CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Monday, November 14, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F Volume 91

When Madonna performed on a German TV show recently, she refused to use their toilet facilities. The producers of the show had to crane in Madonna's own personal 200 square foot luxury bathroom onto the set. The unit cost around $4,000 to rent. The luxury bathroom model, also used by the Pope contained two wash bins complete with halogen lighting, two showers and a separate bathroom.

At least we know it's not an ego thing....I mean if she thought her shit didn't stink why the need for the private bathroom ensemble?













Angelina Jolie is still very furious with her dad since he accused her of having “mental problems” shortly after her split from Billy Bob Thornton in 2002. According to the latest rumors, Brad Pitt wants Angelina Jolie to reunite with her father, actor Jon Voight. Why? So daddy can walk her down the aisle as it should. It seems this is the only reason the couple fight about.

And I am sure whenever Brad brings it up Angelina starts crying in lingerie. Brad then forgets why he was mad.













Johnny Depp is furious with executives at Chanel, Burberry and H+M, who all cancelled deals with Kate Moss during her cocaine use scandal.
He says, "It was unbelievably unfair the way she was treated. She was dragged through the mud. She's not running for office and she ain't looking to be the next Messiah. I think Kate should live her life how she wants to. She's no dummy, man."

He's right. She's no dummy. She used to be engaged to Johnny.














Kate Moss is reportedly being looked after by Jack Nicholson who she once dated and Robert De Niro. Jack Robert have been going out for dinner and taking long walks in Central Park with the supermodel. An insider revealed: “Kate enjoyed dining with Jack and Robert and they reassured her they were there to support her and that everything would be OK for her. It was heart-warming. Kate had a bowl of pasta. She looked sensational and the three of them were chatting away and giggling. Jack ensured she arrived and left via the back door to keep her presence low-key.”

Are we really surprised a bunch of dirty old men are trying to take advantage of a young, beautiful supermodel????














Mischa Barton who stars in the O.C, reveals that she turned down her publicist's suggestion of sleeping with Mr DiCaprio. She chuckles at how, during a photoshoot her publicist saw Leo and joked: "For the sake of your career, go sleep with that man."
Although she's recently split with oil heir boyfriend Brandon Davis, Mischa won't be knocking on Leo's door anytime soon. Mischa, 19 years old, says Leo's just way too old for her.
"Isn't he, like, 30 or something?"

Here's Mischa with her current boyfriend. At least Leo Di Caprio showers once in a while.













Jennifer Aniston has gotten two thumbs up from her Derailed co-star - the "dreamy" Clive Owen. It seems that the British actor is certainly a fan.
He told the New York Post: "Considering all the pressure she's under, the magnitude of public interest, she is surprisingly grounded, a lovely girl and a very, very good actress."

If that doesn't get her over what's his face....NOTHING will.













Michael Jackson's mother was so outraged when she saw her son Tito performing backing vocals for an impersonator of his superstar brother at a Hallowe'en party, she ordered him off the stage. Katherine Jackson told her son Tito off for his decision to make a mockery of himself and his brother.
A source tells magazine The Globe, "Katherine rushed backstage and coaxed Tito off.
"Then she gave him an earful and told him how stupid he looked playing alongside someone impersonating his own brother."

This isn't the first time one of the Jackson's tried to make fun of another sibling....like the time Michael went out dressed like LaToya.











Emma Bunton is ditching her Baby Spice image for good. She's purging her wardrobe of all her trademark mini-skirts.
"I'm getting too old to wear all those little outfits," she told The Sun. "They're too short and I don't feel comfortable in them any more. I hate those magazines where you see a picture of someone getting out of a car and they've circled the cellulite. I'd be mortified if they showed me like that. So I'm sticking to jeans from now on. "

How about doing away with the name Baby Spice? She has surely outgrown that too!













Much has been made of the fact Paris Hilton has failed to return her 24-carat engagement ring to former fiancé Paris Latsis, but what's the real reason her billionaire ex-boyfriend isn't bothered? The ring wasn't real.
"Paris bought it for herself," a friend told Page Six. "It's a cubic zirconia! The ring Paris Latsis gave her was a much smaller one. She lied to Us Weekly about it and everyone picked it up."

I knew it was a fake! If someone bought you a real diamond ring with 40 million carats you would take the time to get it SIZED properly!













Nicole Richie is complaining to friends that Paris Hilton has been crank-calling her, according to a report in the new issue of In Touch Weekly. A friend says that Nicole has been getting phony phone calls practically every night and she suspects the culprit is her ex-best friend. Nicole doesn't have proof, but she's almost sure it’s Paris..

All this technology and Nicole doesn't have call display?













Britney Spears apparently went ballistic when she read reports that alleged she had a tummy tuck to get skinny after the birth of her son. Shortly after giving birth, she was seen around town looking much skinnier.
Her spokesperson said: "She is not depressed, nor has she had a tummy tuck She is a 23-year-old mom who was in amazing shape before she got pregnant and was able to get back in shape after the baby arrived"

What a stupid story! Why in the world would ANYONE subject to a tummy tuck after having a caserean section? Unless they particularly love pain? On second thought, she did marry Kevin Federline.













MORE BRITNEY NEWS....
The Daily Star claims today that the relationship of Britney Spears and Kevin Federline has reached crisis point. Friends say they even want separation! According to an undisclosed source of a tabloid, Britney Spears has even consulted her lawyers about the repercussions if they don't resolve their differences.
"Brit's had all she can stand of the problems with Kevin," a source claims. "Britney needs a rest from the war. She explained to Kevin that the split would be temporary, that it would give them some breathing room to sort out their problems. "

Here they are on the cover of the British magazine "OK!" with a story about them that reads "STRONGER THAN EVER"
If they aren't having problems why is she either a) clutching on to his neck for dear life OR b) Trying to suffocate him...on the cover?











On November 4th, Porn star Nikki Nova was taking part in a photo shoot when she was thrown from a horse and landed on her head. The horse also fell on Nova. She fractured her skull and suffered bleeding on the brain. She told the East Valley Tribune that yesterday was the first day she's been conscious. Her spokesman says Nova doesn't have medical insurance. Nova is a hostess on Playboy TV's "Night Calls 411." and she has also appeared on "The Howard Stern Show."

Horses just don't like sluts. Hey, look what happened to Madonna a few months ago.













Turns out that Page Kennedy who played "The guy locked in the basement" on DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES got fired because he was flashing people on the set....and I don't mean with a camera.
I bet nobody would mind if the plumber did that. In fact, they probably encourage him to!













And now, some pictures of Jessica Simpson's recent trip to Africa for "Operation Smile." (An organization who helps children born with deformities of the mouth and lips)
In Jessica's own words ofcourse:


"Do I have to touch it? I just done my nails. Besides, it stinks."










"Now smile perty for the camera kid. What???? Oh is that why it's called Operation Smile? I thought I was here to make em smile, whaddya mean they can't?"















"Do I gotta go in this shack? My indian outfit is designer and if I dirty my boots ...."














Can't I pose with some other chief guy? He's clashing with my outfit!














"I'll give you each twenty American bucks if y'all promise to make this quick.....OUCH! Dang! Someone's standing on my gucci boot!"










In case you were wondering what ever happened to Vince Neil of Motley Crue.. here he is at a charity STRIP poker tournament with his wife Lisa Neil. Hey, at least it's for charity. You can see how he could fall for her big...um.....hair.














Ooh and the man of my dreams from when I was 14 until last week.....BILLY IDOL..performed last week.
Ok, I am totally over him now but, still think there is something sexy about that snarl.














OUT AND ABOUT....
Mr and Mrs Ashton Kutcher better get used to her clutching on to his arm like that when they go out together....especially in about, oh, 20 years.









Why I think Ashlee Simpson could be one of Gene Simmon's many love childs.













Madonna promotes the release of her new CD 'Confessions From a Dancefloor'
Say, I have a confession! I hate her hat.









Tom and Katie at an award ceremony. Tom is so proud of her pregnancy even though he's still a little confused on how it happened.













Marc Anthony must have a fetish for women who look like housewives from the 1950's. How else would you explain Jennifer's new look?













Cynthia Nixon who once played Miranda on 'Sex And The City' and her girlfriend. (Who she left her boyfriend of 10 years for.)














Christina Aguilera performs in South Africa.










Nicole Richie and her dad Lionel at the signing of her book "The Truth About Diamonds".















What? Are sales on the book not going so well? Wonder why Nicole is crying....maybe she gained a quarter ounce of a pound?













Beyonce just released her new clothing line "House of Deleon" named after her grandmother. It includes a line of jeans. Finally! Jeans that may actually fit girls who got some junk in their trunk. A la ...moi.














Jessie Metcalfe (otherwise known as the "Desperate Housewives" gardener) goes looking for a new hoe.













Nick gets smart and goes shopping with Jessica. She doesn't spend as much money that way.
Kidding, they are actually at the airport.














Britney leaves the baby at home and goes shopping. Oh, and little Sean Preston is probably at home too.













Does Pamela Anderson know the man on the stairs behind her is dressed as a woman? Actually, it may not be Pam, could be a tranvestite who resembles her. This could be a transvestite convention. (Not that there's anything wrong with that.) Regardless, those boobs ain't real.













The real reason Katie Holmes is marrying Tom Cruise even though everyone thinks he may be gay.













That silly David Beckham. My birthday was in August. Must be my Christmas present. I'm thrilled, I love me some nice lingerie.

1 Comments:

Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

Hahaha that OK! Magazine cover looks more like shes going to strangle Kevin! =P I wouldn't be suprised if they do split soon... Or they'll just pretend everything is alrite like Nick & Jess! =P

Hahaha those Jessica pictures were funny! She looks disturbed to be standing in front of that shack...

5:56 AM  

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