CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, November 16, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 93

Former Baywatch star Brooke Burns is in hospital after suffering a fractured neck bone in a pool mishap last week. Brooke is expected to make a full recovery and "be back to normal" in a few weeks. She dove into her pool at home, misjudged the depth and hit her head on the bottom. Her manager, Barbara Stark, tells E! News. "Brooke has a slight fracture in one of her neck bones but, did not suffer a broken neck or spinal injury. She is very blessed and very lucky."

Apparently she's stupid as well. How do you misjudge the depth of your own pool? I don't swim and don't have a pool so someone has to explain this to me. Please.
Oh and by the way, I won't be getting a pool now for sure.
















Kevin Federline has broken his hand after spinning out of control on the dance floor. Kevin apparently fell from a podium at The Spider Club after pulling one too many enthusiastic dance moves. He has been seen wearing a bandage on his left hand ever since.
A fellow club patron revealed: "Britney must have been at home with their baby son and Kevin was messing around dancing with his mates. The source is quoted as adding in Britain's Daily Star newspaper: "He was really going for it, throwing some seriously mad moves, and suddenly he slipped and landed on his butt. But his arm got caught and he has fractured his left hand."

How symbolic. Just when Britney's also knocked Kevin from the high pedestal she was keeping him on. Now Kevin REALLY has an excuse not to change diapers, or feed the baby, or work, or put some effort into his relationship....
















Gwen Stefani snubbed her husband Gavin Rossdale so she can spend time recording with hip-hop star Pharrell Williams. Gwen, who has been promoting her debut solo album LOVE ANGEL MUSIC BABY, booked ten days off to spend with her husband but, quickly changed her mind when Pharrell called her to spend the time in a recording studio.
Gwen said, "I was like, 'Wow, that's very ambitious! On the one break that I might have to hang out with Gavin, to hang out with you for ten days and write songs again?' But, it's such an opportunity to work with him, so I did it."

I'm sure Gavin took it well. I wonder how much he spent at the local strip joint?












Shakira has confessed she's shy about showing off her body in pop videos. The Columbian pop star says that she abides by her mother's wishes to show only her belly button. Shakira says that when people watch her videos, they might think that she's a very sexually aggressive person, but she insists that she is completely the opposite and is actually very shy of her body. She adds that she admires people who can do nudes for the love of art but that she simply can't.

Could of fooled me....













Well, it's official, according to the courts.....Victoria Beckham has had a boob job! The former Spice girl has always denied she bought her bigger breasts despite persistent rumours she'd had work done. And now a document relating to a libel case the singer and soccer ace husband David have filed has reportedly revealed the singer did have her assets enhanced.
The file which was obtained by Britain's The People newspaper says: "That the Second Claimant (Victoria Beckham) had in fact undergone breast enhancement surgery and had lied about it on the 'Tabloid Tales' television programme."
Victoria's claimed in the past, "I'm completely natural, except for my fingernails and I have a bit of help with my hair and a bit of San Tropez going on."

Here are before and after photos of when she was a Spice Girl and then photos after she married David Beckham. Did we really need a court paper to confirm that round baseball shaped breasts that you can drive a truck through are not natural?
Oh and a "bit of San Tropez..." who is she kidding? She looks like a carrot, she is so orange.















Kelly Osbourne has been given a plush $1.8 million London apartment for her birthday by her parents, Ozzy and Sharon. Kelly, who celebrated her 21st birthday at the end of last month, was thrilled with the gift. A source says, "Kelly is over the moon with the present. She was so shocked at first and couldn't believe it when her parents handed over the keys."

Here is Kelly at her birthday party. A midget jumped out of a cake. Not sure why Kelly was dressed like a mourning Italian widow.

















Meanwhile, Sharon Osbourne is telling Heat magazine: "Since I started talking to other couples about sex as I got older, I realised that Ozzy is very highly sexed compared with a lot of them."
He's like a f****** rabbit, honestly," she persisted. "We have sex every night we're together. Every night. Sometimes I have to tell him I am too tired, but Ozzy's never tired. I think I might have to make a formal complaint against him actually."

That explains why they bought Kelly her own place for her birthday. I guess Jack and Aimee will get therapy for the rest of their lives as birthday gifts. They will need it after they hear this story. NOBODY needs to know what happens in their parent's bedroom.















Halle Berry has agreed a lucrative deal to be the new face of Versace's upcoming print campaign. Halle met had a photo shoot in Los Angeles last weekend and according to sources the session was a huge success.
A set insider is quoted by America's New York Daily News newspaper: "The shoot was beautiful. Portrait shots, slightly messy hair and a wind machine very glamorous."
Halle is not the first star to advertise Versace. Actress Demii Moore and singer Madonna both have previously promoted the fashion house after being approached by owner Donatella Versace.

Good choice! She is gorgeous and Lord knows they can't use Donatella's face.















Kate Winslet is laughing off reports she is sporting a new svelte look insisting the only weight she has lost is in magazine photographs. Glossy publications have hailed the buxom actress' weightloss charting her slimmer figure in a series of features. Kate, who has accused magazines of airbrushing her image in the past, insists they must be guilty again.
She says, "I am sure they slim the pictures down. I am still buying the same clothes."

Everybody gets airbrushed these days. Especially the people who don't need any.
















Annie Lennox fears she will never find love again because men are intimidated by her keen intellect. The Eurythmics singer, 50, believes potential partners prefer dating trophy blondes, as they are less demanding.
She says, "I'm pretty threatening to many men because I'm successful and intelligent, which is challenging because I think that most men of my age who have had my degree of success are looking for an accessory on their arm they're not looking for someone who is an equal."

Maybe it might have something to do with the fact that she looks manly? I dunno. Just trying to be helpful.

















Sienna Miller spoke about Jude Law at the premier of her latest film, Casanova, in Hollywood. It caused a paparazzi frenzy with Jude showed up at the premier although the two came in separately.
Sienna responded to a journalists enquiries of a reconciliation with, "Well, it's pretty obvious, isn't it? "We are working things out. Jude is my closest friend in the world. We've had a rough ride ."

Actually Jude had a rough ride....with the nanny.
And with friends like that who needs enemies?















Fergie of the Blace Eyed Peas wants to share a sexy secret with women everywhere. She is currently dating hunky actor Josh Duhamel and recently told More magazine,
"Sometimes if I'm feeling like my stomach is bloated I'll wear a babydoll nightie. They're so cute and you can just keep them on."

This is Fergie and her stomach. WTF is she going on about? If she's covering up is there a hope in hell for the rest of us?
















Paris Hilton has been attacked by her pet monkey. She was out shopping buying lingerie with her new pet, named Baby Luv, when the animal went bananas. According to reports, the monkey bit Paris and clawed at her face as she entered the Agent Provocateur lingerie shop as it sat on her shoulder. Paris managed to pull the monkey off her face and then hooked Baby Luv on a leash which she attached to a cabinet so she could shop in peace.
Paris then spent over $4,000 on designer bras, panties and a kinky bullwhip, according to America's New York Post newspaper.

A bullwhip? Why would a self proclaimed "non-sexual" person need a bullwhip? I don't want to know but, when pictures of her boyfriend Stavros show up with red marks on his body they will probably blame the poor monkey.
















GQ has named their pick for MAN OF THE YEAR.....Jennifer Aniston. The magazine says she earned the honor because she showed a lot of poise, grace and good humor during her breakup with Brad Pitt this year. The couple's divorce was granted last month after four years of marriage.

Jennifer showed grace and good humor because I am certain she has been sedated for months. How else does one explain the way she handled it?
She does look HOT on this cover though. Angelina, eat your heart out if Brad hasn't already.
















Looks like it's already getting to Jennifer's head. Why is she making out with her reflection?















OUT AND ABOUT....
Britney goes shopping and carries her trademark drink "REDBULL." Wonder if she is buying Kevin a helmut for the next time he decides to go dancing. Hee hee.
















Nicole Richie at another one of her book signing events.

















Jessica Simpson tries to technical and drive at the same time. Everyone OFF THE SIDEWALK!















Meanwhile Nick Lachey takes their dog Daisy to the vet. Aw, hope she's ok!


















Charlie Sheen's wife Denise Richards appears in the December issue of GIANT magazine. She is sooooooooo pretty. Looks like the new Victoria from Young and The Restless I think.


















Ben and Jennifer go out. Hope she has her maternity bag for the hospital packed. She is going to need it any minute now!


















Ben seen later, on his own....looking very buff and clean shaven. He wants to be a respectable looking Papa.
(YOO HOO Kevin Federline...did you get that?_

















Enrique Iglesias and his longtime fiance Anna Kournikova go out on the town.


















Paris Hilton and Stavros at Kelly Osbourne's birthday party. Um, Paris, I think you forgot your pants - again.

















Serena Williams takes a break from tennis. She is wearing clothes from J'LO's line. Good thing, cuz, Baby' s Got Back. Ain't nothing wrong with that.
















FAMILY MATTERS......
Angelina, Brad and Maddox go grocery shopping in Malibu.
















Brad gives Maddox a lift out the cart.
Hey, where's Zahara? I guess bringing a child from Ethiopia to a grocery store may be a little too overwhelming.....

















A pregnant Brooke Shields, hubby and their daughter Rowan attend an event.

















Reese Witherspoon, hubby Ryan and their son Deacon take a hike. Literally.
















Paul McCartney's youngest daughter Beatrice and her daddy take a stroll. Her mother is his current wife Heather Mills. Beatrice is just learning how to talk. Hmmm..wonder what she is saying?
Beatrice: "Daddy, where is Mommy?"
Paul: "She had to go out. It was important. Very Important."
Beatrice: "Oh. Was J-Lo wearing fur again? Mommy hates when she does that!"

















Paul: "Mommy had to go to a rally. She will be back for dinner."
Beatrice: "What are we going to eat daddy?"
















Paul: "Well, it's daddy's turn to cook so I am going to make lasagna and burgers."
Beatrice: "But, daddy, you know Mommy is against killing any animals! She will be so angry!"
Paul: "No need to worry. I am making it all vegetarian. Without meat....well, your mommy's
plate will have no meat but, I am a man. I need a hunk of beef every now and then."
Beatrice: "Mommy's gonna know. Can I go to Uncle Ringo's house for dinner? Or maybe my big sister Stella? She has the best clothes."

1 Comments:

Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Ugh... Kelly is such a spoiled little brat...

Anyways I fell of my chair dieing of laughter at how Kevin broke his hand dancing... that boy is going nowhere! =P

Jenn Aniston doesn't look hot on that cover, she looks uncomfortable and her boob looks deformed... =P Angelina can pull of a way hotter cover, another point for team Angelina, lol!

2:56 PM  

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