CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Monday, December 12, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 103

The National Enquirer ran a story this weekend that Michael Jackson suffered from an overdose from drugs and alcohol. NOT TRUE. His spokesperson released the following statement to Access Hollywood:
"Michael Jackson is doing fine and I have never seen him happier or healthier. Whomever these individuals are who are intent on disseminating false information throughout the media regarding Mr. Jackson, should begin hiring good attorneys and the journalists who continuously rely on these 'sources' should begin checking them thoroughly, because Mr. Jackson's tolerance level has come to an end."

In other words, Michael is in desperate need of money so lookout cuz he's gonna sue your ass for all you've got.









Pamela Anderson has denied rumors she is dating Mark McGrath by posting this message on her website.
"I am not dating Mark McGrath and he has never been to my house . Funny how I show up at an incredible event for an important cause 'Adopt A Minefield' and the news that comes out is about something completely and 100% untrue. It is disturbing especially because Mark is actually Tommy and Bob's friend." (Bob is Kid Rock's real name, another of her ex's)

Well, it wouldn't be the first time...Pam dated Kid Rock and he was friends with Tommy Lee at the time.










Shakira has revealed she needs at least 20 cups of coffee to stay awake. In her native country Columbia, she says people drank coffee like water and just one cup of coffee is not enough especially with her busy schedule. She told 'Rate The Music' Magazine,
"In Colombia, from the time you can grab a cup, you start having coffee. They put it in the baby bottle sometimes. "

Anyone else see a vision of Mary Kate rushing to the Columbian embassy trying to find out how quickly she can become a citizen?













Britney Spears has let husband Kevin Federline back in the house and is committed to give their marriage another chance. She kicked Kevin out of her home last week and supposedly consulted lawyers about divorce. Britney had begged Kevin to accompany her to a marriage counsellor and surprise, surprise he refused. Star Magazine says a "source" told them that although Britney has been working hard to lose her baby weight, Kevin has been calling her "Fat Ass" and "The Big Mama."

I believe in Karma. In Kevin's next life he's gonna have 12 kids...but, as a woman.













Rachel McAdams stormed out of a November cover shoot for Vanity Fair and fired her publicist on the way out the door. Her publicist, Amy Van Iden, had neglected to tell her that she would have to undress for the shoot.
"Every magazine wants her on their cover, so she can get away with being picky." says an industy insider.

Picky is not the word. It's self respect. You go Rachel!











Sarah Jessica Parker can relate to the stars of Desperate Housewives after reading media reports of on-set fighting. When she was on the comedy Sex and the City, Parker and her co-stars were the subject of the same type of speculation. Sarah accuses the media of wanting female actresses to be bitter rivals, and insists it came as no surprise to read similar stories about the women of Desperate Housewives. Sarah also insists she maintains regular contact with her former co-stars.

Sure, except for that bitch Kim Cattrell.










Kate Winslet is amazed she has never been offered cocaine, because she has never lived life in the fast lane.
She says, "I missed out on the whole clubbing thing. I truly, truly, truly have never been offered cocaine in my life. I've never taken coke. I wasn't in those environments. I just accepted that I was a misfit and thought, 'Oh well, that's the way I am then.'"

Is this her suttle way of saying she wants to be invited to Kate Moss's Christmas party?














Jennifer Lopez has sent her ex-fiancé Ben Affleck and his wife Jennifer Garner a gift basket to congratulate the birth of their baby daughter Violet. A friend of Lopez, says: "She'll always have a special place in her heart for Ben."

They better let security check the "basket" for ticking noises. That rattle could be a weapon of mass destruction. If I were Jennifer Garner I would send her a Thank You card with this picture on it.









Catherine Zeta-Jones has vowed to finally quit smoking in the New Year. She is concerned because her two children Dylan, five, and two-year-old Carys are approaching an impressionable age.
She says: "I have to stop as my kids are at an age when they are going to start asking Questions."

I suppose she has to get rid of Michael Douglas too. Afterall, the kids may want to know why daddy is older than grandpa on their mommy's side.










Paula Abdul has announced plans to release her autobiography. Paula is busy preparing to tell all about her life. She says: "I reconnected, after 16 years, with Richard Branson, who's publishing my life story. It's so exciting."

If she focuses on her battle with bulimia she can call it "Straight Up". If she talks about all her plastic surgeries and trying to keep her youths she could name it "Forever Your Girl" or she could just write a lot about Simon and go with "Cold Hearted Snake."












Country music sweethearts Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood were married Saturday in Oklahoma. In a statement Garth said "it's the perfect Christmas gift to each other. We could not be happier."

Problem is how do you top next Christmas? With a divorce and a hit album ofcourse.













Eva Longoria was thrilled when Morgan Freeman commented on how petite she was.
The petite Desperate Housewives star says smaller women are more approachable than tall, serious looking models.
She says: "When I met Morgan Freeman he said: 'You're a little bitty thing aren't you?' I took it as a compliment he liked the fact I wasn't a tall, cold supermodel."

Before this woman's head gets any bigger did she consider he was referring to her chest?













Scarlett Johansson feels self-conscious around her new mentor Woody Allen, because he hates everything she wears. Scarlett has made two movies with Allen - Match Point and Scoop - in London over the past two years.
Johansson says: "Woody has a very specific idea about everything. He hates everything I've ever worn. Every dress he hates. He's extremely fashion-conscious."

Um, he's a friggin pervert. If Scarlet wants to please Woody she needs to bare more breast. He'll like it. We promise.











Gwyneth Paltrow found it difficult to relate to her character in the movie PROOF because she played the part of a mathematical genius. She says she was terrible at the subject in school and continues to struggle with sums to this day.
She says: "I was terrible, on a retard level, at maths so it's very ironic that I'm playing a maths genius because I can hardly figure out what percentage to leave as a tip at the end of a meal."

Surely she can "add up" that the use of the word retard is completely unnecessary and insensitive!!










There is this guy in Rhode Island named Joseph Moretti that chooses a different theme each year for his Christmas light display. Getting into the Christmas spirit like this for more than 20 years, his past tributes include Martha Stewart and Princess Diana. This year, he has done a Paris Hilton tribute .He said he once met Hilton and was impressed by how nice she was (Really? When's that video coming out?) I think it's an interesting idea although there are a million people I would want plastered all over the front of my house OTHER than Paris. I guess you can call it A PLASTER OF PARIS....











Richard Pryor died of a heart attack. He had also been struggling with MS for years. Rest In Peace.









OUT AND ABOUT....
Ziyi Zhang at the premiere of "Memoirs of a Geisha". The movie comes out here December 23rd. This was one of my favorite books EVER. I hope the movie lives up to the hype in my head.













Christina Aguilera is back from her honeymoon. She looks relaxed and happy. I was worried how she would react to finally losing her virginity. (Stop laughing.)













Vanna White used to turn heads. Now she only turns.............letters.













Tom and Katie go to yet another of his kid's soccer games. They are starting to look alike. Must be an alien connection thing.










That Pitt family sure has some good jeans, I mean genes.







































Angelina and Zahara coming from an L.A courthouse. Getting Braddy legal adoption rights to the kiddies perhaps?













Kylie Minogue seen for the first time in months as she recovers from breast cancer.













Kirsten Dunst and an unidentified friend at a LAKERS game. She misunderstood. She went for the beer.....but, her friend said "Let's go to have a cheer!"












Jessica Simpson serenades her dog Daisy. I hope the poor dog is getting a hell of a treat for this. Where is P.E.TA when you need them?










Pamela Anderson and others from her sitcom "STACKED". I guess she is trying to see if her co-stars "measure up".













Britney Spears going out the back door of LAX nightclub . Has Kevin gone "missing" again?









CUZ I SAID SO!

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