Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Computer update

I am at the library posting this. Our computer went down yet again this morning so I am not sure when the next blog will be. Hopefully this message won't be here later.....
Technician supposed to be coming to the house but, then again, he says a lot of things which never pan out...I am not holding my breath on this one.

I will update as soon as I can.

Monday, November 28, 2005

Celebrity WTF's Volume 95

Some of you know we had computer problems ...I'm much to cover but, I am going to have to pick and choose because I have missed a lot! I will try and update you and keep it brief.
Here we go.
After months of rumors, denials, and stories in magazines, Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are officially done. The couple jointly announced their separation last Wednesday.
"After three years of marriage, and careful thought and consideration, we have decided to part ways," Simpson and Lachey said in an official statement.

Hmmm and meanwhile Jessica's out at the movies and having dinner with Trace Ayala. He is apparently Justin Timberlake's best friend and was engaged to Elisha Cuthbert but, oddly enough he just broke up with her after Nick and Jessica announced their split.

Christina Aguilera tied the knot with music executive Jordan Bratman in a Saturday evening ceremony in California's Napa Valley, Us Weekly reported. Sources told the magazine that Aguilera, her hair decorated in jewels and pulled back in a bun topped by white flowers, walked down the aisle in a Christian Lacroix gown. The couple exchanged rings in front of about 130 guests. Justin Timberlake, Cameron Diaz and Drew Barrymore were among the list of stars who attended. The highlight of the wedding was when the groom thanked his parents for his "well endowed manhood."

I guess Christina really does know "What a Girl wants!"

Katie Holmes was thrown out of a California cinema when a vibrating gadget she was clutching disturbed fellow film fans. Katie claimed was holding a buzzing aid against her pregnant stomach, as she believes it is comforting to the fetus.
I have two theories on what happened.
1) Tom implanted a stun gun on his fiance to keep her awake while watching his movie "War of the World's". If she tried to nod off she got 2,046 volts through her body.
2) That was not a vibrating device to comfort the fetus. It was to, comfort, mommy.

More Tom and Katie news....they are planning to wait until their baby is born before they wed in 2006. Tom told Barbara Walters in an upcoming TV special that the engaged couple are planning a wedding ceremony for next summer or early fall, but they're yet to set a date. Tom has also revealed that he has bought his own sonogram machine so he can follow the baby's progress. He plans to donate the high-tech hospital equipment to an undisclosed maternity ward.

What he should of invested in is a paternity test.

Tom's ex-wife Nicole Kidman could not be reached for comment although I have a vision of her reaction.

Kirsten Dunst has her friends worried. She is now hanging out with Tara Reid. The two showed up together at a party. Kirsten is getting quite a reputation these days as she is showing up at parties and premieres everywhere wasted.....And some Web sites are now calling her "Kirsten Drunkst."
Not me. I prefer to call her "Thirstin' Dunst"

Speaking of drunks.....Tara Reid is so desperate to appear on the hit reality TV contest "Dancing with the Stars," she reportedly has instructed her agents to do whatever it takes to get her a part in the show's second season. An insider claims Reid's agent is "aggressively" trying to get her a spot on the show, which premieres in January.

Didn't some chicks dress fall off on that show last year? This time I suppose it won't be an accident if Tara gets on the show.

Pamela Anderson is apparently dating former 'Sugar Ray' singer Mark McGrath. Reports say the two spent a weekend at Anderson's Malibu home, leaving only to go food shopping.
Finally! Pamela dates a man who's hair is shorter than hers....although he may use WAY more hair products thand she does.

Vince Vaughn is adamant he is not taking his romance with Jennifer Aniston seriously and admits he hates dating.
He says: "I'm not dating seriously. I hate dates and I don't even like the concept. I try not to take it too seriously."

Um, does Jennifer know this? Here they are canoodling in a dark alley with friends.

LOTS of Angelina/Brad news to get to....
First Angelina Jolie received a Cambodian passport after she was awarded citizenship of the impoverished south-east Asian nation. Then there was the story about Angelina passing out at the airport due to exhaustion. Then Brad and Angelina were seen looking for a house together. No, not in Cambodia, and damn it - not on my street either. Which really is a shame cuz Maddox and Chelsea would get along famously.

Angelina and Brad then spent their Thanksgiving weekend visiting earthquake victims in Pakistan. United Nations goodwill ambassador Angelina wanted to see how the UN High Commissioner for Refugees is taking care of the survivors of the October quake which claimed the lives of 73,000 people and she took Brad along with her.

So while millions of Amercans stuffed themselves with turkey and pumpkin pie, Angelina visited the victims and spoke out for them while Brad donated hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of orthapedic beds to the local hospitals.

Angelina and Brad also went to the hospitals to visit the victims of the earthquake as well as the areas hit by the devastation.
Even these women who don't know how famous Angelina is were in awe of her.

Then...the two went to Japan to promote their film "Mr and Mrs Smith". The couple had banned the international media from attending press conferences during their promotional trip to Japan in a bid to dodge questions about their relationship. They were in Tokyo Friday to promote their movie and only responded to questions from the Japanese media about their professional lives.

Angelina guides Maddox through the airport.

Braddy and Zahara. I honestly cannot say who is cuter. It's a draw.

Madonna admitted that her hubby walked out of the room when she first played him her new album 'Confessions on a Dancefloor', which is currently No 1 in the UK album chart
She told Britain's Observer Music Monthly magazine: "Guy thought it was sh*t . He prefers Irish folk music "

He also probably prefers a wife who doesn't masterbate in a pink leotard in front of millions. Just a hunch.

Jennifer Lopez has signed up to appear in tire-makers Pirelli's 2006 VIP calendar. The star's shoot, in which she wears a skimpy white bikini, took place in in May. The famous calendar will be distributed to the tire firm's VIP clients.

I guess you do what you have to when they stop sending you scripts. Even bad scripts.

Britney Spears is in talks to play the lead role in the musical "Sweet Charity" on Broadway, the New York Post reported on Wednesday. She would replace Christina Applegate in January, the Post reported. Britney on Broadway? They know she can't sing right? Or act right? She would of been a good replacement for Christina Applegate when she was on "Married With Children" - Britney would of played slutty white trash "Kelly Bundy" to perfection. And she wouldn't even need to act.
Here's Britney out getting her belly button re-pierced late last week.

Meanwhile, Kevin Federline boasts he's put his interior decorating and landscaping skills to good effect while his wife has been busy getting used to motherhood.
He says, "I designed our backyard. We've got a pool, a grotto, a barbecue area. But the key piece is the shark tank. It's probably like 600 gallons. A flat-screen TV comes up in front of it. It's like a tropical paradise."

A two month old baby in the house and Kevin's spending time in the backyard? What do they need a grotto for? And a shark tank? What if the baby gets out by himself....or is that the point?
Gee can't figure out why Britney's so pissed at him, seems like Kevin has his priorities straight. His corn rows must be way too tight.

Kevin and Britney will finally show off baby Sean in the 1st week of December PEOPLE magazine issue. Apparently they are portraying the perfect family image in the issue. Gee, maybe I underestimated Britney afterall. She IS quite the actress!

Britney even showered for the shoot. Or maybe she is wearing the bathrobe as a cover up. Literally.

Here's Kevin with the baby. They probably made him hold a cabbage patch doll for the photo. Nobody trusts him holding the real thing cause his hands probably shake really bad if he doesn't have a cigarette or joint in them on a regular basis.

Nicole Richie's dad Lionel Richie - finally addressed his daughter's weight loss. He said she is under a great amount of stress and that is why she is so thin.
In the words of his famous song...."HELLO" ...your daughter is not eating. The odd lollipop or bite of a sandwich she has a ONCE a week does not count Lionel!

If Nicole's dad was Jessica Simpson's father Joe - her weight issue would been addressed months ago. Joe would have notice the diminishing of his daughter's breasts.

Stupid Paris Hilton had her pet monkey "Baby Luv" confiscated by the police. Usually, Paris just tires of her exotic animals and abandons them but, luckily this time the cops took her illegal pet monkey away from her. I am actually surprised the monkey didn't eat Paris. Let's face it, she's tall, long and her hair is so yellow she could be a huge banana.

Mariah performed at a half time show this past week and surprisingly wasn't half dressed. She probably made a mistake. This outfit was supposed to be for when she visits her grandma in the old folk's home probably. I guess the old men will be in for a treat when she wanders in with the REAL half time outfit.

Courtney Cox takes in some rays on her beachfront property.

Brooke Shields is showing now with her 2nd child. I wonder if Tom Cruise will splurge and get her a sonogram machine also....I won't hold my breath. He'll send her some vitamins maybe.

Eva Longoria is supposed to be on Saturday Night Live this weekend and apparently she is appearing in a spoof of the "Vanity Fair" cover episode and she will play the part of Teri Hatcher. Hissy fit and all!

David Beckham and his wife Victoria leaving their hotel. They are in a hurry. Must be rushing to a designer shoe sale somewhere. No not her, him.

Nope, this ain't Whoopi Goldberg. It's Janet Jackson. That's right, you read it right. Janet Jackson.

Lindsay Lohan was on Jay Leno last week. She flashed her legs to the crowd and apparently lap danced for another guest, some rapper while on the show. Her parent's must be so proud. Really.

Paris manages to still date Stavros despite rumors that they broke up.

Jennifer Garner is still pregnant and ready to burst!

Pamela Anderson was in BC Canada this weekend with her sons. She served as the Master of ceremonies for the Grey Cup parade and made an appearance at the actual game!

Pamela also makes sure to go to all of her kid's games whenever she can. Their team must win all the do young boys concentrate when this is on the side lines jumping up and down.

And since it got me the most comments ever last time I included Wentworth Miller on my blog. (HINT HINT)Here are a few more photos.

How will we occupy our Monday nights now ladies? Sigh.

Thursday, November 17, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 94

Stavros Niarchos is already fed up with all the chaos associated with Paris Hilton and has decided to break it off. Apparently things got way out of hand after the birthday party the couple went to in honor of Kelly Osbourne. The hotel suite Paris and Stavros shared at the Hard Rock Hotel in Las Vegas was left trashed.
A witness said: “The carpet was coated with pillow feathers. Every lamp was broken. A maid told us they ruined every pillow in the room. "
A friend of Stavros told Star magazine that “they broke up November 13. Stavros told Paris that things are out of control and he's through with the drama. He said to her, 'I need time to reflect. I should have been home today studying, instead I am here paying $100,000 worth of bills.'”

Well if STAR says it, it must be true. Really though, not surprising this guy is sick of her already. Aren't we all? She'd be a real catch for Kevin Federline. She's filthy rich, a skinny blonde and looks like she knows how to use birth control.

Sharon Stone settled the lawsuit she brought against a cosmetic surgeon last year. The case was brought by Sharon after American magazines Us Weekly and In Touch ran stories claiming that she had gone under the surgeon's knife. Stone's legal papers state she "has never undergone a face-lift in order to improve her physical appearance. ... Stone prides herself not only on her acting ability and other talents, but also on her natural physical appearance."

Yes, her acting abilities! Isn't she the actress who became famous for crossing her legs wearing no panties in "Basic Instinct"...... I will say she looks better now than she did in those days. Some people just age very well.

Reese Witherspoon will only star in movies her six-year-old daughter Ava Elizabeth approves of. Reese, who is also mother to Deacon, two, is famous for her romantic comedies, but insists it is important for her children to learn from her movies.
She says, "A lot of the roles I choose to do are because I have a daughter and I want her to see what women are really like women who are strong and accomplished. It's really important and it's nice to think that people are comfortable letting their daughters see the films I'm in. That's an important responsibility."

So I guess her daughter will be influenced by bits of her mom's movies......Reese's pieces....if you will. (Sorry couldn't resist)

Mariah Carey who just made a massive comeback in her career says that a set of dolls will be made in her likeness. Fans however may find it difficult to get one easily because they are a strictly limited edition, as an insider told the Daily Mirror:
"There'll only be 3,000 of them and while they're supposed to be for kids, they're likely to become an instant collectors' item."

Oh they'll be collector's items alright, but, not for kids. Perverts maybe. I imagine the Mariah doll will come with several sets of interchangeable breast implants, legs that don't close and lingerie for every occasion. You know, gardening, grocery shopping and the occasional interview.

Also they may have a "Mariah In Concert " version of the doll. I figure it comes with a microphone, dances like a stripper and sings in high pitch notes when you squeeze it's head.

Apparently, Madonna loves to say the "F- word" constantly.
The singer admits to The Sun, "It just feels so good to scream it out loud, sometimes positively, sometimes negatively. And I just love how it irritates everyone."

This is the same person who won't let her kids watch television because it's a bad influence?

Pamela Anderson is pissed at Jennifer Lopez and Sean "Diddy" Combs for continuing to wear fur. Pam, is an outspoken supporter of animal rights activists People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA).
She says, "It amazes me that some designers still turn animals into fashion victims. They're desperate for a fur comeback so they throw their pelts at any clueless celebrity, like Diddy or J.Lo, who'll wear whatever is free. I've written to them all to say that these animals are dying in agony - all for a tacky coat that makes you look like Bigfoot. Seriously, a fur coat just adds 20 years and 20 pounds to you, and if you get rained on you smell like a wet dog."

No celebrities will touch fur after this comment. 20 years older and 20 lbs fatter? No way, they won't touch it. Who says Pam's just a blonde bimbo?

Joaquin Phoenix will never joke in front of a journalist again. Joaquin was caught fiddling with his hair by a curious reporter and invented a quirky explanation. Now he regrets his little prank after it made an article.
He says, "I had a fly in my hair. I was brushing it away. Someone asked me what was wrong and I said something like, 'I have a frog on my head,' joking. Then I read that I said I had a frog in my hair. What am I supposed to do?"

That is funny. At least he didn't have a monkey on his back. (Ahem, Paris Hilton)
Here is Joaquin with a brunette Reese Witherspoon. They play Johnny and June Cash in the film "I WALK THE LINE."

Keira Knightley had a Tara Ried moment while posing on the red carpet of her premiere of "Pride and Prejudice" in New York, according to reports. The dress that Calvin Klein made just for her slipped down, reportedly exposing her left breast as photographers continued to snap away without telling her what happened.

I decided to post the picture BEFORE it happened. I like Kiera and those photographers were losers for not warning her. Besides, Kiera is like a double A cup - Nothing to see people....move on.

Anna Nicole Smith is rumored to have hooked up with a barmaid in West Hollywood last week. Tracy, the bartendar was later bragging about the night she spent with Anna Nicole, sharing digital photos with customers.
A source says, "Anna Nicole put her in handcuffs and her neck was covered with hickeys. They were doing that butt-slapping thing it was just bizarre. And her son was in the house."

I bet her sons friends are going to be sleeping over a lot more in the future.

David Beckham took his wife Victoria on a $40,000 night out. Victoria had been in Japan working on some denim designs for her line and a courier arrived unexpectantly with an airline ticket. She was flown to London at the top of a hotel and a suite filled with flowers and gifts. David and her dined at her favourite restaurant.
A spokesman for the couple said: "It was a lovely surprise for Victoria. She and David always make sure they take time out for each other. David went all out to impress his wife. They've also both been very busy working. He thought she deserved to be spoiled rotten and shown how loved she is."

Hmm....wonder who he's sleeping with now?

First it was reported that Tara Reid's was smashed at her 30th birthday bash last week. Now apparently she was on her best behavior because her mother was out with her.

Sheesh, If she started bringing her mother out with her A LONG TIME AGO...... she probably would still have a boyfriend, a career and her own show.

The 14-year feud between supermodels Tyra Banks and Naomi Campbell will be the focus of Friday's "The Tyra Banks Show." Tyra blames the media and the modeling business itself for turning the two of them against one another.
She also says, "Back then there were 10 top models but, there was an unwritten rule that only one of them could be black and Naomi was that one black girl."
Tyra reportedly says in person to Naomi, "I was tired of having to deal with you. I was tired of constantly hearing that I got canceled from this job or that job. One of the reasons I wanted to do this show is because sisterhood is so important to me. I feel like women hate on each other. We're jealous and it has to stop."

Tyra sounds like she is desperate these days for ratings. If she added a vat of mud and bikinis for the "face off" she would of gotten way more viewers.

Avril Lavigne and fiancee Derrick from SUM 41 are blinded by love.

Jessica Simpson goes to see a movie. Alone.

The ad for the new HARRY POTTER movie. Can't wait! Opens this weekend.

Kiera Knightley is transformed into a modern day Dorothy of THE WIZARD OF in an upcoming issue of VOGUE magazine.

Nicole Richie on Larry King Live. I figure she was either discussing what a bee-ach Paris is or the last time she ate a carbohydrate.

More photos from GQ Magazine of Jennifer Aniston.

She sure bends over backwards to be sexy.

Madonna on cover of the "Rolling Stone".

Britney and her mom Lynne Spears go to the vet....except I don't see a dog anywhere. Maybe she's getting Kevin some medication for his broken hand.

Matthew Mcconaughey has been chosen by PEOPLE MAGAZINE as the "Sexiest Man Alive."
I don't agree but, hey, I bet Penelope Cruz does.

Another man on the list. Nick Lachey. He's pretty hot as far as roadkill goes.

Patrick Dempsey of "Grey's Anatomy" made the list. Mostly cuz of his anatomy.

Clive Owens is on the list too. Rightfully so!

Vince Vaughn is there too. Looks good in this photo but, not my cup of tea.

Brad Pitt is listed also and did not win. He's won twice already so I don't think he really cares.

James Denton made the list 2nd year in a row. He makes Desperate Housewives everywhere want to break their toilets just to get the plumber over!

David Beckham is not on the list. He is gorgeous, athletic and very well dressed and if that's not enough to make your heart flutter...just look at him with two of his kids. Aw!

Will Estes plays Will on one of my favorite shows "REUNION". I think he should of made the list. He's got the boy next door look.

Johnny Depp has made the list in the past but, not this time. Just look at this man.

Ryan Gossling who is Canadian and was the guy from "THE NOTEBOOK" has smoldering good looks. Why isn't he on that list?

And finally, he did make the list but, alas not the top of it.He may be the SEXIEST MAN ALIVE OR DEAD. He plays Scofield on Prison Break, here he is...... Wentworth Miller from a GQ Magazine photo shoot.

(Arifa requested some Wentworth gossip and I didn't find any but, I am sure she will like this much better. Also for Wendy who wants to "rub his head." )
Your welcome ladies.