he doesn't care if I'm fat. I'd come up with all these stupid justifications and reasons why it would be okay to be fat."

Ok, but the guy really shouldn't care if you're fat if he loves you. Let's get that straight right now. Unless of course you are obese and about to have a heart attack...that is completely different. I wonder how long before Tom Cruise hears about this. Look out.

In a statement released to Teen People magazine, Lindsay Lohan has denied ever having bulimia as reported in the latest Vanity Fair. Lindsay said, "The words that I gave to the writer for Vanity Fair were misused and misconstrued, and I'm appalled with the way it was done."
Vanity Fair, in a statement of its own, stood by its story.
"Evgenia Peretz is one of our most reliable reporters," the magazine said. "Every word Lindsay Lohan told her is on tape. Vanity Fair stands by the story."

Notice how she denies the bulimia but, doesn't say anything about the drug abuse. Vanity Fair is a highly reputable Magazine. They ain't no Enquirer....if they say they have it on tape, they have it on tape. Lindsay was probably stoned and doesn't remember.

Nicolas Cage credits his failed marriages with giving him the courage to marry a woman 20 years his junior. Nicolas 42, tied the knot with waitress Alice Kim, 22 after five-months after realizing he had found true love for the first time in his life. He was married to Lisa Marie Presley for just 107 days in 2002 and aso to Patricia Arquette after six years together.
He says, "I feel like a new man. I've been involved in terrible relationships before where I was a lot closer in age to the women I was with and look what happened. So it's not a question of age."

No, it's not about age. It's about an American Citizenship and some money.

Mathew Broderick has admitted he had a crush on Uma Thurman while filming 'The Producers'.
Mathew who is married to 'Sex and the City's Sarah Jessica Parker tells what it was like to work with Uma.
He said, "I found her mesmerising and hilariously funny. She's absolutely gorgeous."We worked together for weeks, she was so dedicated and just a pleasure to be around and I think she did a beautiful job."

Uh oh. I sense a Aniston(Sarah Jessica) and Jolie (Uma) blog coming on....

J.K. Rowling has confirmed that she has written a new, non-Harry Potter based children's book. In an interview for Tatler magazine, the author revealed that she had already completed a project of her own that she had yet to show to publishers. It is what Rowling describes as a "political fairy story" about a monster.

What's it's about? George Bush and his magical terrorist finding powers? They should send him back to Hogwarts school because apparently his wand is broken. Osama Bin Hiding's still out there.

Colin Farrell sex tape is for sale on the web. The video alleged to feature Colin Farrell and Playboy bunny Nicole Narain can be yours for a mere $14.99 (American funds)

Personally, I'd rather watch THE GOLDEN GIRLS reruns.

Mr. Blackwell's 46th Annual Worst Dressed List with my snide comments to follow in brackets....
1. Britney Spears (that style icon? I'm shocked!)
2. Mary Kate Olsen (bag lady fashion ain't in)
3. Jessica Simpson (ok, we get it..they're real, now put them away)
4. Eva Longoria (i guess when you are a double size zero you can only wear toddler dresses)
5. Mariah Carey (worst dressed? she's not even dressed half the time!)
6. Paris Hilton (after a while all her clothes look the curtains)
7. Anna Nicole Smith (she has to dress like a stripper - when you take a 52ggg cup the only clothes you can find are stripper clothes)
8. Shakira (I dig her clothes)
9. Lindsay Lohan (she either looks fantastic or....not so much)
10. Renee Zellweger (she looks good when she has to and that's what counts right?)
Here they are..who do you think is the WORST dresser of 2005? Let us know!

Britney goes shopping again but, this time she made an effort. I guess she heard about coming in first place....

A couple nights ago...still in Vegas. Britney parties at the ALADDIN hotel and stops in the bathroom to take a shot with some fans. (Please tell me this time she is wearing shoes)

Cher needs some water. Is her finally final farewell tour finally over yet?

Avril Lavigne in a BAZAAR Magazine photo shoot. I swear she is Nicole Kidman's love child or illegitimate half sister.

She looks really nice in these pictures. Maybe she's going glam from now on?

Mark Whalberg on the beach with Rhea Dhurman who is pregnant with their second child. How adorable is this?

Rumors have been flying for weeks now that Steve Martin is dating Kristin Davis (Ex Charlotte Sex and the City) and they both denied it. Well, turns out he is dating a woman who looks A LOT like Kristin...she's a writer for the New York Post

Lindsay Lohan goes out with her little sister...

Mira Sorvino with her daughter Matteas...she is also preggers with another one!

Mariah dons some pigtails and hooker shoes while out with one of her bodyguards. Hey..she must of fired her "drink handler" - she's holding her own cup.

Angelina and Brad have baby drama, Jessica wants Nick back (Now that I believe..she probably tried to change a light bulb and panicked without him), Kevin told Britney she is fat and Lindsay admits to being a druggie and bulimic..Save yourself the money and tune in here! Sure, some of my stories are stupid too but, at least they are free...except for your employer who is paying you to read them during work time.

This also in the mag....Heather Locklear and Denise Richards go out partying on New Years without their husbands. OH...The scandal!

Here's Sienna Miller on the set of her new movie having some lunch, a phone call and a little crack......

Nicole Richie hangs out with Steve - O from "Jackass"
She used to hang out with Paris remember...she is used to jackasses.

Oh and speaking of thought you wouldn't have to see her she is.


Gone!!!! She's leaving a club last night completely hammered while her sister Nicky looks on and just laughs. Paris needs to get a job.



Anonymous Anonymous said...

well i hope Jake Gyllenhaal is gay..hehe :P def ganna go watch that movie jst to c that im gay..if u didnt already guess lol

11:59 AM  
Blogger Dawn said...

My vote for worst dressed would be Mischa Burton or Chloe Sivogny, or however her name is spelled. I think we need to start a donation collection to buy those girls some mirrors so they can check themselves over before going out in public.

I love that you are giving me the scoop from the US weekly. :) Why does Jessica want Nick back? And what's this about Britney being too fat? Tell more! Tell more!

1:50 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Anonymous....if I ever get to meet Jake because miraculously I get discovered by some lowly tabloid who wants me to fly to L.A and write for them...I'll hook you up..promise. I wouldn't hold my breath though if I were you.

Dawn..Yes Chloe is an awful dresser. Good call. Rumor has it Kevin calls Brit fat ass and stuff like that since she had the baby. Being the classy guy that he is....

8:22 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

ur so right about nic Cage and 'Green Card', I think Nic is a retard after marrying a Presley and an Arquette

8:43 PM  
Anonymous joe said...

'Chelsea's Mama'...awww thnx for ur site u shld make ur own magazine..i def wld buy it hehe :P... (im anonymous btw..the 1st one about the Jake comment hopein hes gay hehe :P)

1:23 PM  
Blogger yllwdaisies said...

Oh my! This whole post had me cracking up. Trying not to laugh to hard though, b/c I'm sick, and it hurts to laugh.

But I really needed a pick-me-up, so THANKS!

5:00 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home