CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, December 16, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 107

Keira Knightley is feeling insecure again. She recently made this comment to Britain's Hot Star's Magazine, "I hate my body. I like so many other people's bodies. I like legs a good pair of legs on someone else always makes me jealous"
The actress who is only 20 years old says she is planning to have plastic surgery when she is 25. "I know my looks won't last forever. In five years time I will probably be having Botox, face-lifts, nose jobs and false hair!"

I hate to burst your bubble Kiera....but, you are gorgeous.....then again that's why you say these stupid things.....cuz you want to hear it.













Salma Hayek who dated Edward Norton and then had a romance with Josh Lucas, admits she's getting to know herself much better now she has no romantic ties.
She says, "I was in a four-year relationship, then went into another four-year relationship. Then I dated someone for a year. I'm single now for the first time in a decade, and it's wonderful to find out who I am when I'm not someone's girlfriend."

Oh I'm sure EVERYBODY'S happy that Salma's back on the market!













Eva Longoria upset Michael Douglas on the set of new movie The Sentinel. You see The Desperate Housewives actress, Douglas and co-star Kiefer Sutherland decided to find out who is the best shot and Longoria, who used to hunt on her family's Texas ranch, won.
She says, "Everybody thought Kiefer would come in first but I did. Michael was mad. He was like, 'Why am I third?'"

Ofcourse Eva came in first, they used a picture of Teri Hatcher as target practice.










Harry Connick Jr. says he was mesmerized by Jennifer Lopez's shapely bottom. He says when he met her,he couldn't look away when he laid eyes on her behind.
He says, "I am telling you, when you see her from the back ... It's like eating too much pecan pie. Everything slows down and you can't respond to people."

Usually when I eat too much pecan pie I just wanna go to sleep. ...or eat some more.













The National Enquirer has issued an apology to "Desperate Housewives" star Teri Hatcher for printing a story that never took place. Teri has been alleged to have had sex sessions in the camper van that sits in her driveway, while her young daughter Emerson played alone yards away in the family home. Teri plans to sue the British publication that first ran the story. But, Enquirer editors have decided to print an apology in the new issue of the tabloid. They also have named the freelance journalist who sold them the alleged interview.
In a printed statement, the publication's bosses claim, "We withdraw and retract the statements in that article. In particular, Ms. Hatcher has never engaged in sexual relations with men in a van parked on her property, nor does she leave her child alone in her house while having sex in her van"

In every interview Teri is in she complains that she has not had sex for years. She is probably mad that the van's not rocking.......













Nicole Richie is finding it hard to cope after fiance Adam Goldstein broke up with her because "it was just something that he knew he had to do," said a friend of Nicole's. The split was unexpected and the day of the break-up, Goldstein and Richie were "still making plans together for trips and business ventures. It really did come right out of left field for Nicole." Richie is said to be devastated and very hurt.

Here they are this week. Apparently, they are still "friends."











Some friend Adam is.....later he was seen with this unidentified girl. Hey, at least this girl eats! I don't care what anyone says...men don't want to sleep next to a bony ass.













Jennifer Aniston is terrified of getting in her car in Los Angelos. She says she's horrified when she looks in her rear-view mirror and sees gangs of ruthless paparazzi trying to track her down.
She reveals: "They're just so reckless. If I drive really slowly and watch what's happening behind me, these men are driving on sidewalks, they're cutting through intersections. It's very weird. Now they are hiring gang members. It's a whole new breed. There's this whole new photo agency that's been started. and they are basically hiring retired gangsters."

Hasn't she gone to Greece yet? What's the hold up? Does she need help packing? Cuz...I'll do it.










Denise Richards revealed she has the same thing for breakfast every morning. Chocolate. That's right, the actress who is slim after weeks of giving birth to her second daughter, Lola, insists she has it every morning with her coffee. "When you're working 16 hours straight, three meals a day doesn't cut it," she says.

That's a typical Hollywood diet these days isn't it? Chocolate for breakfast. Chocolate EXLAX that is.











Madonna's daughter Lourdes is embarassed of her. Madonna explains, "My daughter is critical. Sometimes she totally disapproves of what I wear. She doesn't want me to look too strange. If I pick her up from school she instructs me to dress normally. She goes: 'Why can't you just be like normal mothers?'"

I can't imagine why Madonna's daughter would be mortified...













Howard Stern thinks Angelina Jolie will break up soon with Brad Pitt, because Howard believes that
Brad is "a bore." The radio personality says of the couple, "They belong together. They're the two best-looking people on the planet. They should be mating. But, she probably wants to get rid of this guy. I bet he's a bore after you sleep with him a couple of times."

Wouldn't Howard like to know?













Victoria Beckham is fed up with fifty-year-old actress Ana Obregon. Apparently, Ana is obsessed with David Beckham, Victoria's gorgeous husband. The Beckhams checked into a Madrid Hotel while they were looking for a house, so did Ana. Then she was spotted at the same restaurant as David and often manages to find herself at the same Spanish bars. Until now, Victoria has always laughed off the threat of the ageing star stealing her man but, recently when she bumped into Ana at a Gym in Madrid, witnesses say it got nasty. According to the Daily Mirror, Victoria cornered Ana in a corridor and said, "Leave my husband alone, go put some clothes on and act your age."

I finally understand why she is so thin. She spends her days running around checking on him, threatening other women and holding on to him for dear life. Who's got time to eat?










Annie Lennox was at a movie screening in London when actor Orlando Bloom asked for her autograph. Annie mistook him for a fan and told him: “I just want a quiet night. Please leave me alone and get a life.”
Annie was said to be horrified when someone told her who he was and she rushed over to apologize. After clearing up the misunderstanding, the star gave Orlando an autograph and he gave her a quick kiss on the cheek. An insider revealed: “She was bright red when he smooched her.”

How could you turn down Orlando Bloom for an autograph....or anything for that matter. I'd give him a kidney.













OUT AND ABOUT.....
Here's a look at all the magazines coming out on newstands Friday. Not that you'll be needing to buy any....
US WEEKLY - Jessica hired the same lawyer as Jennifer Aniston...old news....told you that last week.








OK! Magazine - Will Tom break Katie's heart? Nope, but, he'll probably break her water. (I'm sure that's some scientology ritual)











Life & Style -Ooh....more divorce crap. Except you know Kevin and Britney are already back together so this story's old too.










In Touch - Angelina's growing bump? What bump? She's a toothpick.










This photo cracks me up. Here is Brad Pitt at a restaurant going in for a quick bite to eat. Just look at the woman beside him. She is sucking on that cigarette like it's a brad lollipop! She just can't believe her good fortune. Too funny.













Sarah Jessica Parker in an "interesting" gown at the premiere of her movie "The Family Stone."













Rachel McAdams at the same premiere who also co-stars in the movie. Fake versions of this photo are all over the net right now showing her nipples popping out. They are not real photos and were done with photo shop!!! You can't believe everything you see! My blog being of good taste will not show those fake photos. Besides, I like Rachel...













Guess who's back? (Literally)













It's Kelly Osbourne.! Yay...she got the zipper up!!!!













Mariah Carey and another fashion fiasco. She stole Nicole Richie's glasses and Mary Kate Olsen's style. What? Mary Kate has no style you say? That's my point. I'll say one thing...at least she's kept her cans in the pantry where they belong.













Jennifer Love-Hewitt is having a grand ole time getting the corns scraped off her feet.













Lindsay Lohan tries to look smart by wearing glasses. It's not working













Paris tried to look smart by wearing a brunette wig. Still not working..........













God help us...now they are dressing alike. Katie really does look very pretty here though.













Katie was seen later without Tom and in a big red coat. Just like Mia Farrow wore in "Rosemary's Baby"....Hey.....wait a minute now.......













This is Jordan. Britain's version of Pamela Anderson. Her shirt says GUESS. What are we supposed to guess? If she's wearing underwear? Silly her, how can play along when they are already showing?













Jack Osbourne looks like he's been caught in the act. Of what, I'm not sure but, if it's any good I'll elaborate on it next week.













Hilary's older, meatier, sexier sister - Hailie Duff poses for Maxim magazine - just like she said she never would....













Beyonce on the set of her new video. What's the song called? "Blind me with your fuschia crazy ass love?"













Kevin should consider dumping Britney for Kate Moss. They'd get along great. They both have a weakness for COKE. His habit's cheaper though.













Speaking of Kevin...Y'all, there is now a web site pleading for Britney to open up her eyes, put the cheetohs down and kick her man to the curb.
I'm only sorry I didn't think of it first...if you are interested, here's the link.
http://www.divorcekevin.com/

CUZ I SAID SO!

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