CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Saturday, November 05, 2005

Celebrity WTF'S Volume 85

Charlie Sheen has confirmed he and his wife Denise Richards are officially back together by flashing his wedding ring on a US chat show. He had removed the ring afterthey split earlier this year. Apparently they have recently been spotted seeking counselling help to save the marriage. Charlie appeared on The Late Late Show last night and said he had happy news.
He revealed, "Things are really good and rather than launching into any specific detail, I can just do that." raising his left hand and showing off his replaced ring

He better behave himself this time and start helping her with the kids or she's be waving one her fingers back at him and it wont be her wedding ring finger.










Ellen DeGeneres and girlfriend Portia De Rossi are considering becoming parents. Ellen will not confirm whether the couple plans to adopt or go for a natural birth. She told People magazine, "I think we should do it . When I'm around babies, I just melt. It's a big responsibility."
The couple will have to fight America's strict anti-gay marriage laws to make sure her partner would be well looked after if anything should happen to her.
She explains, "If it were legal, we would be married, but it's not legal. I hate politics, but I think everyone should be treated equally. If I die tomorrow, everything's taken away. We've taken precautions for that and she's taken care of, but, because we're not married, the taxes could take everything."

Come to Toronto Ellen! It's legal here. I love Ellen. She makes me laugh, loves her job, dresses well, does amazingly nice things for other people and is always happy. Come to think of it...who doesn't want to marry her??








Kirstie Alley is denying she's had her stomach stapled, insisting her weight loss is all down to the healthy diet plan she advertises on TV. She has been successful thus far on the Jenny Craig Diet. She was so impressed with the results she agreed to endorse the diet plan on national TV. But new reports suggest Alley is a cheat, and she actually lost the weight by having stomach-stapling surgery.
Her lawyer Barry Felsen fumes, "It's an outright lie that she had her stomach stapled. It's so false it's preposterous." Alley's publicist Rob Levy adds, "She can show she doesn't have the scars that this procedure leaves."

I've seen the Jenny Craig commercials. Kirstie gushes on and on about how amazing the food was on this diet and from a fellow food lover you can't fake that! Besides, if she was going to do that she would of done it already. She lives in Hollywood -You can get a deli sandwich in a cafe and go next door to a surgeon and get it liposuctioned out again.














Jessica Simpson's husband Nick Lachey has allegedly "vanished" while his wife is in Africa. Nick was last seen by friends two weeks ago at sister-in-law Ashlee Simpson's album launch party in L.A. Jessica is currently on safari in Kenya with her father Joe and personal assistant Cacee Cobb. She will visit to Nairobi so Jessica could promote her charity Operation Smile, a fund set-up for children born with cleft lips. Nick's spokesperson told New York Daily News newspaper: "He is out of the country recording his album."

Where's the recording studio? The Bermuda Triangle?













Just when I thought I heard it all...Matthew McConaughey claims he gets very sexually aroused by the food. He says taste is his most sensual sense. He admitted to Britain's InStyle magazine: "I think food is really sexy. Sometimes, if I taste something I really love, I get such tingles down my spine that I have to stop and take a break." He also has a thing for the smell of sun tan lotion. When asked why, he replied: "It smells like coconuts and they remind me of bikinis."

Here is he with girlfriend Penelope Cruz. Matthew's eaten half an apple in the photo and he's still not jumping her.
Maybe it's the actual apple he wants to be alone with and devour.











Joey Buttafuoco is now running a studio lot concession stand, serving up frozen treats to the casts and crews of Desperate Housewives and Crossing Jordan, Inside TV magazine reports.
Remember Joey? He made headlines in the early 1990s after his 17-year-old mistress, Amy Fisher, shot his wife, Mary Jo, in the face, leaving her severely injured and partially paralyzed.

Hey, Mary Jo - Mary Alice, there are similarities...Both were desperate housewives who got shot in the head except Mary Alice was more desperate cuz she pulled her own trigger. No, my mistake, Mary Jo was MUCH more desperate. She is still with Joey!










Catherine Zeta-Jones says she wants a third child with husband Michael Douglas. Problem is he feels he's too old to be a father again. "Michael doesn't wanna be too old where I have to push him in a wheelchair as well as a stroller. He said it, not me!"
Michael is 61. Catherine is 36 and their youngest child is 2.

It wouldn't be that bad. Maybe they could get a discount on diapers? Depends.















Lindsay Lohan and boyfriend Jared Leto will star in an independent movie about the murder of former Beatle John Lennon, Daily Variety reports that Lindsay will play a Lennon fan who befriends Lennon's murderer, Mark Chapman (Leto), during the weekend that he kills the musician outside his New York apartment building, the paper said. It did not mention who would play Lennon.

If I were the casting agent for this movie I would cast Daniel Ratcliffe as John Lennon. A young Lennon ofcourse.
Daniel is otherwise known as "Harry Potter."













Kenny Chesney has admitted he rushed into his short-lived marriage with Renee Zellweger. They married in a surprise ceremony in May, but his actress wife filed legal papers to have their marriage annulled just four months later. Neither have spoken about why their marriage failed, but the country star suggests their courtship should have been longer. He says, "What was that old song: 'We got married in a fever, hotter than a pepper sprout.'"

Duh. Ya think?? They were married longer than they actually dated. Look at their wedding photo, she didn't even bother with her hair or even some lipstick. That's a sign right there.













According to the Daily Mirror, Sienna Miller and Jude Law are back together. The couple were seen Groucho Club in London before getting a nightcap at a pub and finally heading home shortly before dawn. It is thought that Sienna then stayed over at Jude's home .
An insider said: "They had a great night. It's early days but they are happy to let people know they're a couple again."

They're a couple alright, a couple of losers.












Jennifer Love Hewitt plans to star in and produce a fact-based feature about a prostitute housewife from Texas. The film, which is meant to be a comedy, is based on an article about a housewife and former homecoming queen, who became one of the city's most popular hookers until she, her co-workers and 68 others were arrested.

So she's taking a break from talking to ghosts and is now a "John Whisperer?"













Here is Madonna in her new video "HUNG UP" (I love this song) and what really happened the day of the shoot.
Director: "Ok, is that how you want the video to start? In that pose?"
Madonna: "Yes. OFCOURSE. This pose is a yoga pose called twisted flamingo. It accentualtes my elongated toned thighs. Don't you think?"
Director: "Whatever, sure."










Madonna: "I'm old enough to be Britney's mother and she ain't got nothing on me. Just look at my ass. I got this ass from hours of pilates. Who needs a thigh master honey, I am THE thigh master!."
Director: "Um, should we just start filming??"
Madonna: "NO! There are not enough mirrors in here! I don't do 60 hours of Bickram's Yoga a week for nothing you know. I want them to see my rock hard ass from every possible angle!"










Director: "Ok, they put some more mirrors up, we should film now, we only have this studio for a couple of hours."
Madonna: "Hold on! I need to stretch in my downward diva pose first!"
Director: (Rolling his eyes since Madonna cannot see) "Sure, whatever."










Director: "Ok, great.... all set?"
Madonna: "Speaking of ....ever seen a set of legs like this on a 47 year old woman? Man, I am so physically fit. Britney, Christina, Mariah, Jennifer....eat your hearts out!"
Director: "Yes, we know, we can see, ok we need to film this video now."
Madonna: (voice quivering) "Isn't anyone going to compliment my body? I worked hard for his you know. I don't do 40 hours of core conditioning a week for nothing!"











Director: '' Madonna, your body is an exquisite masterpiece. Can we shoot this now?"
Madonna: "One more stretch. This is my favorite. Always has been. It is very calming and will help my aura be in tune with my psyche for the video."
Director: (After 15 minutes) "Madonna, are you done yet? Seriously we are running out of time!"
Madonna: "You stupid baboon! Can't you see I am stuck? I can't move. Somebody help me! Hurry! I just heard something pop in my neck! Hurry you stupid ^&%$!!!!!!!"










OUT AND ABOUT...
Nicky Hilton at a Lakers game cheering her heart out. Yeah, they lost that night.















Sister Paris posing for her new perfume ad. Not sure why she is wearing curtains.














Reese Witherspoon at a party for her new movie WALK THE LINE. She plays Rosanne Cash. Here she is with cute hubby Ryan Phillipe.













Justin raises his hands cuz he's sure.....at an appearance on MTV. Holla!














Kevin Federline leaves a convenience store. I wonder if he bought a lottery ticket?













Beautiful Beyonce at an MTV appearance. Rumors say she's preggers. She always has such a glow to her, hard to say.













Lindsay Lohan and her little siblings.... man, she's aged. Maybe it's her mom.













Demi and Ashton try to hide from the press.










And finally, due to popular demand, the video where Ashlee Simpson goes into a McDonald's in TORONTO drunk and makes a fool of herself.
First the lip syncing incident, now this, the way she's gong, her future may just be a career in fast food and now because of this video - she can count McDonald's out of ever hiring her! She has burned her bridges! Here she is in a non related photo - wearing a hair net. I guess she has an interview with Burger King? Wait til her daddy comes back from his trip to Africa!
Link is below.






It's hard to hear but, I reported what was said on yesterday's W.T.F
Ashlee wasted at McDonald's..
http://tinyurl.com/7mhtu

1 Comments:

Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

LOL I saw the video of Ashlee at Micky D's today. Its so funny! Apparantly there were people who were protesting outside at MuchMusic when she was there this week. Thats so lame... They need to get a life! =P Oh but her new CD is so good, can't stop listening to it!

That picture of Lindsay kinda looks like its her mom but I actually haven't seen her mom so maybe it is her! =P I also noticed in that Desperate Housewives pic, Teri Hatcher is in the middle and Felicity something is in the back... Thats kinda mean, lol.

Everytime I see a picture of "K-fed" I cringe...

10:45 PM  

Post a Comment

<< Home