Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, November 08, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 87

Sharon Osbourne's is criticizing Madonna's fashion sense...or lack of it I suppose. Sharon says she is sick of the singer's varied fashion ideas and insists that she should find a style which reflects her personality and stay with it.
She says, "It's like dressing up with her. One day you're in f**king gun gear, then your're in horse gear, then you dress like a f**king dyke, then you dress like a hooker, then you're in a flowery dress reading kids' poetry looking like a f**king librarian - then you're back to looking like an old hooker again. You can't be all those things and true to yourself. I don't care who you are."

Madonna may dress like an old hooker but, Sharon swears like an old sailor. Are all those F words really necessary? WTF is that about? I mean really. She should %$##%&%$!!!!!
Whatever that means.
Here are Madonna's ever-changing looks.

Emma Watson only 15, who plays Hermione in "Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire" arrived at the London premiere every inch a movie star. In an embroidered white chiffon gown, white headband and sequinned gold slippers, the young actress wowed the 7,000 fans who had gathered in the rain to catch a glimpse of their favourite stars as well as hourdes of photographers. She later revealed that the dress once belonged to a screen icon.
"I looked everywhere for the perfect dress and then I found this vintage 1920s dress in a shop in Notting Hill and I fell in love with it," she said. "But what's amazing is that I've since discovered it was specially made for a 1920s screen goddess, which makes it even more appropriate. I don't want to say who it is at the moment because we are still finding out all the details."

So she's wearing a dead woman's dress...big deal. She does look very pretty though. Looks like she's working some magic with Harry Potter and Ron Weasely at the Premiere.

Kate Hudson is sueing several publications for printing pictures which she falsely claim she had an eating disorder. Kate, who is the daughter of actress Goldie Hawn, claims the pictures "suggested that she had an eating disorder that was so grave and serious that she was wasting away, to the extreme concern of her mother and family", her lawyers said. The publications included US tabloid The National Enquirer for its article last month titled "Goldie tells Kate: Eat Something! And She Listens!" British magazine Heat and the Daily Mail UK newspaper are also cited.

The reason everyone thinks Kate has an eating disorder is becaus sadly, except for when she was pregnant, this is a "fat" photo of Kate. She is half this size now.

Jake Gyllenhaal who stars in the new film "JARHEAD" admitted recently he was charged with shoplifting but, he says it was a misunderstanding.
He recalls, "A friend of mine dared me actually, at one point, to go into the store and to put on a Speedo and to walk out of the store in the Speedo - steal the Speedo and leave my clothes behind. I walked out and I was arrested by the Beverly Center cops. It was really serious for them; they don't see much action. It was a big moment for all of us." .

I think any man wearing a speedo should be arrested whether it was stolen or not....and I happen to think Jake is kinda hot.
NOBODY needs to wear a speedo.

Elisha Cuthbert says she will never do nudity in a film, much to the disappointment of her male fans. The pretty actress witnessed the frustration of her fans when she hid in the back of a cinema when GIRL NEXT DOOR - in which she plays a porn star - was viewing.
She says, "I'll never be fully naked in a movie. I just don't feel comfortable with it, secondly I think you can be a leading lady and not be naked. You can still make a character believable without going there. I snuck into the back of the cinema when it was playing and during the window scene, which pushed the envelope but didn't actually go there, I remember some of the audience being really disappointed and going Aww!"

Although she is very easy on the eyes, I think she is letting this episode go to her head a little. Any man watching a movie about a porn star is going to expect nudity. Even if Donatella Versace is the actress. Boobs are boobs.

The White Stripes singer Jack White has announced he's changing his name to "Three Quid", in a nod to rapper 50 Cent. The eccentric singer wandered on stage in London this weekend, a stuffed bird under one arm, and amazed fans by declaring his change of identity.
A fan says: "The Three Quid stuff was a bit weird, but if he keeps playing that well I don't care what he calls himself."

Doesn't anyone have a sense of humor anymore? Maybe he was joking?

Madonna says she has shot her last pheasant! After a recent incident on her English country estate, after maiming a bird left her filled with self-hatred. At first she says she loved the idea of learning about this traditional way of hunting and even invested thousands in suitable tweed outfits. After successfully shooting her first bird, she realized that she couldn't bear to see the pheasant's pain and suffering.
She says: "That all changed when a bird dropped in front of me that I'd shot. It wasn't dead.
Blood was gushing from it's mouth and it was struggling up this hill and I thought: 'Oh God, I did that.' I am not a vegetarian and I understand animals die for my meals. I respect that, but I just couldn't do it any more. I haven't shot since."

Where the hell was P.E.T.A (People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals) when this happened??

Val Kilmer and Angelina Jolie who became friends when they co-starred in the movie Alexander together,had arranged to meet during his recent promotional trip to England but, Angelina was so busy making sure the get-together remained private, they ran out of time.
Kilmer explains: "The last time I saw her she said: 'Come by the house', because I hadn't seen her home. But we got followed. I ended up pulling off and waiting at a pub while she went ahead and made sure no one was there and we ran out of time."

Sounds like a brush off to me. Can you blame her? Who'd want lunch with Val when you could be having breakfast in bed with Brad?

Cameron Diaz wants her relationship with Justin Timberlake to be just like her parents.
They have been dating since May 2003 and is convinced they could have decades of happiness ahead. She says, "They (my parents) have been married for 34 years. They're so inspiring to me. Their commitment is so strong. I've always dreamed of something similar for myself."

Talk about an ultimatum! No pressure Justin. Hee hee....sucker.

Desperate Housewives star Nicollette Sheridan is pissed off. She's fed up with porn internet sites publishing fakepics of her that she's thinking of setting her lawyers onto them.
According to men's mag Maxim, the actress is especially insulted by superimposed snapshots because the bodies used are much worse then hers.
She said: "You can't trust the internet. Someone told me there was this website with my head on other people's naked bodies doing lewd, crude and totally unacceptable things. I guess at one point I've got to get around to suing them. But the real drag of it was that my body is much better than their bodies... My God, at least do me justice."

I know how she feels, I hate when I find naked pictures of me on the internet and they use someone else's is so annoying.

Paris Hilton's aunt Kyle Richards has revealed that the famous heiress was bullied as a child. "There was jealousy and being picked on and I had to go down there a few times and straighten some people out because she was definitely picked on," she said on an A&E biography. "People would hear the last name and she was always a beautiful girl and that doesn't make for making a lot of friends with girls. She always had this attitude that she didn't care what people thought but she definitely did."

Oh please....I am sure even if Paris was bullied as a child, the three ponies, full size doll house and private pool made up for it. The reason girls didn't like her was because she was probably stealing everyone's boyfriends back then as well.

So where the heck is Jessica Simpson these days? Why I'm glad you asked. She's in Africa with her father/agent making appearances for an organization called OPERATION SMILE.
Lets' see EXACTLY what she is up to.............

Jessica: "Where are we off to today?"
Charity Worker: "An orphanage, a hospital for children and then to visit some needy families in their makeshift shacks."
Jessica: "Will I still have time to shop today?"
Charity Worker: "Shop? You realize you are in a very poor region of a Third world country?"
Jessica: " Yeah, so where are the discount designer stores?"
SUDDENLY Jessica's cell phone rings..

Jessica: "Oh Hi Daddy where are you?"
Daddy Simpson: "At the orphanage making sure we get some decent lighting in there for your appearance this morning"
Jessica: "Daddy? I thought you said this trip would be fun>"
Daddy Simpson: "Oh pumpkin give it a chance. You are gettin' lots of publicity for this so just go along with it and keep smiling"
Jessica: "But, daddy I thought those divorce stories you kept feeding the press were to get me in the magazines>"
Daddy Simpson: "Baby, that stuff's gettin' old, we need to change our focus. The kids at the orphanage will be glad to see you."
Jessica: "Kids? Why are there kids at the orphanage? I thought an orphanage was a place for orphans?"

Daddy Simpson: "Uh, Jess, orphans are kids!"
Jessica: "I though they were chemicals in your body?"
Daddy Simpson: "What? Chemicals? Huh?"
Jessica: " You know, when you get excited. EndOrphans?"
Daddy Simpson: "Oh Lord help us, those are endorphins....never mind just get over here!"
Jessica: "I'll be there soon daddy, I got something real important to do first."
Daddy Simpson: "What could be more important than coming to visit orphans?"

Jessica has changed from her red charity outfit to her blue and green charity outfit. Ah, much better.


Madonna and her beautiful daughter Lourdes at the "Harry Potter and The Goblet Of Fire" world premiere in London.

Funny man Adam Sandler rides a young girl's bike complete with a flower basket through Manhattan for his upcoming movie Click.

Angelina Jolie gets covered with electric probes to record her movements for a computer-animated adaptation of the epic poem Beowulf. Jolie will play the part of the monster Grendel's mother, otherwise known as the Queen of Darkness.

Britney Spears goes shopping at Victoria Secret with her sister Jamie-Lynn. Does she really think a pair of frilly lace panties will save her marriage?

Anna Kournikova and longtime fiance Enrique Iglesias have some fun and gross out the papparazzi.

Reese Witherspoon and her son Deacon play on the beach.

Jennifer Aniston and Vince on the beach. He really needs a new shirt. I swear he is always wearing this one.

Avril Lavigne leaves a L.A eatery.

Alicia Keys and Usher do a duet at a charity benefit.

Jennifer Garner and her caffeine free coffee ( I am assuming)

Julia Roberts, hubby Danny Moder and their twins.

Jane Seymour and her twins.

Pamela Anderson and her twins. She was on Ellen DeGenere's talk show today. She did a couple of cartwheels and flipped herself over the couch and she wasn't even doing a Tom Cruise imitation! (I'll post photos of her antics once I find some)



Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

What Angelina did is so cool. I saw how they do it on MTV once. Very creative!

I wonder how it'll turn out? Probably really hot! Hey, her fish in "Shark Tale" wasn't to shabby, hahaha!

9:25 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Angelina would look hot in a potato sack rolled in mud with no make up and her hair all actually.

10:00 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

You know what she really would look really hot in that, lol. Some people like that "dirty" stuff, hahaha! =P

12:16 PM  

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