CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Thursday, October 20, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 72

Jon Bon Jovi is lashing out at Madonna. Jon says he keeps his children out of the media and has a problem with Madonna who he claims is a hypocrite because she won't let her kids watch tv but, she'll bring them to Hollywood outings with her. Says Jon, "She can say what she likes but Madonna takes those kids out to every premiere she ever goes to. I've been in this industry for 22 years and no one has any idea what my four kids look like. I keep my private life private and I always have. My kids don't have security guards outside their school because no one knows what they look like. And that's the way I'm going to keep it."

That's because when it comes to Bon Jovi - do you really care about his kids? I don't. I might in 20 years...especially if they are boys, but, not now.













Nick Lachey is denying that his marriage to Jessica Simpson is in trouble. Nick told the press,
"We just came back from Italy. We decided to celebrate a little early and do the romantic Florence wine-tasting thing. Not a hard place to feel romantic, si? Hey, there's no shortage of romance." he said. " In fact, "everything's perfect."

See. Everything's fine. They went to Italy, got drunk on wine and most likely passed out before 9pm. Typical married couple stuff.










Catherine Zeta-Jones is battling to regain her voice, after losing it while promoting her new movie The Legend Of Zorro. The Welsh actress has been travelling tirelessly to promote the movie, and all of her efforts have taken a toll on her throat.
She says, " I've had one of the busiest weeks for the last few months and I just woke up and it went. was travelling to Europe and promoting Zorro and then I started talking, talking, talking for days. Then I woke up the other day - nothing. It was terrifying."
But now that her voice is beginning to return, Zeta-Jones is enjoying the smoky quality it has taken on. She adds, "It's a cross between Demi Moore and Kathleen Turner. I'd like it to stay like this, as long as it wasn't ruining my voice."

I bet Michael Douglas, her hubby was in heaven! Any husband would be. First his wife can't talk at ALL and then when she does she sounds like a 1-976 phone operater!!











Lindsay's finally ditched those bleached blonde locks, which she acquired months ago for her role in Robert Altman's A Prairie Home Companion, in favor of something more flattering to her color scheme. Ms. Lohan revealed her new brunette look this morning in Los Angeles, according to People.

Here she is with the darker hair. I liked her best as a redhead and least as a blonde.










James Bond producer's are struggling over the new movie "Casino Royale" because the story features a scene where 007's testicles are hit with a carpet beater. Producers want the 2006 movie to be as close to Sir Ian Fleming's novel as possible, so have committed to recreating the scene in which Bond is held captive by baddie Le Chiffre. In the novel, the villain tells Bond - to be played by Daniel Craig - "I intend to continue attacking the sensitive parts of your body until you answer my question."
Director Martin Campbell says, "I'm still not sure how I will film that scene."

No wonder it took so long to find a new "James Bond"!The scene is being questioned because it involves a nude male being tortured...if it was a nude female nobody would blink an eye and it would be the longest scene in the film.














50 Cent is afraid he will never be in a longterm relationship, insisting his vast wealth makes it hard for him to find love.
He says, "I got things I'm really good at and things I'm not good at. I'm really good at writing music and handling my business. But women, I'm not really good at. Like keeping them - I'm no good. Women know when they look at me they wouldn't have to worry about finances ever again. So it's not difficult getting them, but it's difficult for me to keep them."

Gee, maybe it's because although gangsta guys may be fun to date, nobody wants to bring a hoodlum home to meet daddy. Fifty cent has been shot in the face so many times and has so many enemies I am surprised he can get anyone to stand beside him for more than a minute...much less a woman!













Kimberly Stewart and her dad Rod are battling it out. Over dog poo. Her small dog is constantly making a mess on the carpet.
"I'm fighting with my eldest daughter at the moment, but we'll get over it," confesses Rod "I'm like Ozzy Osbourne - I cannot stand it when there's poo and pee on the carpet. It drives me mad. Me and Ozzy have got that in common."

Uh, yeah and millions of other people hopefully.
Here's an idea, everytime the dog leaves a present on the carpet Rod should pick it up and put it in Kimberly's shoe, than on her pillow, in her breakfast......she'll get the hint in no time.










Jessica Alba wants to be a role model for women, proving that you don't have to be skinny to be sexy. She hopes that she'll encourage younger girls not to be so uptight about their weight. She says she is proud of her figure. She admitted she suffered from an eating disorder when she was younger. She said: "At the end of the day I just had to think that girls who have curves and aren't the skinniest things in the world are going to feel more comfortable seeing me as the main character than someone else. So I had to just think that maybe I would help young girls with their body image."

This is Jessica in a bikini. She's about as "curvy" as a q-tip! While I admire her attitude, she is still a slim girl and young girls will think this is the norm????














British singer Seal is overjoyed after his wife, Heidi Klum, gave birth to their son Henry last month, but wishes the media would stop referring to the baby as his first child.
Although the star has no other biological children, he has looked after Klum's daughter Leni with racing boss Flavio Briatore, since she was born last year.
Seal says, "Leni is my first child. Just like Henry I saw her take shape and move in Heidi's body. And I was present at her birth, too.
"Leni is my daughter and Henry is my son. I am happy to have two healthy children and that Henry will soon be saying Papa to me just like Leni does already."

What a man, what a man, what a man ...what a mighty good man....Here is Seal with Heidi and both their children.












Mariah Carey has taken a shine to the British accent and she's started using it in public in spite of the fact she is not from there nor does she live there. Mariah was practicing her accent at the Fashion Rocks event in Monaco this week. Then she told the Daily Mirror, "Dahling, I won't stop working on my accent until it's perfect."

What's next? She'll move to England become best buds with Gwyneth Paltrow, they can both whine and complain about how stupid they think Americans and British people are over tea and crumpets??
Bloody Hell.













Angelina not only has her own plane but, she is also learning to fly using only instruments. The plane actually has a parachute for the entire plane just in case she loses control of the aircraft. Angelina recently moved in to a rented estate near Calgary with Brad Pitt and her children, Maddox and Zahara, she had her flying instructor join her to continue lessons.

Wonder how many "'mile high" moments her and Brad enjoyed?










Carmen Electra, model/actress danced with the PUSSYCAT DOLLS before forming her own burlesque troup the "BOMBSHELL BABES".
She says, "I kind of feel like, in my profession, I'm sexiest when I'm on stage performing and dancing. I put on lingerie, fishnet stockings, garter belts, bras. So much time and effort goes into pulling an outfit together. . That's why, when I'm at home, I don't always feel like putting that stuff on. I'm really more of a T-shirt and sweats kind of girl. Except for when a fun and romantic moment comes up. Then, obviously, I dig into my bag of costumes. After all, I've got a lot to choose from.".

So the general public gets to see her scantily clad before her husband does? Her hubby Dave's a really good sport. He loves her outfits cuz when she's not home he gets to wear em!













Tom Cruise is reportedly planning to buy a home in his fiancee Katie Holmes' hometown of Toledo, Ohio. Toledo locals are preparing for celebrity neighbours. Dale Bruhl, who owns the nine-bedroom mansion which reportedly caught their attention, says, "The neighbours saw limousines in front of the house when real estate agents were showing it. I'm sure it's them. Her mother lives in the area."
Cruise's representative has hit out at the reports, stating, "Everyone wants Tom to buy a house in their neighbourhood, but it's not true."

Uh, I don't want Tom buying a house in my neighbourhood. Besides, NOBODY is allowed to put their feet on the couch at my place..........except the dog.









U2 singer Bono is never photographed without his trademark sunglasses because he suffers from an eye condition. He is aware his ever-present shades have given him a reputation as a poser, while the initial 'B' engraved on the side of them - which he claims stands for the brand, Bulgari - doesn't help either.
He tells the New York Daily News, "(I have) very sensitive eyes to light. If somebody takes my photograph, I will see the flash for the rest of the day. My right eye swells up. "

In other words he's had all the botox he can take and it ain't making a difference.













Queen Latifah of all people spent a lovely evening yesterday at the famous New York City strip club - Scores. Latifah and a group of friends hung out in the Champagne Room where they enjoyed several dances from lovely ladies.
A stripper said: "She is so nice, She treated me like a friend. It's great when someone who you are a fan of turns out to be a good person."

It's also great if someone you are a fan of and has LOT$$$$ of money comes into your club if you are a stripper.













SINGER Beyonce Knowles is believed to be pregnant, after she was reportedly seen out in London with a rounded stomach.
The pop star was seen dining with her boyfriend, Jay Z. The baby bump sighting follows rumours the couple are set to marry later this month. Knowles has dated Jay-Z for several years, with the couple refusing to comment on their relationship.

The mysterious "bump" was probably what she had for dinner or maybe the girl is bloated and retaining water...pulease why does the minute a celebrity not have a good stomach day everyone assumes they are preggers?















OUT AND ABOUT
In the words of rapper Eminem. I gotta say "I ain't ever seen an ass like that."
Jennifer Lopez tans her cheeks.









Nicole Ritchie splurges and pigs out on a lollipop.














Paris Hilton struts the catwalk at a fashion show.













Sienna Miller walks around looking miserable.

I think I know why....
Sienna (thinking to herself): "How could I be so stupid? I cut off all my hair to spite Jude and now I hate how I look. I miss my damn hair more than I miss that two-timing swine! Papparazzi won't leave me alone and I look like crap.....OOh, I know just the thing."













"This scarf should do it I will cover up my head and that will also metaphorically cover up all my problems.Nah, this won't work, the tabloids will think I have an illness."














"That's better. This hat does the trick. Nobody will ever recognize me now and my hair is covered up."














Passerby yelling: "HEY! Aren't you....Sienna...Sienna Miller's little brother??? Hey tell your sister I love her hair!"








CUZ I SAID SO!!

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