Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Monday, September 26, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 52

Britney Spears has a severe case of the baby blues since giving birth to Sean Preston, she’s now said that the pain she had to go through in childbirth was too much and she doesn’t want any more children. A source close to Britney told the Daily Star there is no way she will allow herself to go through that emotional and physical pain again. The singer is also reportedly devastated by her 51lb weight gain and the huge scar left on her famous belly by the Caesarean section. She is reported to have burst into tears when she looked at herself in the mirror. “Pregnancy has ruined her sexy body,” said a friend. “She doubts she’ll ever be able to look as good as she used to.” Britney, who needed hospital treatment throughout her pregnancy for stomach pains and uterus complications, has allegedly told husband Kevin Federline that if he wants to have more children, they will have to adopt. And this despite the fact that Kev held her hand throughout the entire operation and “was very affectionate toward her,” according to a source.

Ofcourse Kevin held her hand - that way she couldn't hit him with it. Did Britney really expect that childbirth would not involve pain? Especially a casearean? I guess she thought having the baby would be as fun as it was when she made it? Everything seems fun when you're drunk - just ask Tara Reid! Anyhow, Britney was out tanning just this past weekend. Looks pretty relaxed to me but, then again precious Sean Preston isn't screaming in her ear or tugging greedily at her nipple.

And here is Kevin walking across their huge backyard to be by his wife's side.

He seems to be carrying a large bowl? Maybe they are going to have cheezies for lunch? Kevin seems to have a message to the paparazzi overhead.....and it ain't "have a nice day."
Wonder who's watching the baby.
I hope it's not Bit Bit, Britney's chihuahua. Sadly, Bit Bit would probably do a better job.

Meanwhile, Brooke Shields who suffered from severe post partum depression after her daughter was born has announced she wants another baby. You may recall she told the world she had severe depression after her baby was born and almost took her own life as well as that of her child. She had said that anti-deppressants finally cured her of her illness. This caused controversy when Tom Cruise later said on a talk show that the pills were not necessary and Brooke was using them as a crutch.
Brooke says she is willing to take the chance that the illness will reappear with her next child because she feels she is more aware of the issue and will take the pills again if necessary.

Brooke should offer to take care of Britney's baby. That way she can see if she is ready to be a mother again, Britney can tan more often and workout, Kevin can go partying and Bit Bit can get a break from the baby. Everybody's happy.

By the way, don't expect Tom Cruise to be jumping on a couch when he hears the news....

Russell Crowe is convinced the movie industry has turned him into a another person.The actor, who stands accused of throwing a phone at a New York City hotel employee in June blames the pressures of acting have made him mentally unstable.
He said at a recent press conference, "I'm a complicated, psychologically damaged weirdo.
"That's the requirement for my job and it's unfortunate people don't simply understand that and leave me to my padded cell."

I have a sneaky suspicion that he was a complicated damaged weirdo LONG before he became famous. I mean when every picture taken of you looks like a mugshot.....

Mischa Barton's current relationship with Whitestarr singer Cisco Adler has upset Adler's ex-fiancée - Kimberly Stewart. reports that Kimberly had some trouble getting past their breakup (she had to have a tattoo on her stomach altered from "Daddy's Little Girl Loves Cisco" to "Daddy's Little Girl Loves Disco") got into a screaming match with Mischa recently after learning about the new relationship.
"Kimberly is finally over Cisco, but she was furious that a friend of hers would date her ex," a source close to Stewart tells Radar. "She called up Mischa and gave her an earful."

For those of you who don't know Mischa is currently Nicole Ritchie's best friend and Kimberly is Paris Hilton's buddy. So, this could get interesting.

Now, after eight days of bad press, Kate Moss has made a public apology. In a statement yesterday, the supermodel who had been photographed snorting cocaine said: "I take full responsibility for my actions. I also accept that there are various personal issues that I need to address and have started taking the difficult, yet necessary, steps to resolve them. "I want to apologise to all of the people I have let down because of my behaviour which has reflected badly on my family, friends, co-workers, business associates and others. "

In other words she wanted to snort all the cocaine she had before she knew she would be forced to go to rehab.

Sienna Miller could replace Kate Moss as the face of Burberry's advertising campaigns, according to reports in The Daily Telegraph. Kate was dropped by the company following allegations of drug abuse. Actress Sienna is dating Jude Law and Jude is the ex-husband of Sadie Frost, one of Kate's best pals.

Sienna went to her sister's wedding this weekend without Jude. I guess she didn't trust him around any of the bridesmaids.

Angelina Jolie made a young cancer patient's wish come true on last week, paying a visit to 6-year-old Dylan Hartung. The actress spent more than an hour with the boy at Manhattan's Ronald McDonald House. Dylan, who's suffering from a nerve cell cancer that has spread to his bones, has been staying there with his mom since January while he undergoes treatment at a nearby Medical Center.
Jolie "introduced herself as Angie and said, 'I heard you are a very special boy. I've been eager to meet you,'" Dylan's mother Melissa tells PEOPLE. "She gave him a cuddle and a kiss. He told her that she was his ultimate 'Chickie Babe' and she just laughed."
The pair talked about Jolie's movies - Dylan's favorites include Tomb Raider, Mr. and Mrs. Smith and Gone in 60 Seconds - and looked at Dylan's rock collection together, says Melissa, who called the actress "very relaxed and very lovely."

See why I always rave about my girl Angelina? She is lovely inside and out. A true rarity in Hollywood or anywhere for that matter.

Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher were married on Saturday two celebrity magazines reported on Sunday. Both Us Weekly and People magazine reported on their Web sites that the couple were married in Los Angeles area on Saturday. The wedding was attended by about 100 of the couple's friends, including Moore's second husband Bruce Willis. Also at the wedding were actress Lucy Liu and Demi's three daughters from her marriage to Willis.

Boy, all those people who said this wouldn't last were so wrong. They got Punk'd!

A few weeks ago Kanye West spoke out at a telethon for hurricane Katrina victims. He strayed from the script and voiced his opinion that "George Bush does not care about black people."
Now he is stirring it up again.Kanye spoke out at white musicians who try to sound black, insisting artists should stick to what they do best. He said, "I hate music where white people are trying to sound black. The white music I like is white. ".

I agree with him on one thing, artists should stick to what they do best...he should just sing his songs, spend his money and SHUTUP already.

Jenny McCarthy is denying rumors that since her recent divorce she is now on the rebound with comedian Jim Carey.
"I've met Jim once, and that was about it, usually the rumor of who I'm with lasts a couple weeks. Right now they're moving up in tiers, in levels, so I'm really happy that it's become A-level. First they said I was with Tommy Lee, then Carson Daly; so now I'm at Jim Carrey -
all I know is, I've become best friends with my vibrator. And that's what I plan on getting sex from. Invest in Duracell! I go through a lot of batteries."

Um, ever hear of the saying "TOO MUCH INFORMATION" Jenny?
Obviously not, Jenny was recently on the Howard Stern Show and told him that she can pee her self if she is tickled. He asked her to prove it and she did.
And they say there are no classy women left in Hollywood.....

Lenny Kravitz is rumored to have set his sights on Alicia Keys.

Probably because he has dated everyone else that is under twenty five in Hollywood. Lenny's around 44 years old. They would make a great looking couple though. Then again Alicia is so pretty she would almost make someone like Mickey Rourke look good.
I said almost.

Nicole Kidman has brushed off rumors that she is dating country singer Keith Urban. Nicole says that filming her latest movie on location will keep her too busy for much of a social life.
"I have been so focused on preparing for this that I haven't really taken into account what I am going to be doing on the weekends," she said last week. They work me really hard on this film ... I think I have one day off."

In other words he wasn't interested huh Nicole?

Anna Nicole Smith is happy with her perfect breasts after undergoing five operations to get them just right. The busty celebrity lost her boobs when she gave birth to her son in 1986 and she spent years getting them back to their original state and then supersized them.
She said, "I went up to 211 pounds so I stretched to double Fs and when I lost all the weight I went way back down, except my skin didn't. It was not pretty." Anna admits she opted for a C-cup implant but didn't like the way her nipples pointed downwards, so she supersized to a D, then a double-D and then an F before settling for her current choice, the size of which she refuses to disclose.
She's happy to clear up a few rumours about implants: "I've heard a rumour that I have two implants in each boob. Now, if anyone could show me how that would work I'd really like to see it myself." . She explains her new breasts are like tires - they need changing from time to time: "You get scar tissue. You have to go in every five years and change them out."

Anna Nicole has had so many surgeries on her breasts in fact that she has become one big boob herself. And when you pay all that hard earned money you made by sleeping with a geriatric pervert (Lord rest his soul) - you want to show them off as often as you possibly can. So what if you are grocery shopping or at church. The world needs to see them!

Jodie Foster took her kids to see nature documentary THE MARCH OF THE PENGUINS and ended up confronting the bitter woman in front of her, who turned on her kid for quietly asking questions in the dark.
Jodie recalls, "This woman went berserk. She started with the shushing from the get go... and then she starts yelling at me. Finally, I just turn into the most perfect police officer where I was whispering, 'You know, you're really disturbing everybody, and I think it would be a good idea if you moved if you're not happy.' It almost came to blows. I'm pretty sure I did say something offensive at some point, something like, 'You're awfully young to be that bitter.' "She really lost her mind. But I was insulted. I understand. I go to a movie, I don't want to be disturbed. But don't go to a noon Sunday matinee of a family movie. I mean, what do you expect?"

Precisely why I don't go to Sunday matinees.
Anymore that is.
I am usually the one who gets told to shutup.
Here is Jodie looking very purdy.

Alice Cooper plans to poke fun at Paris Hilton on his current tour - he has hired a lookalike to fight with a chihuahua onstage. The concert will feature Paris and her pampered pooch Tinkerbell on Alice's Dirty Diamond's Tour.
He says, "Is anybody not tired of seeing these divas with these little chihuahuas in their purse?
"I said, 'What would happen if one of the chihuahuas went for her throat and she's on the floor beating this dog. "The audience is dying laughing because everybody wants to see that."

Um, no...not everybody wants to see that.
I don't mind the ridiculing of Paris Hilton but, I don't like the "beating of the dog" part.
Wait until Heather McCartney finds out about this. You can run Alice but, you can't hide... especially since no other sixty year old men wear mascara and eyeliner.....well, except for Ozzy.

LEAVE THE DOGGIES ALONE! Stick to drinking baby spider's blood or whatever it is that you do.

Jennifer Aniston has developed an insomnia problem because loves to get up and start the day.
She admits she often lies in bead willing the sun to come up.
She says, "I don't sleep. I'm planning a lot in a weird way. It's sleep where I wake up and go, 'Oh God, the sun's going to come up soon and that means I get to have a cup of coffee and then read the paper, that'll be fun.'
And she also says that living alone with her dog is "pretty fantastic" because she gets to enjoy her favourite time of day on her own. She adds: "I love the sunsets... I have a photo album from the last house I lived in that's the most boring photo album because all it is is 10 years of sunsets."

Jennifer, maybe it's time you started telling a therapist this stuff and not the press?

At the beginning of her singing career, Sheryl Crow was mistaken for another celebrity by a crowd in Las Vegas. They thought she was former Hollywood Madam Heidi Fleiss.
She tells Blender magazine, "My first record had just broken and these guys wanted my autograph. I thought, 'Oh God, they recognise me. Turns out they thought I was Heidi Fleiss."

Well, they do not look alike but, I could understand if Sheryl was dressed like this at the time.

I'm kidding. I love Sheryl Crow and think she looks lovely here. Trampy but, I like it.

Friends of Jennifer Garner say that her husband Ben Affleck is overly paranoid about his soon to be born child. Apparently he calls Jennifer several times a day to see how she is feeling and if she has eaten. He wants to have a healthy baby and Jen's friends say although he is overbearing at times, Jennifer finds his behavior endearing.
Meanwhile he is smoking still around his wife. TSK TSK.

He probably got that OVER PROTECTIVE habit from when he was dating Jennifer Lopez. She seems like someone who want to be fussed over constantly. Except his calls to her probably consisted of checking up her another kind of bump. "No, baby you don't have a fat ass, it's perfect, yes perfect, so perfect, it's divine, really, It's beautiful, I love it, I'll kiss it in your next video baby."

Portia De Rossi turned down the chance to romance Angelina Jolie in 1998 TV movie Gia - because she feared she'd have to come out as a lesbian. Portia says she was deteremined to hide her secret when the offer of a gay sex scene with Jolie, who has often come clean about her bisexuality, came along. She tells gay magazine The Advocate, "I wouldn't even drive down Santa Monica Boulevard (gay capital of Los Angeles)... in fear that someone would look in the car window and think I was gay.

I bet Portia is kicking herself every day about not getting a chance to lock lips with Angelina. Portia's real life girlfriend Ellen DeGeneres probably suddenly understands why Portia insists that Ellen don a brunette wig and chasing her around the house with a gun.
Since when does Ellen carry a purse? It's probably her "Lara Croft" costume bag for when things really nice spicin' up.

Pics from Nicole Ritchie's birthday last week. Her and her fiancee DJ A.M. sure look cute together. He took her to Disney Land.

OH MY! Nicole did have cake....but, did she eat it too? That is the question.



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