Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Monday, December 26, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 114

Back from a great holiday! Hope you all had a fantastic time also. Now, back to business. Let's see what the stars were up to the last couple of days....
Christina Aguilera who recently married Jordan Bratman has reportedly said that it’s now time to drop her raunchy image and turn to more suitable one for a married woman.

If this means she's going to start wearing black cotton tights, going to BINGO and complaining about her husband to anyone who'll listen --- I prefer her raunchy image.

Renee Zellweger gave Kenny Chesney a gift most people only dream about. A marriage annullment. The couple’s annulment was finalized with court papers filed in Los Angeles Superior Court. Renee filed for the annulment on September 14, just four months after their beachside wedding in the Virgin Islands.

Victoria Beckham got a gift from her hubby that didn't fit under the tree this year. Loving husband David splashed out on the ultimate girl gift for his wife: a chocolate fountain.

That's great and all but, what is someone as skeletal as Victoria going to do with a chocolate fountain? Bathe in it? Glare at her own reflection in it for hours? Maybe he's hoping she'll drown in it. Suddenly, I think it's a great gift!

Jennifer Aniston has shrugged off suggestions the past year has been the worst of her life, insisting she wouldn't have changed events for anything.
She says, "It's been the best of times and it's been the worst of times. It's been difficult, but in many ways it's been great, too. I feel I've grown a lot as a human being throughout the course of it. It's been a year to remember, alright but, I wouldn't change it. I wouldn't trade it in for anything."

At this point I am begging for these two to get back together and I'm on team Jolie. ANYTHING TO GET HER TO SHUT UP!!!!!

Gwyneth Paltrow admits she married Chris Martin because he reminded her of her late father Bruce. After her father's sudden death in 2002, Gwyneth never forgot what her close friend Madonna told her.
She recalls, "Madonna said to me that I once told her that I wasn't ready to pick the right person because I wasn't ready to replace my father as the main man in my life. It's true. I feel like I was never really with anybody who was a real contender."
But Paltrow knew she'd found her future husband when she met Martin, because he was so similar to her late father. She explains, "He's got the same blue eyes and curly hair and the long, long muscles."

Curly hair? Last time I checked Chris Martin's hair looked straight. Sounds like Gwyneth's been dipping into the champagne WAY before New Year's again.

Scarlett Johansson was left with bleeding lips after her latest co-star Jonathan Rhys-Meyers kissed her too hard. The two worked together in the movie 'Match Point'.
She said: "We were really rammed together and he cut my lip. He sent roses the next day to make up for it. He was so sweet. It damn hurt though, I deserved my flowers."

I bet the roses had lots of pricks on them.

Mike Myers and his wife, Robin Ruzan, are ending their 12-year marriage, a spokeswoman said Friday.
This was really unexpected. Wow. They remain good friends though.....that's what they all say until they start talking money.

Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross is hunting for the perfect wedding venue and she knows exactly what she wants. She is planning on having a Saturday wedding to fiance Tom Mahoney in the summer of 2006 but, admits she has yet to find the perfect location to exchange vows.
She says, "I want elegant, warm and spacious, I don't want it to be too crowded. I want lots of candlelight, pretty lighting and beautiful flowers."

Bree would of had the seating plan done, the bridal registry completed and made the cake herself by now.....get a move on Marcia!!!!

Jessica Simpson wants the judge assigned to her divorce case removed. In legal papers filed in Los Angeles on Wednesday, Jessica requested judge Michael Lindfield be replaced because she believes he's biased.

In other words Jessica is terrified Nick will get half of her fortune. Then what will she do? Collagen is expensive you know!

Sharon Osbourne had a long wish list this Christmas and was asking Ozzy her husband to give her a lavish, customized boat. She said, "My dream present is a yacht with a helicopter pad and a swimming pool, a silver Gulfstream jet and a new Bentley. Lovely."
Sharon admitted that she only bought her hubby a watch.

How generous of Sharon to buy Ozzy a watch. With his own money.

Beyonce Knowles decided to give away her new perfume True Star Gold to her loved ones this Christmas.
I know it's the thought that counts normally but, seriously she must have truckloads of this stuff she got for free. Then again, maybe she wasn't being cheap but, practical. Maybe her family stinks??

Rumor has it that Tom and Katie may have wed this weekend. Their publicists are denying it, but according to those infamous "sources", the couple were having breakfast at a restaurant where a regular customer happened to be celebrating her birthday. The restaurant staff was kind enough to send a coffee and some cake over to the patron to celebrate her day. Later on, Tom and Katie stopped by her table to personally wish her happy birthday. She thanked them and asked them what they were doing in the Caymans and Tom replied, “We got married but don’t tell anyone…shhhhh!”

I doubt this story is true although I do believe the part about Tom having secrets. Except they would be more like "I'm gay but, don't tell anyone....shhhhhhh!!!"

San Antonio Spurs player Tony Parker was cited for impeding traffic and failing to produce a valid driver's license during a traffic stop. The incident happened Saturday and Tony was with girlfriend Eva Longoria when this took place. After seeing a car stopped, a bicycle officer said it was impeding traffic. When the car didn't move, the officer rapped the hood with the palm of his hand, according to a police report.
Parker, who was behind the wheel, questioned why the officer touched the car and the couple "began screaming in a verbally abusive and demeaning manner," police said. Police say Parker then began to drive away, almost hitting a man standing nearby. After being told to stop and get out, Parker showed a French driver's license, police said.
The officer who wrote the citations said Parker complained: "This is all the cops do, just mess with people," and that Longoria shouted from the car: "He's just a Mexican bike cop. He only wants your autograph."
Longoria denied making the comment and also denied that the couple was verbally abusive in any way to the officer.

True or not you never argue with a cop. I don't care what the situation is. Smile, be agreeable and always have a box of Krispy Kremes handy in your car. Ticket? What ticket?

Lucy Liu and George Clooney have reportedly rekindled their romance. For one night anyhow. The two used to date a while back and were seen last week. After a romantic dinner, the two made out in his limo. A witness said: "She looked like she was going to devour him."

Lucy had her cake and ate it too!

Lo and behold daddy Federline went to pick up his other kids for the holidays. All those kids and he doesn't know how to hold one yet??

Cameron Diaz apparently treated herself to a diamond ring for the holidays. She spent thousands on it and told the clerk at the shop it was a gift for herself. Boy, that Justin's a cheap bastard.

Meanwhile Ashley Olsen treated herself to a big fat cappucino.

First official photo of Rod Stewart, Penny Lancaster and their son Alistair. It's either a Christmas card or a Thank You card to the makers of Viagra....who made it all possible.

Denise Richards bought a new pair of shoes on the morning of Christmas Eve.

Although Jessie Metcalf's shirt says it all....die hard fans still want to get close to the gardener from Desperate Housewives.

Drew Barrymore and boyfriend Fabrizio went shopping for the holidays. I hope he bought her new boots. Those UGGS are UGLY..and so like 2 winters ago.

Kate Hudson went xmas shopping with hubby Chris Robinson who looks like he'd rather be home with a joint and bag of nachos.

Lindsay Lohan at the Knicks game with her little brother. Wow, Miracles really do come true at Christmas! She's EATING.

Kid sister Jamie-Lynn Spears looks thrilled to be arriving at the airport in order to spend Christmas with sister Britney. Cheer up Jamie-Lynn, your brother in law Kevin will be drunk by the second course at dinner and passed out by dessert.

Mariah Carey celebrates her 17th number one hit celebration by dressing like a 17 year old. Why should today be any different from the rest?

Brad Pitt went out just before the holidays and took a flying lesson. Angelina already has her pilot license and now Braddy's working on getting his.
Just wondering...will JP (Jolie-Pitt) Airlines require a stewardess? Someone to plump up the pillows perhaps? Hand out roasted cashews? Serve martinis? Cuddle the pilots???

Olivia Newton-John takes her doggie and her daughter for a walk. Maybe it's just a bad shot of her but, the daughter looks like she has a too big ego and a too small sweater.

Nick Lachey hung out with some friends on Christmas Eve while Jessica probably sat on her daddy's knee opening movie scripts.

The Hilton family went to Hawaii for the holidays (the poor things) Here's Paris and sister Nicky at a beach.

Paris also spent time with Stavros who either cut his hair or Paris pulled it all off while she was riding him like a bronco.

With a last name like Hilton you'd think she could GET A ROOM! I think these outbursts of affection are more for the media than for her man.

Ricky Martin who has been denying gay rumors for years spent his holiday frolicking on the beach with a "friend". You'd think he would of spent it with his longtime girlfriend but, funny enough she is nowhere to be seen. I don't care if Ricky is gay or not gay...just wondering where all those kids he recently adopted are?

Ricky seems to be having a blast while his "friend" seems to have a creeping speedo problem.

Yep, sure....straight men do things like this all the time.

Gwen Stefani and hubby Gavin relax on Miami Beach where they were just before the holidays.

Country singer Keith Urban and girlfriend Nicole Kidman spent the holidays together. At first glance I thought Nicole was Brigette Neilson but, Keith has no resemblance whatsoever to "Foofie Foofie Flava". Now if he starting wearing a viking helmut and a big clock around his neck these two could have a hit show soon!



Blogger Celebrity Rant said...

If it weren't for Sharon, Ozzy would be broke and dead. She pulled him up from the gutter.

I liked Christina better when she's dirrrty.

Cannot stand Jennifer Aniston! Would she please shut up and go away!

11:44 AM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Ok, you got me on Sharon , I do love that crazy red head...who is now a blonde actually.
I am so sick of Jennifer Aniston also.

1:21 PM  
Blogger hot lips said...

Wait a minute. Is Jessie Metcalf holding hands with that dumb Jessica from Laguna Beach???!!!???

Could it be?

9:58 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Gwen Stefani looks so good as always! I want her to have the baby soon so she can release her 2nd solo album already! =P

About Christina's whole image thing, shes already been kinda doing that already. Ever since she stopped promoting "Stripped" shes really cleaned up her image. I'm just excited that shes releasing her new album this year. Shes releasing it in Spring, rumored to be April 3rd! =D But I do like her better when shes Dirrty, I love the whole controversial image, really HOT!

Wow 17 #1 hits for Mariah! I think "We Belong Together" was #16, so her newest one must of gone to #1! Congratz to her although does she really have to act like its her 17th Birthday instead, lol she looks ridiculous! =P

11:17 PM  

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