Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's volume 44

Brad and Angelina rumored to be married in October when his divorce is legally over from ex wife Jennifer Aniston.

I propose they have a Hallowe'en wedding. Brad can wear his TROY costume again. Yummy.

Pop star Britney Spears is planning to have a Caesarean when her child is ready to make an appearance. "I don't want to go through the pain," she told Elle magazine. "My mom said giving birth was the most excruciating thing she's ever gone through in her life," she added.

Oh I am sure your mom is still going through pain everytime she sees your hubby Kevin use one of your credits cards.

It's ok Britney, You'll get your flat abs back again..... one day.

And all those sit ups.........well, those might be painful...

Seal and Heidi Klum have a son! Heidi Klum has given birth to a healthy baby boy, a German tabloid reported Tuesday. The baby was born late Monday. The baby is the first child for Klum and her husband, singer Seal. Klum has a 16-month-old daughter, Leni, from her previous relationship with Formula One manager Flavio Briatore

Heidi must be SOOOOO Relieved. She looked like she was about to burst!

Destiny's Child has denied that they are already planned a second comeback, insisting they will focus their efforts on their solo careers. Beyonce Knowles' rapper boyfriend Jay-Z has claimed they will return in 18 months time even though they just announced they will no longer be performing together.

I hope they don't pull a "Cher" and have yet another final concert farewell tour. I don't think they will - I think all smiles aside the trio is sick of each other.

Martha Stewart was Donald Trump's third choice to appear as a judge on the second series of "The Apprentice" and he doubts whether her show can better his version of "The Apprentice."
Trump tells Page Six, "I did consider two others along with Martha -Martha has been a friend for a long time, and I think she's going to do terrifically. But, it's going to be tough to beat the first Apprentice.'"

Donald is miserable most of the time because he can't go to the washroom. Look at his face...he is obviously constipated.

Matt Damon's publicist told Us Weekly that Damon proposed to Luciana Barroso shortly before Labor Day. The couple has been dating for about two years. They haven't set a wedding date.

Matt always said he did not want to marry a celebrity because he thought the press was relentless about privacy when it comes to a famous couple. I suppose he saw it first hand, he is Ben Affleck's best friend. Remember all the press around Ben when he was dating Jennifer Lopez a while back?

Matt is a smart guy to marry a nobody. Well, she is a somebody ofcourse - you know what I mean. Besides "you're nobody till somebody loves you"...who sang that anyway?

Supermodel Tyra Banks was left in tears while filming a preview for her upcoming TV chat show when producers asked her to revisit the California home where she grew up. Tyra hadn't returned to the neighbourhood for years and admitted it was a very emotional experience.
She was left speechless when she found the house where she lived with her mother after her parents divorced when she was six.
She sobbed: "Oh my gosh, I knew this was gonna happen. We went from a house that I thought was a mansion to a one-bedroomed apartment."

I bet all the males in the neighbourhood were crying like babies as well. Tyra could of been their very own "Girl Next Door". Oh well, that is why they call them fantasies, cause they aren't reality!

Gwen Stefani's husband, Gavin Rossdale, is amazed their marriage survived the media circus surrounding the surprise revelation that he has a 16-year-old daughter, especially considering they had only just wed.
In October 2004, the former Bush rocker was stunned to discover his teenage "god-daughter" Daisy Lowe was the product of his brief 1980s affair with singer Pearl Lowe.
Now Rossdale is determined to keep their marriage as private as possible.
He says, "It's not the best recipe for the start of a marriage.
"It's been so much more difficult because it was made so public and that is why neither of us talk about it."

Ok, let's look at this closely, he fathered this child SIXTEEN years ago and did NOT know he was the father until recently. How exactly does this have anything to do with his marriage to Gwen? It's not like the poor guy lied (he didn't know) or cheated (it was SIXTEEN years ago)
What in fact is there to discuss with Gwen - Except maybe that unless you are under twelve or in the nursing profession - you should not be wearing tights like this?
Personally, I am surprise their marriage survives when she is constantly accompanied by those HARIJUKO girls!!!

Lindsay Lohan is causing trouble yet again. Or maybe just Star magazine is. They are claiming this week that Lindsay Lohan has a major crush on Demi Moore's beau Ashton Kutcher or so says a source close to Lindsay.

Is there a MAN shortage in Hollywood? Why is this girl always after everyone else's man?

Which leads to another Ashton story. Ashton is dating Demi Moore and will be appearing on television with Demi's ex-husband Bruce Willis.. They're now set to co-star in a special episode of That '70s Show. Bruce will play a security guard interviewing Ashton - who quit the show last year and appears in a cameo.

Despite the Demi connection these two men get along fact Demi and Willis get along wonderfully as well.

And Lindsay Lohan wants to break up this happy home?? She should be ashamed of herself!

'Desperate Housewives' star Eva Longoria claims she wears "size zero" clothes. Eva claims that the smallest UK size four - is the only one that fits her properly and she has a nightmare trying to find sexy clothes that fit her tiny frame.
She is quoted by Britain's Britain's New magazine as saying: "I am a size zero. I've never really been bothered about fashion, but I'm so tiny that all I want is for clothes to fit me

Poor poor Eva. She is beautiful. She is on the most popular television show. And now, woe is me she is so tiny and a size zero.
Cancel the latest Hurricane Katrina benefit, poor Eva needs sympathy more than those people do. All she wants is to find clothes to fit her itty bitty frame......To think all those Hurricane people want is a place to call home.

Jennifer Lopez insists all her staff call her 'Mom'. Jennifer confessed she asks her employees to address her as 'Mom' because she feels so maternal to them all. She explained: "Everybody calls me Mom in my real life everybody who works for me. I guess I'm just a caretaker." Oh they call you mom alright. Especially when you are being your diva self. Well, not exactly mom but, mother....mother...something??? I better not say.

I havn't read anything on Tara Reid lately and I got concerned that maybe she was drunk in a ditch somewhere. So I did some research....turns out I was half right.

Last but, certainly not least.........LISA...This is for you (Read comments from W.T.F volume 43 if you don't get it)

Alright, alright, maybe a little for me too.



Blogger Bernadette said...

Linda...I love this. I definitely don't have to watch ET anymore. You have a gift...this is hilarious.

Incidentally I watched Martha twice this week...not sure if I like it...she was very stiff..could be she isn't use to NOT having the ankle braclet yet...


8:42 AM  
Blogger Bernadette said...

I too have had weird comments on my mostly. But I did have a comment from a woman from North Carolina...go figure.

I famous!! I'm a celebrity..who needs the TIFF...(Toronto International Film Festival)

8:43 AM  

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