CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Saturday, December 17, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 108

Jessica Simpson has filed for divorce from Nick Lachey according to PEOPLE magazine. She has cited "irreconcilable differences" and requested that her last name be officially changed back to Simpson. She also asked that the court not award spousal support.

I bet she's kicking herself for not signing that pre-nup that Nick originally wanted her to. You know...when he was famous and she wasn't.









Ashlee Simpson has been hospitalized in Japan after collapsing from exhaustion. She is currently in Tokyo to promote her album I Am Me, which debuted at No. 1 on the Billboard Album chart in October. She collapsed Thursday following a performance on MTV Japan and was taken to an area hospital by ambulance. For the past two months, Ashlee has been promoting the album at various radio stations and TV shows.

Oh get a grip Ashlee. You're only 21 !! Madonna is 47 and she's been promoting her album all over the world! If Ashlee spent more time doing "downward dogs" than harassing people who make minimum wage at McDonalds, maybe she'd be able to finish a concert tour. Karma's a bitch ain't it?













Tom Cruise is standing firm behind his controversial comments about September 11 rescue workers coming off their post-trauma medications when he visited New York City firefighters on Wednesday night. The movie star has been blasted by firefighters suffering the effects of smoke inhalation from the World Trade Center terrorist attacks after urging them to give up their medication as part of a 'purification rundown' favored by his Church of Scientology cult.

What exactly does Tom prescribe these firemen take? Vitamins? Which one exactly? The dino or the pebbles?













Some rumor flying around the net says Prince William has gotten some girl from Seattle pregnant. Apparently, he arranged for this girl who is supposedly 2 months pregnant to be flown to London for some type of treatment. This unidentified girl is spotting blood, but so far the fetus is ok.

I know. It's freaking bizarre and hopefully not true. Think about it. If this girl lives in Seattle, why fly her to London, England when she is bleeding?? What a stupid story. Don't worry Diana, my princess, no need to roll over.













Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek really want to be bridesmaids at Sir Elton John's wedding to David Furnish on Wednesday. Cruz and Hayek were among dozens of celebrities who begged the singer and his Canadian partner for a role in their same-sex civil partnership ceremony in Windsor, England.
Furnish says, "Penelope Cruz and Salma Hayek (asked). I kid you not. At the Cannes Film Festival they both stopped me and asked if they could be bridesmaids."

Now, usually gay men love to be surrounded by beautiful women even though they aren't attracted to them sexually... it's more of been seen with a "stylish, pretty gal pal" type of thing. I am sure Elton and his partner would love to take Salma and Penelope dancing at a gay bar....but, to have them stand beside them on their wedding day? No way man. Elton is way too much of a queen to have the spotlight taken away from him on his wedding day....











In fact....I am sure he already has chosen the PERFECT bridesmaid.













Gwyneth Paltrow and Chris Martin have jetted off to an ancient Sri Lankan castle to celebrate their second wedding anniversary. The couple, who are reportedly expecting their second child, left toddler Apple with family and friends, so they could enjoy a romantic winter getaway.

Gwyneth left Apple alone? Wow. What if she gets bruised? Or even worse.......cobbled?
I don't think this is such a good idea.













Renee Zellweger and Kenny Chesney have been spotted enjoying each other's company at out-of-the-way restaurants report the pair look like they are still together. One witness, who saw the couple at intimate Italian restaurant says, "They just kept looking at each other... They were cuddling during their meal."

Obviously this story ain't true. Renee does not eat.











Kate Moss has another Hollywood buddy. Jack Osbourne. The two were seen shopping together. The two stopped and had ice cream. The two joked around and Jack was seen putting shoving a cone into Kate's mouth.

Suddenly everyone wants to be Kate Moss's friend. They want to be there when she breaks down and calls her dealer. She knows where to get the good stuff!











Britney Spears has hired Madonna's writers and producers in an attempt to reinvent her pop career. It seems she is impressed with the sound of Madonna's new album Confessions On A Dancefloor. Britney is desperate to re-brand herself as a more sophisticated pop singer on her return to the charts next year. A close source says, "After hearing Confessions Britney immediately decided she wanted to return to the pop sound that made her a huge star in the beginning."

So we should expect to see Britney in a purple leotards anyday now. You've been warned.













Simon Cowell is having problems with his longtime girlfriend, TV presenter Terri Seymour. She admits she's getting more and more frustrated with Simon because she's fifth on his list of loves behind "work, work, his mum, work."

Simon says LEAVE HIM!







Jennifer Aniston, who was recently photographed topless by paparrazzi, feels like now she has nothing to hide.
She explains, "There's nothing embarrassing about anything anymore. I'll tell you, at this point, there's such a freedom in a weird way. You can just say, 'here I am. This is it'. "It was like I was saying earlier today, 'Well, I might as well pull my pants down at this point, since they've seen everything else."

Seriously people, when is she going to Greece?










Paris Hilton was named the year's worst-dressed celebrity by the animal rights group. People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (P.E.T.A) chose Hilton because they feel she is "clueless about animals". Also on the list were Kimberly Stewart, Lisa Gastineau, Victoria Gotti and Tara Reid.

I agree about Paris but, where was Jennifer Lopez on this list? P Diddy? Jay-Z? Beyonce? And all those other fur wearing celebrities?
Here's Paris who just got TWO more dogs. She needs another dog like she needs another Greek tycoon heir boyfriend.













Wentworth Miller who plays the dreamy Scofield on "PRISON BREAK" was recently interviewed by TV GUIDE MAGAZINE.
He said, "This has been the biggest year of my professional life. I get to play ball with incredible character actors. When you're sharing screen time with Robert Knepper, Wade Williams or Peter Stormare, you're just along for the ride. I remember watching Law & Order and thinking that Sam Waterston served up amazing work episode after episode. I told my representation to forget about feature films....if I can get on a series, how satisfying will that be? You're working with people you admire and you're on every week being appreciated. It's like winning the lottery. One in a million."

Oh honey, we now how satisfying it is....trust us.














OUT AND ABOUT
Madame Tussaud's wax gallery puts on a theme every year for Christmas. This year they are attempting to be funny I suppose with the theme they have chosen.
Here's Angelina Jolie as the Wicked Stepmother, Brad Pitt as Prince Charming & Jennifer Aniston as Snow White.

Snow White my ass. She puts on the sweet, innocent me act one minute and then in the next breath she wants to take her pants off and show the world her ass. How is Angelina the wicked stepmother when she's the one adopting orphans from all over the world??? I'm confused. Notice I am not arguing the fact that Braddy is Prince Charming. Indeed he is.










Speaking of Braddy, I found this on a funny website. It is someone's idea of what a Christmas card from Brad and Angelina might look like in the year 2018.
Brad still looks hot fat and balding. Ok, well luke warm.










My favorite tennis star Serena Williams steps out. My what big.....earrings she has.













Victoria Beckham goes to pick up one of her sons from school. She better not stand sideways, he won't be able to find her....or she may get mistaken for one of the boys from his private school and get sent to detention!












Why, who is this hiding her face? Could it be?













Yep. The normally "LOOK AT ME" Paris does not want to be seen coming out of a nightclub with her sister Nicky. Did she tell her boyfriend she had to stay home and wash her extensions or something?












Baby's got back....but, it ain't Jennifer Lopez.....













Nope, it's not me either...(but, I think I could give her a run for her money) This is Vida Guerra who is from Cuba originally. An ex-boyfriend of hers sent a photo of her to a men's magazine because of a contest. The magazine published a photo of her and several thousand letters were sent to the editor asking "Who's that girl?" and the rest is history. She has become a household name. (Well in my house anyhow) She is to buttocks what Pamela Anderson is to breasts.













Nicole Richie deals with her breakup in the old fashion way. SHOPPING! With the O.C's Mischa Barton.













Charlie Sheen really has changed! A hot blonde in a bikini beside him and he's more interested in a book? Oh...wait...the hot blonde's his wife...and isn't that book upside down?










Julianne Moore and her two kids. This would make a great CLAIROL ad. Lovely shade of red.













Tom Cruise holds back Katie's hair as she blows out her candles on her 27th birthday yesterday. Or is he? If you look really closely he's actually inserting a micro chip with a tracking device under her left earlobe.













This is Luke Wilson. This is also why I SO prefer his brother Owen....broken nose and all. Yikes, Luke ain't looking so good.














The ad for Growing Up Gawdy...um Gotti. There is more hair gel in this photo than there is in all of Italy.













I love the Gilmore Girls!!!












Lauren Graham who plays Lorelei Gilmore who also has the same initials as me (on both counts)..and who a few people have told me I resemble...which I don't see but, it's not a bad thing.....she just signed up for a new movie called............ready for it.. "BECAUSE I SAID SO"...my blog is called CUZ I SAID SO.
It's like we were separated at birth. Except she got to go live in Los Angelos with a rich, stable family.









CUZ I SAID SO!!!!

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