CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, December 09, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 101

Donald Trump discussed his wife Melania's pregnant body on Howard Stern's morning radio show Wednesday, reports Page Six.
Trump says, "You know, they just blow up, right. Like a blimp - in the right places. In her case, the right places. I mean she really has become a monster, in all the right places. I mean monster in the most positive way. She has gotten very, very large in all the right places."

Alright, alright, we get it. Your wife has huge breastfeeding knockers. You know Donald, I actually thought when you married this one you had changed. I was wrong. You're fired!












Penny Lancaster has already recovered her model figure just nine days after giving birth. Arriving at an Italian restaurant with her fiancé and father of her baby Rod Stewart, she showed no signs of just giving birth in her little black dress.
"It was unbelievable to think that she has just had a baby," said one onlooker at Cipriani in central London. She looked a lot bustier than usual, but other than that you wouldn't know she had ever been pregnant.

Great. I suppose this means Rod will be on Howard Stern tomorrow bragging about his wife's ample bosoms.













Gwen Stefani has delayed the release of her follow-up to multi-million selling debut Love Angel Music Baby, because she is too exhausted to promote it. The album is already rumored to have several hits on it. She worked on it with one of the best producers in the biz Pharrell Williams.
She says: "I have a really good record that I could put out, but I'm not going to do it. I decided that it's just more important that I take a nap. I just need to hibernate for a minute."

Bull. Being a bleached blonde is a lot of work. She wants to become a recluse for a while and let the roots fall where they may.












Nicollette Sheridan's split from her former fiance Niklas Soderblom appears to have turned nasty. She is threatening to slap her ex with a restraining order. Soderblom, whose romance with Sheridan came to an end earlier this year, reportedly told a Swedish publication that the Desperate Housewives beauty made the threat after they ran into each other in California after they had split up. A source says, "Nicollette started yelling, 'Get away from me!'"

Things must be pretty bad. That's not like Edie to turn men away. Maybe she didn't want him to see her without makeup?









Sarah Jessica Parker thinks the rumors that she earns $38 million a year are hilariously not true. There were recent claims Jessica is the richest woman in New York
She says, "That's hilarious! It is simply not true. If I had that kind of money, I would fund every library that's been shut down in our city and every ballet company."

I happen to believe her. If this woman had lots of cash she would of had her shnoz done ages ago!










Ashlee Simpson revealed a secret when she was interviewed by Cosmopolitan Magazine. She told them that years ago when she became the youngest student ever accepted at the School of American Ballet she started binge eating in a bid to compete with her peers.
She revealed, "I was around a lot of girls with eating disorders, and I actually had a minor one myself. It was about six months of not eating too much at all. I was 11 and five feet two and about 70 pounds. My parents stepped in and made me eat. That really helped a lot."

Ofcourse Papa Joe Simpson intervened. He wouldn't want to hinder a growing girl.













Mariah Carey has fueled rumors she is engaged to mystery boyfriend Mark Sudack by sporting a huge, sparking ring on her engagement finger at Tuesday night's Billboard Awards. Sources say she has accepted a proposal from Sudack, the record executive who helped relaunch her career.

Engaged to a mystery boyfriend? How many pictures of Mariah do I post in a week and even I have never seen them together. Sounds suspiciously like Jan's "mystery boyfriend" from the "VERY BRADY SEQUEL" Mariah is THE original Desperate Housewife. Except that she's not a housewife so that just makes her desperate.














Matt Damon and fianceé Luciana Barroso are expecting their first child together, Access Hollywood has learned. Luciana is three months pregnant. Matt proposed to her just before Labor Day. The couple has yet to set a date for the wedding.

Matt and Ben Affleck have been best pals for years. First Ben Affleck dates famous JLO and best bud Matt Damon doesn't like her. Then Ben meets Jennifer Garner and settles down, Matt meets Luciana and settles down. Ben and Jen have a baby together. Now Matt and Luciana are having a baby together. Ben and Jen are huge BOSTON RED SOX fans and ...oh what a coincidence, here's a photo of Matt and Luciana at a ...you guessed it RED SOX game.
BEN RUN FOR YOUR LIFE! It's SINGLE WHITE MALE!!!!!











Reese Witherspoon has spoken out against Legally Blonde director Robert Luketic's claims she was difficult to work with. The director insists he will never cast the actress again because she is "impenetrable", "morose" and "no fun."
Apparently, Reese is baffled and she says, "I don't really understand what he meant by that. If he felt that way, why did he take five years to talk about it? He could have called me."

Who wants to call a person who is "impenetrable".......I don't know what it means but, it sounds dirty don't it?













Madonna was in Tokyo this past week promoting her new album. She shared her love for the culture with reporters at a press conference
She said, "I've always been very interested in Japanese culture. Some of my videos, some of my performances on stage have been inspired by Japanese cinema, martial arts, Japanese music, Japanese fashion, Japanese food. I love Japanese food. I have a Japanese cook in London that travels everywhere with me. I probably eat more Japanese food than you do."

What a kiss ass! Record sales in Tokyo must be low.









Actress Jessica Alba who has posed scantilly clad for men's magazines like MAXIM and FHM has decided she will no longer do those types of photos shoots. She feels she wants to be respected as an actress, rather than thought of as a sex symbol. During an interview to promote the DVD release of Fantastic Four, she said:
"Someone like Natalie Portman just wouldn't do Maxim. There is definitely a reason why I should do Rolling Stone or GQ. But for me as a woman, and who I am as a person, and what I represent and who I want to portray, is somebody who is intelligent."

Too late sweetheart.













Brad Pitt is said to be proposing to lover Angelina Jolie. Every single day. He is allegedly desperate to tie the knot with her but, she doesn't want to hurry to the altar.
A friend claimed: "Angie is addicted to her independence. She's happy with Brad and doesn't want to jinx the relationship"

If you don't want him Angelina then step aside sister!











Angelina Jolie was left red-faced after a female fan bared her bottom to show off a tattoo of the sexy actress on one cheek. Angelina graciously posed for a snap with the pretty admirer at a benefit concert for Peter Gabriel's charity, Witness, on Monday. However, as the actress turned her back, the female fan revealed an 8-inch tattooed image of Angelina on her butt . Luckily, the blushing actress saw the funny side and took a picture of the tattoo on her mobile phone.

No, it wasn't me but, damn, why didn't I think of that?













According to sources for Australian gossip magazine, NW, Paris Hilton’s friends believe she is suffering from bulimia and has been for some time.
One of Paris’s confidants told NW, “We think she’s had a longstanding battle with the disease and she’s been able to keep it pretty well hidden for years. But she’s stepped it up recently. All the typical symptoms are there dramatically fluctuating weight, frequent trips to the toilet after meals and a love/hate relationship with food.”

I don't believe Paris has bulimia. However, I believe she causes it. She makes me wanna toss my cookies.








In case there was any doubt about how much money I am saving you loyal readers on magazines here's the proof. Issues out today include:
STAR magazine will tell you this week that Jessica got collagen injections, Britney kicked Kevin out and Brad is adopting Angelina's kids. I told you that last Friday. After Canadian newstand price and applicable taxes - there's five bucks right there.













Same stories, different magazine....a week too late. Another five bucks saved.













OK! Magazine is close to six bucks since it's from the U.K. They are just now reporting about the adoption, Tom and Katie expecting a boy and baby Violet.











In Touch has the same stories as the others except tells you about Jennifer Aniston's topless photos fiasco. I told you on W.T.F 99. That's right. Two days ago.
In Touch is not as expensive as the others but, I bet to make up for you throw a chocolate bar in your basket too. I say I saved you another five bucks and around 500 calories here.










OUT AND ABOUT....
Braddy's bike broke down in the middle of the highway and he had to call for roadside assistance. I knew one day I would regret not pursuing a career as a tow truck driver in the States.










Maybe he was calling Jennifer because he saw her drive by him on the highway. Brad stopped to phone his ex and tell her to take the frigging ring off.













Mariah Carey reading Peter Pan to children today at Madison Square Garden. WTF? Who's idea was this anyhow? Next thing you know Tara Reid will be going to daycares to teach toddlers how to suck vodka through their soothers.













Holy crap. Could it be? Jennifer - I made Ben Affleck quit smoking when I dated him because it was such a filthy stinky habit - Lopez is having a cigarette? The arrival of baby Violet seems to have pushed her over the edge!













Lindsay Lohan's clothes are falling off and she's not even at the after party yet.













Didn't pay much attention to where David Beckham is or where he is going in this photo. Does it really matter? Sigh.













CUZ I SAID SO!

1 Comments:

Anonymous Celebmonger said...

David Beckham makes me wanna dye my hair blonde and roll in mud.

10:48 PM  

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