CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, December 23, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's volume 113

According to Life & Style Weekly, Angelina Jolie is pregnant. They claim they are 99% sure due to various sources on the set of her movie "THE GOOD SHEPHERD". They say when she returned to the set in early December, after a two-month break, none of her costumes fit over Angelina's suspicious stomach bump. Her wardrobe had to be refitted to give her extra room in the tummy area and several dresses had to be altered. Sources also revealed that Angelina almost fainted several times and had to rest.

Now that they mention it, she has been looking a little drained lately.... I just thought it was all that sex she's been having.













Gwen Stefani announced her pregnancy at a concert in Florida last night by encouraging fans to sing along to her hit "Crash". She yelled, "I want you to say it loud enough so the baby hears it."

50,000 people singing off tune cannot be good for a fetus. By the way, I won't be surprised one bit if the baby comes out asian. I knew Gwen was getting too close to those Harijuka girls.











Jessica Simpson is the latest on the Bond girl list after Charlize Theron, Angelina Jolie , Scarlett Johansson and now Sienna Miller have turned the role down. Jessica now is the first choice to play female lead Vesper Lynd in the new film "CASINO ROYALE."

You know why all these sexy starlets are bowing out right? My name is Linda and my maiden name is Vespera. So really, this bond girl is virtually me. None of these stars could do me justice...except maybe Angelina. They are wise to turn it down. It's a tough name to live up to!
Now that I think about it, Jessica could very well play this role. We all know how she left Nick. Shaken - not stirred.













Even bigger news for Jessica...she may make an appearance on "DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES." MSN reports an insider as saying, "There's talk of her being on an episode or two."

Only two episodes huh? That means they are killing her off. They can't have her around anyhow. Wysteria Lane already has their token blonde, slutty, maneater......Edie.










Jennifer Aniston sent her thanks to Jessica Simpson for "taking all media attention away from her". Jennifer's split from Brad Pitt had the focus of the media up until Jessica split up with Nick recently.

Yeah, that's until Jennifer manages to bring the focus back on herself.













More Jennifer Aniston news (but, ofcourse) . She has now announced that she wants to become a mother "within the next year".
She said, "I hope to be on the road to having a family in the next year. I've said this before and I desperately don't want to repeat myself, but, I just like being in a partnership."

Just like she was going to get pregnant right after Friends was over. Then for sure she would have a baby right after her next movie. Then oh wait, one more movie to do. And people wonder why Brad finally left her. And I must say for someone who hates the attention she sure likes sharing her most intimate secrets with a room full of press. Go ahead, get pregnant, see if we care. Even better....go do it in Greece. When is she leaving already?????






Mary-Kate Olsen revealed why she loves to wear big coats and jackets......so she can secretly wear pyjamas in public.
She says, "I love getting amazing jackets because you can wear your pyjamas underneath and everyone's like, 'Oh, fabulous jacket,' and I'm like, 'You should see what's underneath!'"

On a good day her street clothes are dirty, tattered and torn. I shudder to think what state her pajamas are in. They probably have brown stains and reak of urine.














Remember I told you yesterday Elton John called Madonna a "miserable cow" after she did not attend his bachelor party? Madonna's has responded by having her spokesperson tell PageSix.com, "Madonna wishes Elton all the best and hopes married life will make him a happier person."

I thought Elton was happy? Isn't he always described as gay?









More Madonna......her anniversary plan to get away with hubby Guy Ritchie was thwarted yesterday because her private jet developed technical problems. The two had planned to return to the castle in Scotland where they were married 5 years ago. Madonna was due to be joined by friends including actress Gwyneth Paltrow for the anniversary celebrations.

Hmm...first Gwyneth gets in a minor accident with her hubby now Madonna's plane magically won't start. I think Madonna is even sick of Gwyneth's whining!










According to The Sun, Mariah Carey recently received a gift of eight fur coats from a Russian businessman. Animal lover Mariah was definitely not impressed. She sent the pelts straight to anti-cruelty campaigners Peta.

She probably didn't want the coats because they covered her body up too much or weren't short enough.











Even more Mariah....she says she is sick of her bad reputation, insisting she deserves more respect for her achievements in music.
She told reporters, "It's kind of difficult for people to see me as this diva and then to also realise that I do write my own songs and produce the records. Quite frankly, it's much easier for men to get credit than women, particularly since I am not sitting behind a piano or a guitar. My voice is my instrument."

Excuse us Mariah. We thought you played an actual instrument. You sure like to come across as though you are a master at handling organs......











Michael Jackson's ex-wife Debbie Rowe has filed papers accusing him of abducting their two children. Debbie has also filed for custody of Paris and Prince Michael and requested that the Michael, who is currently residing in Bahrain, return the kids to the United States.

So, why all of a sudden is mommy dearest concerning herself with the kids? Apparently Michael had been paying her a nice fee every year but, stopped the payments last year. He cut her off for allegedly violating their confidentiality agreement. This woman is a CASH COW in every sense of the word. Even if she gets her kids back they'll be crying for Michael asking "Daddy, who's this strange lady???" Now, that's gotta SPEAK VOLUMES.













Pamela Anderson thinks Malibu, California has the best police department ever when it comes to dealing with the pesky paparrazzi.
She says, "I have a great relationship with the local police. They have helped remove and even deport people who are causing problems. The police are a huge presence at our schools and kids' sporting events. I wish no one bought tabloids, then these fools would be out of work. Laws will pass eventually. Anybody that comes to Malibu with bad intentions will ultimately suffer the consequences."


Ooh, I'm sure the police love Pamela. I'm sure there's some sadistic cops and robber fantasy involved also.













Scarlett Johansson thinks monogamy is unnatural in Hollywood.
She explains, "I don't think human beings are monogamous by nature. Its hard for actors to date each other because they are so damn moody. You are away from people constantly and having a relationship that is strictly by phone, it is miserable. "

Well, dressing like this may make it hard to be faithful.














The Digital Spy is reporting that Paris Hilton adopted two new chihuahua puppies during her recent visit to Tokyo. Their names? Tokyo Blue and Harajuku Bitch. May I remind you that Paris was recently named the Worst Dressed Celebrity by PETA and the worst dog owner by The Hollywood Dog .

DOGS ARE NOT ACCESSORIES!!!! Holy crap. PETA should skin Paris alive.














50 Cent lets his nine-year-old son play violent video games and even found him looking at porn on the Internet. The rapper also lets his child watch R-rated movies because he doesn't want to be an over protective parent.
Fifty said: "My son is nine years old and I play my video game with him.

Gee, I am sure I speak for everyone when I say I can't wait until twenty five cent or whatever his kid's name is....grows up and is a fine citizen in our society.











OUT AND ABOUT...
Jessica Simpson tries to hide behind a Loretta Lynn cd. We can still see your big ass lips honey!













Kim Cattrell who played Samantha on "SEX AND THE CITY." At a book signing for another one of her sex books. You mean all this time she wasn't acting????













Zhang Ziyi of "Memoirs of a Geisha" looks lovely in TOWN AND COUNTRY magazine.













Victoria Beckham en route to Elton John's wedding yesterday. Before you try and strain your eyeballs - that's not David. It's some other poor soul.










Victoria does her routine checks to ensure she looks ok. Lee press on nail still in place? Check. Implants still there? Check. Tally ho then off to the wedding we go.















Sharon Osbourne, also on route to the wedding makes sure her implants are tucked away safely and periodically ensures Ozzy is still breathing.













The Simpsons go Christmas shopping. Mama, Jessica and Ashlee. Papa Joe's probably banned from the mall for asking the 15 year old counter girl at Burger King if she wanted to see his pickle.










I have lost all faith in P.E.T.A (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals). First they ignore Paris and her dog posse and now this ....I just want to save that poor pooch from Whitney!










The promo ad for AMERICAN IDOL 5 coming to a tv near you in January.













Michael Douglas, wife Catherine Zeta-Jones and the kids are skiing in Aspen for the holidays.













Mariah Carey is also in Aspen. Does she have a 13 year old niece? It looks like she borrowed her clothes for the trip.













Carmen Electra at the airport.














Here are some Christmas cards from the celebs...or their body parts. As in this case with Tara Reid. Her breasts wish you the best for the season.








Little Maddox sends his greetings.









Nick Lachey wants you all to know he's doing well. Better than well.








Kate Moss still dreaming of a white Christmas.








Demi Moore's girls Rumor, Scout and Tallulah wish you well.








Madonna tells is like it is.













Have a Scientology christmas. Let the aliens light a beam to your Christmas tree.








SEASONS GREETINGS TO ALL OF YOU!!! HAVE A GREAT HOLIDAY, EAT, (unlike Nicole Richie) DRINK (but, not like Tara Reid) and be merry.......The holidays are a time for love, peace and joy.
And presents.
LOTS AND LOTS of presents.(Kidding...unless my hubby happens to be reading)
Have a good one!
CUZ I SAID SO!!!

1 Comments:

Blogger Nadia said...

All the best to you too Linda - and that guy in the car with Victoria Beckham is apparently her HAIRDRESSER who was with her all through Elton and David's party, touching up her hair throughout the night. I am not kidding...

Merry Christmas and Happy Festivus!

Nadia

8:49 AM  

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