CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, January 03, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 120

Alyssa Milano is leery of getting more laser hair removal in 2006 because she admits the treatment is the most painful experience she's ever had. Although she is eager to permanently get rid of unwanted hair, she wonders if the pain is worth it.
She says, "I'd rather get my whole body tattooed daily than do the laser. I've had two sessions, and I can honestly say that it's the most painful experience ever."

If she thinks that is painful than I suppose it's safe to assume Alyssa has never given birth, passed a kidney stone, bitten her tongue by accident while eating, gone dancing all night in a pair of brand new cheap stilhettos or sat through a movie with Jennifer Aniston in it.













Gwyneth Paltrow and husband Chris Martin are said to have bought birthing pools for their homes in London and New York. Gwyneth who is due to give birth in May, is said to have planned an underwater delivery when she had Apple but, changed her mind at the last minute.

Just like I am sure she will with this one. Birthing naturally is a great idea until the contractions kick in. Anyhow, Gwyneth strikes me as a wussy. I bet she's never had laser hair removal.







Bosses on Sienna Miller's new film have banned her boyfriend Jude Law from visiting the set. Sienna plays Andy Warhol's heroin addict girlfriend Edie Sedgwick in the movie Factory Girl.
An insider told the Daily Mirror: "There has already been so much attention put on this film because of Sienna's involvement. The producers want her to concentrate on her acting not spending time working on her relationship with Jude.

At least until the film actually comes out, then producers love it when the stars are in the news so it brings extra attention to the film. There must be another reason they don't want Jude around. Maybe the producer has a great nanny on the set that he doesn't want distracted.












Patrick Swayze wants to release a rap single. He once had a massive hit in 1987 and now he's working on a new tune which will show that "rap rhythms are an emotional undercurrent for ballads." Swayze is no stranger to keepin' it real - he starred in Ja Rule's video for "Reign" - but didn't have a "timeline" for when his foray into hip-hop would be released.

Oh Lord help us. What's this rap song called? Yo, she's like the wind. Bitch?












Black Eyed Peas singer Fergie claims she was inspired to be a singer by the musical 'Annie'.
She says she knew she wanted to be a star after she was taken to a production of the famous stage show as a child by her mum.
She said: "I saw 'Annie' and that was it. My mum got me the album and I used to copy the singers. "

Annie was an orphan not a streetwalker but, hey, I am sure the men will by lining up to be her Daddy Warbucks.













Kate Moss appears to have confirmed rumours that she has dumped Pete Doherty after being spotted with a new love interest. Kate was seen "kissing and cuddling" a 20-year-old on the ski slopes of Aspen last week.Little is known about her new beau except that he is British and has long hair and piercings.

Oooh, with a 20 year old?? Kate is only 29 for Pete's sake. If she were a man this would SO not be an issue. Then again, if she were a man she wouldn't be a supermodel making millions and probably never would of had a coke problem thus, we never would of heard of her. Ken Moss...who the heck is that??













Jennifer Aniston has some tips on the key to true happiness.
She said: "Simple things make me happy... A sunset... Being with my friends... A bottle of wine and nice cheese makes me happy."

Aw. You know what makes Brad Pitt happy? Angelina Jolie.










Courteney Cox has a phobia of telephones. The former 'Friends' beauty has confessed she hates speaking on the phone except when driving her car. She admitted: "I hate talking on the phone. I just hate it."The only time I like talking on the phone is when I'm in my car. I don't like to sit down to speak."

So she drives standing up? Everyone off the sidewalk!!! Hey, if I was Courteney I'd be afraid to answer the phone too. Remember who her best friend is.












California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger introduced a new paparazzi law. According to the news, Arnold passed a new year bill restricting hardcore photographers from harming the public. The bill, which became law on 1 January, makes anyone who commits assault in an attempt to get a photograph/video recording to pay triple damages and give up profits from the photograph.

What kind of law is that? What about my blog? Kidding... if I was a celebrity I would want such a law passed also. It'll be interesting to see what the law considers "hardcore".....stay tuned.









According to STAR magazine, Lindsay Lohan is shacking up with Oscar contender Joaquin Pheonix.
A friend of Pheonix's says that he's just "blowing off steam" with Lindsay, but apparently things are gettin' hot: "Both stars are renting bungalows at L.A.'s luxe Chateau Marmont and sources say their steamy romance has been taking place behind those bungalow doors!"

I don't believe this for 2 reasons. 1 - STAR magazine is a fancier looking version of the ENQUIRER and 2 - Lindsay is photographed every 5 minutes - she seems to be everywhere. I don't know about you but, if I was hot and heavy with Joaquin I'd be too busy WALKING THE LINE from his bellybutton to his chest to be going anywhere.













Even MORE Lindsay news....(see what I mean?) The star was admitted to a Miami hospital Monday night after suffering a severe asthma attack. She is now "resting comfortably," a source close to the actress tells People Magazine.

That's a shame....right after New Years too. An asthma attack on it's own can be scary but, an an attack AND a hangover??? My heart goes out to you Lindsay. Get well soon.













Apparenlty while Paris Hilton was dating Paris Latsis (remember him? Greek shipping heir number one) It seems Paris claimed that his ex girlfriend Zeta Graff, attacked her at a club during the summer in July 2005. Zeta then sued her for 10 million for slander. A source close to the case said Hilton admitted lying about the whole thing.
Page Six reported that Zeta said, "Hilton will learn a valuable lesson about what happens when you try to ruin another person's reputation. She made a number of false statements about me, and she repeatedly lied under oath during her recent deposition. I look forward to her explaining all of this to a jury."

Zeta's only suing for 10 million? Doesn't Paris drop more on a pair of shoes and an outfit to go to the dentist?













Matthew McConaughey has gone and broken his collarbone. He was surfing off a Costa Rican coast with girlfriend Penelope Cruz over Christmas when he took a tumble.
"It's really easy to break your collarbone while surfing, but at least he's got Penelope there to look after him," says a source.

Didn't Madonna break her collarbone with that horse her husband bought her for her bday? Wait a minute....did Penelope give Matthew the surfboard fro Christmas? Coincidence? Maybe...but, if Guy Richie and Penelope Cruz are dating in a month don't say I didn't tell you so.













Kirstie Alley wants men to shed their underwear in 2006 because she loves to find nothing underneath a lover's jeans. Kirstie is sexing up her life again after shedding almost half her weight in 2005 and she's fussy about the men she wants in her bedroom.
She explains, "I think that V line below their stomach is just really beautiful and sexy, and I think that when you unzip their jeans you should see that and not a pair of white underwear."

I am willing to bet Kirstie wouldn't mind the underwear one bit if they were edible ones.












This month's issue of Cosmopolitan says that ample buttocks are all the rage. So much so that women are stuffing their pants with gel inserts to make their butts look bigger. They also mention Jessica Simpson gel-padded her cheeks to fill out her Daisy Dukes for Dukes of Hazzard.

If Jessica did use gel pads for her Daisy Dukes shorts, they weren't very helpful. You be the judge. I put two other photos to compare and it seems her butt is small and flat so it's possible this is true.
I personally have never, will never, shall never need gel anythings to plump up my stuff. I got so much junk in my trunk I'm thinking of having a garage sale....but, hey, at least it's ALL mine.













OUT AND ABOUT....
Wow...it's Angelina and it's looking like the pregnancy rumors are true. Unless of course that's Brad's head under her shirt.













Guess who the lady in white (I use the term lady loosely) is who's doing shots with the boys?










For once it's not Tara Reid. Yup, that was Mariah Carey at the rockin' New Year after party.













Ellen DeGeneres and her girlfriend Portia go for a stroll.













Scarlett Johansson and Jake Gyllenhaal hang out at a movie premiere. Scarlett usually hangs out a little more but, this dress is demure.













Jessica Alba and her boyfriend at the beach.













Billy Joel and his latest wife at the beach also.













Justin Timberlake and Cameron Diaz go snowboarding. He looks like an army guy on steroids.











Kevin Federline gets off his duff and goes grocery shopping. Ruffles chips aren't the best choice for a growing baby but, hey, at least he didn't spend the money on weed.













I thought it was Mary Kate but, it's actually Kirsten Dunst who just became a redhead again.













Christina Aguilera and her hubby enjoyed their New Years together.











Lindsay Lohan and her mom celebrated too. You can see where Lindsay gets her smoldering trailer park looks from.













Paris partied with her sister Nicky and also Paris's boyfriend Stavros. They had a problem with him getting into a few parties though because he is only 19. Isn't Lindsay only 19? How come she gets in everywhere? Oh, right, she sleeps with the doormen in advance.













Mischa Barton's boyfriend Cisco Adler literally kisses her ass. It's like a remake of the Jenny from the Block video...only worse.










And here's Pamela Anderson who I hope never sits beside me at a pool party.













Star Jones can sit beside me anytime she wants...pool parties included. She cannot however sit on me...like she is doing to her husband. No wonder he's gay.











Renee Zellweger chats up a fine young man on the beach during her holidays.









And what would any beach party theme be without the party girl herself.....TARA REID. A drunk blonde with huge knockers....it's so weird how she's always surrounded by college boys.













And finally....the newest HOLLYWOOD movie coming soon to a theatre near you....Lindsay Lohan and friends Nicole Richie, Jessica Simpson and Hilary Duff in LEAN GIRLS.











CUZ I SAID SO!!!

2 Comments:

Blogger Dill said...

i've had laser hair removal and it hurts bad... I've had 3 c-sections and i think they hurt less... but it is soooooooo worth it. I never have to shave my legs... its wonderfulllllll dill

11:08 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

LOL I love the movie poster for "Lean Girls"!

Looks like everyone was getting all drunk and slutty (Tara Reid) for New Years! Also with the new Celebrity Papparazi Law, shouldn't a better word than "Hardcore" be used? lol.

12:38 AM  

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