Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Sunday, October 16, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 68

People Magazine has offered up $2.5 million to Britney Spears and Kevin Federline for the first photos of baby Sean Preston, beating out OK! Magazine's offer of $2 million.
This weekend Britney and Kevin were seen out in Malibu for lunch together!!! Britney is looking slimmer than expected after only giving birth one month ago and although some thought it was due to fact that she is breastfeeding, Britney says she is back to a pack a day habit of cigarettes and that is why the 50lb she gained is coming off so quickly.

Here's how lunch went in my mind.....
BRITNEY: "See Kev - I told ya things would get back to normal. My tummy's coming back, I can smoke all day AND get drunk with you again. I must still have fans which means I can get more money. All the papparazzi still want my photos, see people still like me!"

KEVIN: "Brit, these stupid camera guys think you're Jessica Simpson and you're cheating on Nick. That happens a lot remember? Besides don't get so confident, you still have a long way to go for a flat tummy."

BRITNEY: "Yeah, well, it feels great to be out the house Kev. I just need to go out and be seen again. Ya know, feel like a superstar one more time."

BRITNEY: Y'all don't know what it's like for me lately. I'm trying read hard. I can't even finish a dang cigarette without that dang baby yelling for my sore breasts! Oh my God, Kev..........the baby! I forgot the dang baby!"

KEVIN: "%#%$%^% Britney! Well go on back home and get ....get....what's-his-face and bring me another pack of smokes and some cheezies on your way back."
BRITNEY: "Kev, that ain't fair, you know cheezies are my weakness. Dang that baby...what's-his-face. Why can't we just give him to your ex - she's got all your other kids."

Kelly Osbourne has announced she wants to do a duet with Miss Piggy. She said, “I just adore her. We grew up with The Muppets, and it’s always been my ambition to record a song with Miss Piggy. And I love her sense of style.”

Now, that explains everything!!!

Jennifer Lopez spends hours in the gym maintaining her famously big bottom because she loves hearing people comment on her shapely rear. She has worked with fitness trainers to develop an exercise regime involving squats and weights to perfectly tone her admired posterior.
She says: "I do special squats and work with loads of weights in the gym to achieve my butt.
"And in a way I'm kind of flattered when people compliment me for having a big ass."

Yes, she did squat a lot. All those wedding ceremonies at church where she had to kneel.
To her credit though, she had three good husbands.......some women can't even find ONE.

Beyoncé Knowles, who appears on this month’s Vanity Fair, is the first African-American woman since Tina Turner to grace the cover. But, is she too black? Apparently there is a lot of talk about the cover girl’s strangely pale appearance ever since the November issue hit newsstands. It is rumored that Beyonce's skin was digitallyto appear several shades lighter.
Vanity Fair is denying the accusations. They claim that any change in her skin tone was a result of lighting and makeup.

You be the judge. Here are some other mag covers she has been on recently. Her skin seems the darkest on the BLACK HAIRSTYLES magazine. Maybe they DARKENED her skin on their magazine! Maybe they are at fault here. I dunno.

Jessica Alba wants to fulfill her LIFELONG dream. She wants to become a "Bond" girl. The stunning actress grew up watching the 007 series movies was particularly intrigued by 007's famous female conquests.
She says: "I'm a huge fan of Bond - ever since I was little. I've looked at Bond women as being the most drop-dead gorgeous in the world."

Somebody's got a pretty big ego.......

Paris Hilton has written an apology letter to her former friend and "Simple Life" co-star, Nicole Richie, in hopes that they may move on . Back in April, the two had a falling out and Paris revealed, "It's no big secret that Nicole and I are no longer friends. Nicole knows what she did, and that's all I'm ever going to say about it,"

Nicole Ritchie could not be reached for comment but, she was seen with her fiance and he was carrying a barf bag. Coincidence? Maybe. Or maybe that's how Nicole keeps her boyish figure.

Chad Leslie, one of Nick's Lachey's oldest friends, is saying that Nick got a little too cozy with Chad's then-girlfriend Angela Bartlett sometime this year.
Chad tells In Touch Weekly: "Nick and Angela came into the bar where I worked at about 3:30 in the morning. Chad also claims that when he arrived home at 4:30am, Bartlett was nowhere to be seen, so he passed by Lachey's hotel and saw her car parked outside. Chad says when he later drilled his ex she said they opened a bottle of wine and Nick tried to kiss her, but she pushed him away. Chad didn't believe her , "Obviously, she was trying to hide something. She was in that room for an hour and a half, not answering my calls."

I would not cheat on my hubby but, If I was with Nick alone in a room I wouldn't answer my damn phone either. That's why they invented VOICE MAIL.....Here's Nick and Jess who are currenly vacationing in Italy.

Eva Longoria is planning to spice up the next series of her show DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES with an appearance by her boyfriend Tony Parker. Eva is eager to get the San Antonio Spurs basketball star a cameo in the hit series and insists producers are excited by the idea.
She says, "I'm not the only one who would like to get him on board. Everyone is thinking about it and making plans."
Parker, a regular viewer of his lover's show, says, "Eva makes me watch it. I like it."

Good answer buddy.

Melissa Etheridge admits she smoked medicinal marijuana to help with the side effects of chemotherapy during her treatment for breast cancer. She was diagnosed over a year ago, is now cancer-free.
"Instead of taking five or six of the prescriptions, I decided to go a natural route and smoke marijuana," Etheridge said in a US television interview. The singer said she smoked marijuana every day for her pain and symptoms but, claims now she has stopped.

Only her snack cupboard knows for sure... here is survivor Melissa and her lovely girlfriend.

Prince has been told that at the age of 47, he needs a hip replacement. The singer believes years of strutting on stage mixed with highly energetic dance routines have taken a toll on his joints.
"He used to wear high-heeled boots every day and doctors told him that may have contributed to his condition," a source told U.S. magazine the National Enquirer. "Over the years he has battered his body so much that his joints, especially his hips, are causing him a lot of discomfort." The singer has been told that only a full hip replacement will alleviate the pain and ensure he can keep dancing. He has been prescribed antiinflammatory drugs to help him cope with the condition.

So he can't wear heels for a while, he 's still smiling cuz he can still wear his wife's undies and probably is in this photo.

Rumor has it Jennifer Aniston is teaming up with her former Friends co-star and best friend -Courteney Cox to start a movie production company. She had co-founded with her ex-husband Brad Pitt when they were still together. Jennifer has no interest in " Plan B" which she created with Brad.
A source says: "She and Courteney are going to produce award-winning movies. This will be an equal partnership with just the two of them and they'll be great together."

So now Jen has cut ALL ties with Brad........Two more points for Team Jolie...who coincidentally turned out to be Brad's real life "PLAN B"

Madonna says she regrets the shocking and overtly sexual ways in which she paved her career during the 1990s. The superstar, who shocked us with her controversial Erotica music video and posed nude for her book Sex, admits her attempts to get people talking went too far.
She says, "I hurt people by confusing them. Sometimes I was being overtly sexual for the sake of showing off when I didn't need to be."

Is it possibly hitting home that her little girl will be a teenager one day? Can't really tell your kid she can't leave the house wearing a revealing top when the entire world has seen your nipples.
Here she is in the back seat of a car..... she's fully clothed, NOT with a man or two....she's with her I guess she really has changed!


Get off the sidewalks! Lindsay Lohan is back behind the wheel......

Sienna Miller who cut all her hair off recently got really pissed at the papparazzi on the weekend. Reason #714 why I could never be famous....horrible HAIRCUT and people taking pics of you ....I'd be furious too.

Newlyweds Demi and Ashton. Is it just me or does he suddenly look much more mature?

Matthew McConaughey visits girlfriend Penelope Cruz on the set of her new movie.

Christina Aguilera films another PEPSI commercial scene. She looks gorgeous here.

Supermodel Cindy Crawford who just turned 40 plays on the beach with one of her kids. Yes, this woman has given birth to two children.
Look at her body. I am sure everyone on the beach is...she looks annoyed.

Paris's latest sidekick...Bijou Phillips seems to REALLY REALLY like Paris.

Oh, silly me, they weren't making out. They were just sharing a lollipop. W.T.F????? That is nasty!
I wouldn't even share a cab with Paris Hilton.



Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

lol I love when u do the Brit and Kev dialogue its hilarious.

All those rumors about Nick and Jess... I dunno wat to believe cuz I honestly think Nick would cheat on her if things were doing really bad, but I dunno he looks to much of a good guy. Thats wat my friend's mom said, she thinks Jessicas the one cheating! =P

Yeh Christina looks gr8, thanks for posting pics! =D

9:34 AM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Andrew - have I mentioned you are the sole beneficiary of my will??
I love the way you comment to appease your old FAVORITE aunt.

12:14 PM  
Blogger [.a.n.d.r.e.w.] said...

^ LOL! =P

8:41 PM  
Blogger glor said...

I don't think they lightened Beyonce's skin per se...they just lightened the entire photo with the use of lighting when the took the picture. That's what my amateur photographer opinion thingsk. She doesn't look much darker in Vanity fair than in Rolling Stones, but it probably became an 'issue' cause people talk about how she's the first African-American to be on the cover since Tina Turner.

10:43 PM  

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