CUZ I SAID SO!

Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, October 05, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 59

Ashlee Simpson will have the chance at another "live" performance on comedy show "Saturday Night Live" this weekend. The singer has faced almost a full year of embarassment after a blunder on the show, when she held her microphone at waist level while a pre-recorded version of her hit "Pieces of Me" was played. Ashlee has since expressed her desire to return to the live show, and her chance will come this Saturday.
She has also written a song called "Beautifully Broken" about the incident.
She says, "The song is about it's okay to mess up, that it's okay to do bad. It's very normal, actually."

To err is human, to get caught lip syncing on a show called Saturday Night LIVE is another thing.




















Mariah Carey is thankful for the breakdown she suffered four years ago because she helped her see the light. The singer collapsed suffering from exhaustion in 2001, resulting in a hospital stay which she now blames on a punishing and self-imposed work schedule.
But she insists: "My breakdown was my breakthrough. After my marriage ended. I worked myself into the ground. Eventually my body reminded me that I was human and I needed to create balance in my life."

I don't think Mariah ever fully recovered.
Only a crazy person would leave the house like this.
Or a porn star.




















Desperate Housewives star Marcia Cross is so eager to start a family with new fiance Tom Mahoney, she's planning to adopt if she struggles to conceive naturally. The actress fears she may have difficultly becoming pregnant because of her age.
She says: "I've always seen myself as a mother, and I will have children - whether naturally or by adoption. If you want to have kids, have them. You don't need to be in a couple to do that. Freeze your eggs, look into adoption."

Her character "Bree" would never ever consider adoption?
An unknown gene pool?
NEVER!
















Tara Reid has bashed pal Paris Hilton "stupid" for making a homemade sex video. Tara who is close friends with Paiis, claims her friend was foolish for agreeing to film a private sex tape and insists she would never get into porn herself. She told Britain's Arena magazine: "What she's done in her career and what I've done are two different things. I've never done porn. I've never made one. I'm not stupid enough to put myself on video. "

Apparently, Tara is only stupid enough to be caught in pictures being a tramp.
The ONLY reason no sex tapes have ever been released of this girl is because she passes out before second base.














"Hi, I'm drunk. No, I um, I am Tara. I hang out with stars ya know. I'm drunk. Do you like vodka? I LOVE Vodka...especially SCREWdrivers!" (AS SHE SPITS ALL OVER THE GUY) "You wanna what? OK? Sure! Why not? Gotta take it while (BURP) you can (BURP)...just give me a minute, I gotta find my bra. ....Oh I wasn't??? I'm so bad! (HICCUP) You wanna go get a room or go to the bathroom or maybe the alley is better? (BURP) I jis love doin it outside..............ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ."




















Paris Latsis has only kind words for his ex-fiancee, Paris Hilton. The 22-year-old shipping heir called Paris "The most incredible woman I have ever met in my life," in a brief statement released Monday.
He also said, "I respect her decision and appreciate the very kind and generous manner in which she is handling her very difficult decision," Latsis said. "This was the best experience of my life and I will always be grateful for it."

I'm telling you people, this guy was gay. She was a cover up. If she was the best experience of his life why is he letting her go?
I know why...her boyish figure and male model face reinforced to him that if he is going to marry a female to cover up his "secret" - BETTER to marry a nobody so the press isn't chasing him around all the time. That way there could never be any photos of him leaving a bath house or a Barbra Streisand concert.













More Paris Hilton news- You know she her fiancé Paris Latsis, 23, a month ago but only formally announced it last week - BUT, did you know she has been romancing Mary-Kate Olsen's ex-boyfriend, Stavros Niarchos, 20, who is ALSO a shipping heir...hmmm. On Friday, the new duo showed up at Spider Club in L.A. and "made out all night and closed the place down," a spy said. The next night, the couple was at Element with Paris' sister Nicky. Paris "tried to get the club to turn the lights down so no one could see her and Stavros make out," another spywitness recalled. "
This obviously may threaten Paris's friendship with Mary-Kate Olsen.

And we know how much Paris values her friendships. She used to be best buds with Nicole Ritchie, then Lindsay Lohan, she went on to Tara Reid and then seen with Kimberley Stewart.
In fact, I think Paris stays in MALE relationships longer than her female ones.






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Madonna has 72-pint servings of Timothy Taylor's Landlord beer delivered to her house because she can't buy it near her secluded home. Madonna acquired a taste for the brew after drinking it at the Dog and Duck pub in London's Soho with husband Guy Ritchie.

Either Madonna's been kissing ass, which I highly doubt.... or she REALLY loves that beer!
Look at her brownish yellow tongue.
EW.




















Courteney Cox is considering having plastic surgery if she starts looking too old for husband David Arquette. She is 41 and he is 34.
She says, "I think he did play a bit hard to get which made him more interesting. I really thought he was too young. Then I realised just how good a person he is. Simply terrific. And he'd call me every day and tell me I was terrific. Which kind of helped. I try not to let the age thing bother me - unless I ever look at the screen when we're working and think, 'Oh my god, I look so old next to him.' "Then I really will consider plastic surgery."

First of all if this story was about a MAN 8 years older than his wife it wouldn't even be a story.
Secondly, do you think Courtney will ever be unnattractive in her hubby David's eyes?
Not if this photo is any indication......he ADORES her.

Aw.



















Matt LeBlanc has a large tattoo of a panther on his butt due to a drunken night out with a pal.
He did this several years ago and it is a permanent reminder of his wilder days.
He says, "I got it when I first got to California. When I first moved out there and I was with a buddy of mine who helped me move, we had a couple of beers and he said, 'Let's go get tattoos!' I said, 'That sounds like a great idea! "

Sheesh! His real life antics make his character Joey look like a genius.





















Wilmer Valderrama who plays FEZ on "That 70's show" is now rumored to be dating Jamie Pressly. Wilmer was seen making out with Jamie who is currently on the new NBC sitcom "My Names Is Earl," at a trendy spot over the weekend according to Page Six.
Wilmer who has previously dated Lindsay Lohan and Mandy Moore, has been staying in Las Vegas to attend his celebrity pal Ashlee Simpson's 21st birthday party at a nightclub in Caesars Palace.

Here's Jamie who also dated Kid Rock and a slew of other celebs.
And Lindsay was jealous of Wilmer being with Ashlee?
LOOK OUT.




















Justin Timberlake is being lined up to play one of the most controversial figures in rock history - the Sex Pistols frontman Johnny Rotten.
Johnny Rotten, who's real name is John Lydon, wants Justin to play him in the movie about his controversial life.
However, Johnny Rotten has difficulty remembering his name.
He says: "I've asked Jason Timberlake to do it. He hasn't said yes but I think it would work because he's a damn fine singer but, he's beginning to look bored."

Justin should take the role. How hard can it be to play a drugged up punk rock alcoholic? Especially one who's whole life is a foggy haze?
Justin can improvise all he wants - it's not like Johnny Rotten is going to notice.




















Jennifer Lopez revealed to Us Weekly that she has a weakness for the Kentucky Fried Chicken. On her husband Marc Anthony's tour, Jennifer and her hubby ate a tub of chicken and both agreed that K F C was their fast food of choice. Anthony piped in, adding, "You get free cake with a bucket."

What free cake?
The only mind boggling item in this story is that Marc Anthony ate something.



















Beyonce is denying rumours her manager father Mathew is controlling every aspect of her career.
She tells New York Post , "People expect my father to be like Joe Jackson, (Michael Jackson's father) because that's been the pattern when parents manage children. People think that he just controls everything and does everything, but I actually control everything. I had a very healthy, happy childhood. My mother made sure of it, and I love her for it."

As long as Beyonce doesn't open up a ranch, start having sleepovers and hosting pin the tail on my booty parties..... then I guess I believe her.



















OUT AND ABOUT
The lovely Carmen Electra and her husband Dave Navarro go to a movie screening.
Do you think they share the mascara or they have their own tubes?



















Mama Spears stocking up on Hallowe'en decorations. No, not Britney, but, HER mama Lynn Spears. She was smart not to buy any candy yet. Britney may polish it all off before the 31st! (I know I would.....)




















David Beckham's got yet another new do.




















Drew Barrymore sure is perky.
Why is it always the women who need a bra won't wear one?



















Jessica Simpson forgot to turn her headlights off!



















And finally, here is porn star JENNA JAMES who has recently taken up golfing.

Great....this is all I need.
Like my hubby doesn't go golfing enough as it is.......
hee hee DON'T TELL HIM.




















CUZ I SAID SO!

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