CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Saturday, December 10, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 102

Unconfirmed reports say that Brad and Angelina got married at the Ritz Carlton in Sarasota, Florida on Friday December 9th. Also radio station 93.3 FM in Sarasota reported the same thing. Callers to the station reported that there were several helicopters buzzing around the Ritz and that traffic around the hotel was jammed up. Several websites are reporting it happened and several others are saying it's simply not true.

I'm gonna go with the latter and say it's false. I'm gonna need some evidence. A wedding photo perhaps or the actual Honeymoon video. That should convince me as well as make me very, very happy.













Matt Damon DID marry his longtime girlfriend Friday morning. Yesterday I told you she was three months pregnant. Whatever happened to living in sin?












Jessica Simpson has reportedly hired a high-powered divorce attorney to handle her split with husband Nick Lachey only three weeks after they announced their separation. According to Us Weekly, Jessica has hired Robert Kaufman, who represented Jennifer Aniston in her divorce from Brad Pitt earlier this year. A representative for Simpson has refused to comment on the report, but a friend of Jessica confirmed, "Jennifer handled her divorce with Brad like a lady, in a non-sleazy way, and Jessica wants to do the same."

And I suppose if Jennifer Aniston jumped off a bridge.........













Pamela Anderson has banned ex-husband Tommy Lee from Christmas dinner because she wouldn't be able to resist him. Pamela, who has two sons with the Motley Crue drummer, says whenever he is around she thinks of nothing but sex.
She admitted, "Tommy still makes me think of sex, not mashed yams and turkey."

Well, we figured that. After all the video wasn't called "Celebrating the Holidays with Pamela and Tommy.'









Elle Macpherson says she hates when women don't wear nice underwear. It also irks her to no end when girls' bras and knickers don't match. The ex-supermodel revealed: "I believe in matching underwear, even if it's your comfy bra. Wearing unmatched lingerie is like wearing one brown sock with one blue one."
Elle who has her own line of lingerie also warned women to avoid showing off tell-tale pantie lines. She said: "None of my knickers have elastic around the bottom, so there's no knicker line."
You know, I tried to find a photo of Elle in mismatched undergarments and I could not. She really DOES always match the two and if she can't she has a simple solution..... she doesn't bother with a top at all. And people think supermodels have no brains.













Burlesque artist Dita Von Teese admits she loves to be spanked by new husband Marilyn Manson. Just before getting married in Ireland last week the sexy brunette said: "I'm into bondage. I think it's really fun, and I love playing the part of the damsel in distress. The feeling is amazing when someone spanks me."

Suddenly, I get what she sees in him. I wonder if "Showcase" is their 'safe word'.










Johnny Depp has a message to give all paparrazzi. The actor who has two young children with longterm lover Vanessa Paradis, revealed: "I don't care if they take my photograph. I don't care if they take Vanessa's photograph; we're adults. But when they start taking photos of my kids and putting them in their magazines that I can't support."
He added to Britain's Loaded magazine: "Just make sure that you're really far away because if I'm able to get my hands on you I'll bite your nose off and swallow it."

Johnny, stop teasing. (Where's my camera?)












David Arquette is in the middle of a sex scandal after an alleged romp with a stripper in 1997 has come back to haunt him in the pages of a US tabloid. The National Enquirer reveals Erika, now an ex-stripper, enjoyed a night of passion with David a year after he started dating Courtney Cox, his current wife. She says she performed lap dances for him at a club and slipped him her phone number. He called her the next day. She says she was impressed with his bedroom skills, considering how drunk he was. The article also features revealing pictures of a giggling David Arquette kissing Erika's breasts, which were said to have been taken just before the odd couple went back to the apartment for sex. A spokeswoman for Arquette says, "We don't really comment about those types of things."

These types of things? How many strippers have accused David of this anyways???













Ashlee Simpson and actress Carmen Electra have offered their sympathy to Britney Spears, after hearing of her reported marriage problems.
Backstage at the Billboards, Ashlee said, "If it's true I wish the best for her. It's sad."
Meanwhile, Carmen advised Britney to get out of the marriage quickly if it isn't working.
"Sometimes you got to work through it unless you know for sure it's not working or meant to be. Then move on, don't waste your time."

Here's my advice Britney. Get a babysitter, put on your best lingerie and make him a warm home cooked meal. All you'll need is a nice roast, potatoes, a bottle of wine, duct tape and some rat poison. Call me. I'll explain the rest.













More on Nicole Richie's split with Adam Goldstein. The couple just called off their nine-month engagement saying it was a joint decision. But, according to America's New York Post, sources have claimed Adam ended the relationship because of Nicole's 'moodiness'.

Ofcourse she is moody! The girl hasn't had a decent carbohydrate for years. He's lucky she never pecked his eyes out.








Aimee Osbourne is launching a singing career. Aimee is the oldest daughter of Ozzy and Sharon who had refused to take part in the MTV family documentary THE OSBOURNES because she wanted to maintain her privacy. Her dad is convinced Aimee is a star in the making.
He says, "She's kind of shy but she's got a fabulous singing voice."

Shy, she can actually sing AND a natural beauty? When are they going to tell her she's adopted?













OUT AND ABOUT...........
Someone actually said to me the other day that they get Kelly Osbourne and Kelis mixed up! Although I simply cannot imagine how that is possible, allow me to clarify.
KELIS - Her milkshake brings all the boys to the yard and damn right...it's better than yours.













KELLY - She on the other hand, goes to the yard and has a milkshake.
Anymore questions?













Reese Witherspoon eating for possibly two? Rumor is she is pregnant with her third child.













Also Kevin's supposedly back home with Britney and the baby after he begged and grovelled. But, here he is leaving again. Sean Preston must have had prunes or asparagas baby food. Kevin's outta there!













Kate Moss and her daughter Lila share some candy. Put the phone down.... not that kind of candy. Kate is starting to look like Uma Thurman. I love Lila's little red cowboy boots!













Mariah Carey has her assistant holding her drink for her. Funny, doesn't look like Mariah broke her fingers.











Scarlet Johansson's a bust!













Penelope Cruz on the set of her movie "The Good Night." Must a been a REAL good night...what's with the red rash on her chest?













Naomi Watts poses for Vanity Fair Magazine and shows us why Kong's going ape over her.









Lucy Lawless (Xena The Princess Warrier) goes blonde. I wonder if Gabrielle digs it.













Jamie Lynn Driscala a.k.a Meadow Soprano cuddles up to her television brother A.J. They are shooting the next season! Literally probably.













E.H call home.













One of these things is not like the others. One of these things is not the same. Tell me which of these things are not like the others. Guess before my song is done. And now my song is done.









Denise Richards at the park with daughters Sam and Lola.













When did Jay-Z and Beyonce become scientologists?










Ben Affleck's dentist walks him out of the office with a present for baby Violet.













Ashley Olsen goes for a new image. From street hobo to street walker.













I wonder if David Beckham needs help cleaning his balls.













Tomorrow's WTF will be the top TEN women TEEN PEOPLE have chosen to be the most beautiful. Stay tuned peeps.
CUZ I SAID SO!

3 Comments:

Blogger A. Truth said...

is it just me or does Beyonce look really horrid without makeup?

Kelis & Kelly should team up to do a single vs. Gwen and Eve, with an extra rap by Nas and backing vocal duet by Gavin and Ozzy. star power has no limits.

taste-wise or otherwise.

10:35 PM  
Anonymous Celebmonger said...

Beyonce looks a million times with no makeup than Donatella ever will WITH makeup...now that's a horrid thought..Donatella without make up.
MAKE THE CRAWLING OF MY SPINE STOP!!!

10:43 PM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your "lucy lawless" picture isn't Lucy Lawless. She has gone blond but that's not Lucy.

To see a picture of the blond Lucy go to:

Lucy Pictures

12:55 AM  

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