CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Thursday, October 06, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's volume 60

Rumor has it that Jessica Simpson and Nick Lachey are split up. According to the cover of US weekly out today,Nick and Jessica have called it quits. Mind you.. E! online reported that the couple had filed for divorce back in May only to retract the story an hour later.

This is the cover of the magazine.















If it is true this time, that would explain why recent photos of them seem to have Nick drunk and Jessica trying to fight back tears.......or maybe she is just constipated?



















Lindsay Lohan has been injured after her Mercedes crashed into a van in Hollywood. The actress and her passenger, thought to be her assistant, were taken to hospital with minor injuries. The driver of the van was also hurt. An eyewitness told CBS: "I was just walking down the street when her Mercedes-Benz sped north... and I guess... hit a red van head-on." She described how Lindsay and her passenger ran from the damaged car into a nearby antiques store: "I don't believe they were fleeing the scene, I think they were hiding from paparazzi who hang out in this area," the reporter continued.

Lindsay was shopping JUST before it happened. Poor thing, shopping for designer clothes, in her mercedes with her personal assistant........how will she cope?




















Here's her vehicle being towed away. Lindsay was not seriously hurt. Obviously there were paparazzi around cause they got this photo. Other rumors say that Lindsay was drunk but, those have not been confirmed.











And the story everyone's talking about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes are expecting their first child together, according to People magazine. Cruise's spokesperson confirmed Holmes's pregnancy to People magazine. "Tom and Katie are very excited, and the entire family is very excited," The spokesperson however would not comment on the baby's gender or say how far along the pregnancy is. The rep did say that Holmes, 26, "has never felt better."

I sure hope Katie doesn't have any "post partum" issues....requiring medication...we all know Tom's view on that.
Wasn't Katie telling everyone she was a virgin and would stay a virgin until she is married?
She lied!
Then again, Tom keeps saying he's straight...so they are even. I wonder if he was even in the room when this "blessed" event happened.



















Jennifer Lopez doesn't like her stomach. She says it is not what it used to be.
She says, "I'm very lucky: I've got good genes - I'm more in shape than I would be if I didn't do what I did. But it's tough, and I do have issues. My body is not what it used to be; my stomach is not flat. People are like, 'Your stomach is flat!' But I'm like, 'It used to be really flat, like it was concave."

That's right, women who HATE their stomach pose like this ALL the time.




















I suppose she detests her butt and her boobs as well?





















Blind singer Stevie Wonder could get his sight back - thanks to new microchip technology. Stevie has been blind since he was a baby and is in negotiations to become a guinea-pig for pioneering sight surgery. .
He says, "I've been tested and there was some possibility that I could maybe be a candidate.".

This is fantastic news for not only Stevie but, blind people everywhere! Hope it works.



















Jessica Alba was surprised when she learned that rapper Eminem sang about her in one of his songs. Eminem calls Jessica his "wife-to-be" in his D12 collaboration "My Band".
She says, "Eminem was in a gym, boxing or something, but I thought my best friend was in there. I come barrelling in all heated because I can't my friend and it's like five big dudes, Eminem and an empty gym. I was trying to act all casual, looking around this small gym that my best friend obviously wasn't in. Then I just left. That was the only encounter I ever had with him."

Gee, if I saw Jessica Alba all sweaty and half naked at the gym I'd probably write a song about her too....and I don't swing that way.



















British pop star Kylie Minogue has been praised by her singer sister Dannii for coping so "gracefully" with her breast cancer treatment. Kylie was forced to cancel the Australian leg of her tour when she was diagnosed with the illness in May.
On British morning TV show GMTV, her young sibling Dannii admitted the Minogue family had been going through "a tough time" since Kylie was first diagnosed.
Dannii explained: "It's quite a stressful treatment. She is handling it very gracefully. She is very well aware of the floods of love coming in for her and it's very helpful and supportive."

Kylie had a lump removed and is recovering however reports say that she has dwindled down to only 86lbs after her treatments.
Kylie is expected to make a full recovery.
Get well soon and make more catchy music!




















Madonna will perform at the MTV Europe Music Awards. She is set to sing her new single, "Hung Up," which will also mark the first time she's performed at the ceremony, which will take place in Lisbon, Portugal, on November 3.

When Madonna performed at The AMERICAN MTV music awards she made out with Britney Spears.
You can bet millions she won't be doing that again (Now kissing Britney is the same as kissing Kevin and kissing an ashtray and kissing a bag of cheezies ... you get the point)
I wonder how Madonna will top her controversial performance with Britney and Christina Aguilera. She'll be in Portugal...maybe she'll make out with a hairy woman!
Hey, that would be hotter than seeing her kiss Britney again.




















Tyra Banks came face to face with another woman who has her name........a porn star.......on her new talk show. Tyra was apparently shocked she was upon first hearing that the model/porn star was using her name. She says, "For a second I was like, 'Did they put my head on someone else's body?' I thought that it really did look like me. The first thing that went through my head... It wasn't anger, it was more of a curiosity'"
Porn star Tyra Banxxx has agreed to give up the name, insisting she never intended to offend her heroine. She tells the real Tyra, "Growing up, everyone always said I should be a model and everyone said I looked like you... You're an inspiration to me."

Here's the porn star who goes by the name Tyra Banxxx
(I had to "crop" this photo or you would know that she is not a natural blonde..)
And to find this picture I had to endure five million pop up windows of xrated porn sites. My husband is going to be so excited when he looks at our computer history.
The things I do for you people.



















Here's the REAL Tyra Banks....who if you ask me looks MORE like a porn star. I mean that in the nicest way possible.



















Heather Mills McCartney is speaking out on something else besides people who wear fur.....now she is speaking out against drugs.
She says, "I used to say, 'Only losers do drugs, Now I have a bit more understanding, I'm older and wiser but if I saw someone take a puff from a joint, I would freak out completely. With marijuana some people can smoke it and it does nothing, but if you've got a light chemical imbalance you can literally create so much damage to yourself and bring on paranoia and depression. All drugs are disgusting."

HELLO! She is married to Paul McCartney. He was in a rock band....in the 60's......!!! He admitted several times to smoking pot.
Heather must of been referring to people with no money who smoke pot.... or maybe she is really niave and when she finds Paul at 3a.m in the kitchen devouring his second bag of potato chips she just thinks he's hungry....from all that touring.













A member of Britney Spear's entourage is believed to have copied one of her personal video tapes - allegedly recorded while Britney was still expecting her baby- and is threatening to release it.
A source told America's US Weekly magazine: "He has threatened to release raunchy footage of Britney and Kevin taken before Spears looked pregnant."
During her pregnancy, Britney confessed her sex life was the best it had ever been.
The sexy singer insisted her bedroom romps with husband Kevin had been red hot since she conceived.
She confessed at the time: "I think it's the best. Sex is crazy good."
Now Britney and Kevin reportedly fear the home made sex video is about to be made public.

If it's any comfort Britney, we all FEAR that.
Gee, their sex tapes would sell millions. Not because they are sexy but, it's like that bad accident on the highway....somehow you just have to look.













celebs...OUT AND ABOUT......
Even though they announced their break up this week, Paris and Paris were seen out together yesterday having lunch.
Paris (blonde skinny pale one) looks like she is preoccupied with her cell phone while Paris (brunette hair skinny pale one) looks relieved lunch is over.
Paris probably got a text message from Lindsay Lohan saying "HOLY %^#$ I just hit a van - better lay low and not party tonight."





















Paris (Blonde skinny pale one) was later seen wearing this interesting outfit.



















Not so interesting you say?
Well it is CLOSE UP..........look at her t-shirt.......I'll let you try and figure out which photo is her front and which is her back....pretty hard to tell.....those could be her breasts or the bones on her back...you decide...































October 5th was Nicky Hilton.......Paris's sister's birthday.
I guess this is her way of saying this is the ONE day of the year the Hiltons don't want to be photographed.









Dane Cook (whoever that is) kissed Charlize Theron's butt.....literally on a talk show this week.
(Remember I told you a couple weeks ago Charlize kissed SHIRLEY MACLAINE's butt at a tribute party in her honor)













And..........Brad in his new print ads for TOYOTA.
LADIES........Start your engines....



















VROOM VROOM!!!!!!!!



















CUZ I SAID SO!

8 Comments:

Blogger Dill said...

I JUST E-MAILED NADIA AND SAID VIRTUALLY THE SAME THING ABOUT TOM AND KATIE.I THOUGHT WHERE THERE'S SMOKE THERE'S FIRE ABOUT HIM BEING GAY. AND YEAH WHAT ABOUT HER WANTING TO BE A VIRGIN WHEN SHE MARRIED? IS SHE ANOTHER BRITTNEY WHO CLAIMED TO BE A VIRGIN LONG AFTER WE KNOW WHE WASN'T? I AM SO CONFUSED.. DOES NOBODY MEAN WHAT THEY SAY ANYMORE??????

6:28 AM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

Oh people...it's clear. Katie is having an alien. Have you not seen 'Invasion' the new show??? Tom is the Big Kahuna and Katie is his Queen Bee...LOL

Be afraid...and stay out of the water!!

8:44 AM  
Blogger Dill said...

Just heard on the news that Britney is pissed off at hubby cause he is neglecting his fatherly duties......it took me 10 minutes to get off the floor, from laughing, to write this to you.....I won't say the obvious.

11:26 AM  
Blogger Pink Pen said...

Even funnier about the Heather and Paul McCartney story... he admitted a few years ago that at least one of his songs ("Got to get you into my life") was about pot....

Then, this morning on the radio, they told a story about how Heather heard "Come Together" and asked Paul if it was one of his.

Duh.

4:15 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Dill, That Britney story cracked me up to......on blog w.t.f volume 61 - we all knew this would happen.

10:53 PM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

Pink Pen....thanks for dropping by. I am going to link your blog from mine......it's great!

10:54 PM  
Blogger Eclecta said...

Okay, I *know* Brad is sacred to you, Linda, but for crissakes what's wrong with his head in these photos? It's like it's too heavy for his body!

Just had to ask ...

C.

6:25 AM  
Blogger Chelsea's Mama said...

You know what they say about men with big heads.....
they have big.......
brains.

9:53 AM  

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