Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Friday, September 30, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's volume 56

Lindsay Lohan who was rail thin just weeks ago wants to show off her new healthier figure and plans to show it all off in an upcoming Vanity Fair cover.
According to America's In Touch magazine, Lindsay just did the photo shoot on a beach in California last week and it was actually her idea to pose naked.
A source says, "It was Paris Hilton's recent Vanity Fair cover, where she's topless and covering her breasts with her arms, that inspired Lindsay to push the envelope even further."

And who ever said Paris Hilton is not a good influence on young girls?

Here is Lindsay on the set of her new music video.

Jennifer Lopez refuses to throw any of the shoes away. She says, "I have so many shoes because I don't throw any of them out. I still have shoes from 10 years ago! love that I had a normal upbringing because you get a certain kind of common sense and street sensibility. You appreciate things. I think it's really priceless."

Shoes are sacred but, BAD husbands are tossed like a cheap salad.
Jennifer Lopez for president!

Michael Jackson plans to exchange his King of Pop crown for a King Of Rap one.
"Soon you will see him surrounded by all kinds of beautiful women," says Jackson insider and author Michael Luckman. And Michael's reportedly rounding up Jay-Z, Missy Elliott and Mary J. Blige to perform on his hurricane relief song, "From the Bottom of My Heart."

Laugh all you want about him becoming a rap star, in his defence he was the first male to grab his crotch while he sang, he could in fact be a big rap star - he just has to stop grabbing everyone else's crotch.

Italian designer Valentino dissed Paris Hilton last week saying she was unattractive. This week he is trashing two other people - Julia Roberts and Cameron Diaz
He told a German magazine, "They look like bag ladies, like homeless people. In the past you never saw that. "In the past, actresses had to commit in their contracts to appear in public like stars when they left their homes. "Women had less to do and looked after their appearance. They changed their outfits two or three times a day or had a complicated hairstyle."

Number one - The look is called "casual" ok Valentino? Number two - women have never had "a lot less to do" in the entire history of mankind. Number three - go pick on Mary Kate and Ashley who really look like bag ladies with their purposely ripped nylons and oversized tent dresses. Number four - Real women don't buy clothes that are designed by men who wish they were women but, want to be women with no hips or breasts. Got it? Good.

Charlize Theron thinks her good looks are a crutch when it comes to the way other see her. She recently said at a press conference:
"I was born looking this way, I can't help what nature has handed me and I hate this
nonsense and this ideology that women who are pretty don't feel, don't have pain, or don't understand human conflict, because everything's just so dandy for them."

Granted Charlize is a pretty girl but, apparently she is conceited as well.

Mariah Carey is taking the term "DIVA" to a whole new level according to sources at a swanky hotel she recently stayed at. The sources said "She demanded blacked-out windows, the presidential suite, etc." Another source said that Mariah did not want any of the hotel workers making eye contact with her during her stay. Apparently she asked that the butlers and security staff to bow their heads when graced with her magnificence.

I don't think it was her being a diva, I think it was typical Mariah. You see she paid a lot for her breasts, she wants everyone to look at them.

Welsh songstress Charlotte Church may have her curves in all the right places, but she rates a certain Hollywood star top of the bods.
According to The Sun, Charlotte admires Halle Berry's bosoms.
"I think Halle Berry has the ideal figure. Her t*ts are bloody fantastic," she enthused. "I saw them in a movie the other week and they are the best."

No argument here.

Desperate Housewives actor Nicolette Sheridan spent Thursday at a house filming a television commercial for Australian lingerie brand Hestia. The commercial will feature the actor doing chores around the house in her lingerie, including trimming hedges and washing dishes.
Nicolette bragged, "I trimmed my bush looking at this fabulous pool boy who looked exactly like my fiance," she said, referring to a scene in the commercial. "Hopefully my fiance is going to come and join me here but in the meantime I have got a look-alike."

Trimmed her bush?

I found this picture of Nicolette when she was a youngin' with Leif Garrett who was a teen heart throb back in the day. They used to date!
Except for Nicolette's left breast (Not sure where the right one went) her and Leif could be the same person! They look alike.

Madonna has racked up 2,500 British pounds worth of fines after parking wherever she darn well pleases . According to the Daily Mail, Madonna seems to think nothing of picking up a £50 parking fine during each of her twice weekly gym visits.
The paper reports that Madonna gets her chauffeur to wait on a single yellow line while she undergoes "rack" sessions with her fitness trainer James D'Silva. And of course the dodgy parking gets her a ticket every time."

Rack sessions? I don't want to know.
Sounds like Madonna hasn't changed much from her young wild days. She still likes to go "parking" it seems.

Rumor has it that Gwyneth Paltrow is pregnant with her second child. Her daughter is named Apple. I shudder to think what type of produce her second child will be named after. For someone so obsessed with fruit you'd think she could stand to eat some!
Yikes, she looks like the living dead here!

Somebody's been caught speeding again!

Surprise, surprise it's Paris Hilton.

Your token eye candy picture....David Beckham goes for his daily jog.

Another fake Sean Preston photo circulating the net. Somebody went on photo shop and wrote in the name unless ofcourse nurses are now using crayon in the maternity ward to write names on incubators.

I know, a pretty tiring day when it comes to celebrity news but, it appears the celebs are tired also.....Gwen Stefani is tired of excercising.


Brazillian Supermodel Giselle is probably tired of being hit on.

Kristin Dunst is tired of getting bad movie scripts.

Ben Affleck is already losing sleep and his first baby is not even born yet. Bad sign.

Reese Witherspoon has two young children and every right to yawn.


Thursday, September 29, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's volume 55

Alec Baldwin is in yet another messy custody battle with his ex-wife Kim Basinger. Alex filed legal papers demanding more custody privileges after he reportedly turned up at Kim's home on the weekend and was denied access to his daughter Ireland. Sources tell US TV news show, he then called the police and accused Kim of violating an agreed custody order.
He states, "I believe the child lives in a constant state of tension, wherein she must never display or divulge her true feelings for her father because of the mother's all-consuming and bitter feelings toward me."

How Ironic the daughter's name is Ireland....a country that has been torn in two for centuries with the two religious sides fighting.
They should of named the girl Bermuda as in triangle...if they wanted each other to dissapear.

Courtney Love thinks she'll never be able to properly lay her late husband Kurt Cobain to rest because fans will turn his final resting place into a spectacle. She tells US rock magazine Spin, "No one will take Kurt's ashes because they don't want the crowds... I don't want Kurt's ashes in a bank vault somewhere. I want to be able to say, 'I've laid you out somewhere, and people can come. I was up in Seattle, Washington recently and drove by our old house on Lake Washington Boulevard. It's crazy. It looks like Pere-Lachaise (Paris cemetery resting place of Jim Morrison)... Syringes, bottles, tree carvings. That's what kids do."

Syringes and bottles? Weren't those left there from when Courtney and Kurt lived there? Probably. Courtney can't's all a haze.

Toni Braxton had visions of herself dying when she was struck down with a heart condition.
The singer was devastated when and afraid. She admits she immediately feared the condition would claim her life.
She says, "I instantly thought of the movie Beaches, and Barbara Hershey's character. I was like, 'Oh my God, I'm gonna die!' I was really upset about it. But with medication and my doctors and my family, I'm okay, I'm much better."

She sang "UNBREAK MY HEART" By the way. What a strange omen.

Paris Hilton is being dissed again. This time by screen veterens Shirley MacLaine, Shirley Temple and Catherine Deneuve. They believe the hotel heiress does not deserve her film roles.
Shirley MacLaine said, "Paris just shops and turns up to parties. So she wears pink and has blonde hair and suddenly calls herself not a starlet or an ingenue - no, according to Paris, she is a movie star. It irritates me. In my day, you had to really work."
Shirley Temple adds, "Paris is stealing the thunder from really talented actors who have learned their craft."
Meanwhile, French beauty Deneuve asks, "Who is she but a provocative young Barbie doll?"

All these women are right. Paris is completely talentless. It's her sister Nicky that got all the brains in the family. Nicky has a successful clothing line, handbag line and even looks nicer.

I hope Paris put deodorant on this morning....

Mariah Carey is said to have won $27,000 in a Las Vegas Casino on Friday after playing just three rounds of poker. She revealed. "I used to play poker with my sister. But I think my low-cut dress put some of the guys off."

She used to play poker with her sister? Don't know if you know but, her sister is a crack whore in the back streets somewhere. Seriously.
What was she player poker with gay guys too?

Country star Wynonna Judd has been saved from bankruptcy. She admits that whe was going completely broke when her manager sat her down and insisted she drastically cut her spending trends.
Wynonna admits cutting back on spending her cash was a very tough thing to do.
"I had no concept of what I spent on hair, make-up, shoes, wardrobe, tours. "One day I realised, 'No, if you want savings, you're gonna have to save it...,' so I had to really, drastically change my lifestyle."

It never really looked like she spent a heck of a lot in the makeup, hair department in the past.... I mean how could L'oreal "Flaming Orange Pumpkin Head" shade cost?

Courteney Cox is reportedly in talks to guest star on 'Desperate Housewives'. The star who was formerly on "Friends' is in negotiations to play a mental institute escapee in a future episode.

Just what Wysteria Lane needs....another nut job.

Lil' Kim has issued a statement from jail to her fans, insisting she's making the most of prison life. She has declared she's in good spirits a week into her sentence and she urges fans to show their support by buying her newly-released album The Naked Truth.
In the statement, Kim writes: "I want all my friends, family and fans to know that I am in good spirits and I will be fine. I am in general population at the jail and I have adjusted to the facility and to my fellow inmates, who are all cool people. "

In other words she is related to half and the other half she is sleeping with.

Keith Richards has thrilled co-star Orlando Bloom by finally agreeing to star as Johnny Depp's father in the Pirates Of The Caribbean sequels.
Bloom, who plays Will Turner in the movies, has let slip that the wrinkly rocker will cameo, despite claims the Stones tour would keep him from the set.
He says: "We're going to have an appearance by the great Keith Richards."

I am seriously having trouble getting the image of Keith Richards in a pirate suit out of my mind before bedtime...I don't need the nightmares.

Gwyneth Paltrow is blabbling to the press again. This time about her daughter Apple . She told the Mirror that her daughter has changed everything in her life.
"She's lovely and I feel so lucky to have her. It's a good time in my life. It's like I won the Lottery. I feel very blessed. " She also claims she has the ideal mother-in-law.
"You hear terrible stories about mothers-in-law but mine is so fantastic and loving."

ANYONE would come off as fantastic and loving next to an ice queen!

Sarah Michelle Gellar is set to get naked for her new role as a porn star. The actress is set to ditch her good girl image - and her clothes - in a new film that looks at the seedy world of X-rated movies. Rumour has it Sarah will play a busty blonde in the new film, Southland Tales.
Her character, Krysta Now, is an adult film star developing her own reality television project.
The plot is thought to revolve around a conspiracy.

Can't be a movie about porn...there's a plot! And who's playing the pizza guy?

Jessica Simpson has announced plans to launch yet another candy-flavoured beauty line.
The singer is naming the line after her 1999 album, Sweet Kisses, and will be the fourth of her kissable collections - following Dessert, Taste and Treats. Unlike the other lines, Sweet Kisses will only be available at discount chain Wal-Mart.
Simpson says, "Sweet Kisses is very personal to me, and I can't wait to share it."

Yes because she doesn't already make enough money from all her other useless efforts.

It's nearly a year since Tara Reid popped out of her dress at Diddy's 35th birthday party - and she's finally spoken out about fiasco. And she just can't believe how much exposure her exposure got.
"People act like it was the worst crime in the world. It was a mistake, you know!" Tara said in an interview for the November issue of FHM. But you would think my boob had popped out and shot Gandhi! My hooters are under control. I'm taped up now, totally. I'm using double tape. Double double tape. My boobs are going nowhere again."
Tara also tells FHM that Playboy have offered millions for her to do a nude spread.

Playboy should just buy her a bottle of vodka. That would be a lot cheaper. She'll be naked and sprawled out in no time.


There really is life after Brad! If that means chain smoking outside a Hollywood restaurant with "Friends".

Reese Witherspoon gets a manicure/pedicure combo.

David Beckham was with his son. Isn't he adorable? And the baby's not so bad either - LOVELY shaped head.

Victoria, David's other half picking up their eldest from school. FINALLY MAKING HERSELF USEFUL!
Her kid weighs more than she does.

Glowing mother to be Jennifer Garner and her hubby Ben Affleck went shopping for baby stuff. Jennifer accidently let it slip she is expecting a girl.
I told you that WAY back on wtf volume thirty something...

I know they are blurry, but, their NEWS breaking W.T.F photos! Here is Britney, Baby Sean Preston and father of our nation Kevin. Just who had the baby anyhow? Check out his gut!

His pants are halfway down his butt and he's got a samurai ponytail going on.

Either they got in a fight and Kevin drove off in a huff to the latest Honky Tonk bar or Britney's just having a craving for cheezies and her man's gettin her a fix.

No, this is not me kissing my baby Chelsea goodbye. First of all Chelsea is not white and secondly, although I too would look fabulous in that dress, I would never let my baby ride in a convertible like that. Not safe.

Actually, this is Eva Longoria and her dog. Not sure who the animal is.


Wednesday, September 28, 2005

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 54

Director Guy Ritchie has a modest fortune compared to his wife Madonna but, they still split all the household bills equally.
Ritchie says, "We split all the bills 50-50. So what? That's perfectly normal, isn't it?"

Yes, it's normal if you're NOT married to a multi-millionaire!

While I don't think the same goes in this household.....Donald Trump's wife Melania Knauss is pregnant. "The baby is due in the spring," said a spokesperson for the Trumps adding that the child's gender is not yet known. It would be the first child for Melania. She is The Donald's third wife. He has four other children from his previous marriages.

Well, now she's REALLY ensured she is going to be taken care of nicely...with or without The Donald. Hope the baby get's Melania's hair genes. I bet the baby does too.

Heidi Klum has nearly regained her figure just six days after giving birth to baby son Henry the supermodel recently appeared at the Emmy Awards last Sunday, less than a week after giving birth to her child with husband Seal, and she looked fit and fabulous. She says she owes it all to her personal trainer who flew to Los Angeles straight afterHeidi gave birth and launched her straight into a regime that produced rapid results. Apparently she worked out for hours a day and also followed a strict diet of no dairy, lots of greens, grains, egg whites and protein shakes.
Heidi wants to be in the November Victoria Secret fashion show so she is gearing up her body.

Who the heck has a baby in September and is modelling barely there underwear to the entire planet less than two months later? Mind you if you knew that the whole world was seeing you naked on a runway with cameras zooming on the back of your ass I guess you would gorge on lettuce leaves and water too.
Now, that's some dieting incentive!

Demi Moore's ex-husband, Bruce Willis, has no problems with Ashton Kutcher. It's Kabbalah he's not too thrilled about. Bruce Willis only ever asked one thing of his ex-wife: keep our kids away from your religion. Demi Moore reportedly married Ashton Kutcher in a Kabbalah Ceremony, but not at the Kabbalah Centre, according to a source, who explains that Willis "strictly forbids" his children with Moore from being exposed to the offshoot of Judaism, which some critics have called a cult.
"Bruce's feelings are that Demi and Ashton can do whatever they want with their personal and religious lives," says the insider, "but he puts down his foot when it comes to his daughters and does not want them visiting the Kabbalah Centre."

So, let me get this straight. It's ok that their new papa is TEN years older than your oldest daughter but, you don' t want the girls open to finding a faith that works for them.
I guess sometimes Father knows best.
Actually, I LOVE Ashton and Demi as a couple.

Pamela Anderson has filed for a restraining order against superfan William Stansfield. Pam says that Stansfield has been following her all over Malibu, California, where she lives with her young sons. In court papers, obtained by US news show Extra, Pamela alleges Stansfield has harassed her brother, her assistant and most recently showed up at her children's school.
According to one of the documents Pamela told police "He began talking to me, explaining that he wanted me to stop working on Stacked (new TV sitcom) and work on a movie with a script that he had written for me."
Stansfield has allegedly been camping in a tent in Malibu, not far from Anderson's home.

I do not condone stalking - let's get that straight but, when you are seen dating some of the ugliest men around, some OTHER strange men may think they actually stand a chance.
Still, not right. This idiot needs to find someone who may enjoy being stalked like Mariah Carey for example.

Ozzy Osbourne quit cheating on his wife Sharon Osbourne when a faulty Aids test came back positive. During his years of drug and alcohol abuse, Ozzy cheated on his manager spouse with a slew of women, until in 1986, Sharon put her foot down and insisted he undergo testing for the sexually-transmitted disease.
Sharon says, "(He admitted sleeping with) some old tart he picked up at a bar. I wanted to give him a shock. And it certainly did that. Ozzy was terrified of Aids. The test required a blood sample and the doctor said we would get the result back in a week. We went to get the result together. Positive - so I knew I would have to be tested too. Ozzy was mortified. I said to the doctor, 'Take some blood from me, then take three more vials from Ozzy and send them to three different labs and with three different names on. I knew from my gay friends that in those days the test was so unsophisticated and delicate that it only had to be shaken and you could get the wrong result. All the results came back negative. That was the last time he was unfaithful, ever."

Yikes, that's one way to get your husband to stop dipping his hands in the honey pot so to speak. Sharon was generous about it, most women I know would of pulled a "BOBBITT".
Again....not helping the "Ugly guys stalking women" cause if Ozzy Osbourne could find so many women to sleep with him without paying for it.

Keira Knightley loves being naked in movies and thanks her British upbringing for her liberated attitude. The actress stripped off to shoot steamy sex scenes in the new movie, "Domino," with hunky co-star Edgar Ramirez.
She says, "I'm British, so the whole sex scene, and being topless is fine.
"In fact, to be able to do that in the middle of the desert was actually quite liberating. And to do it with a beautiful Venezuelan well, let's just say I'm a lucky girl!"

Sure sounds liberating- in the middle of the desert - sounds uncomfortable too. Hot, humid, no water for miles, sand blowing into your teeth and camels wandering around....gee sounds so romantic.

The Washington Post reports Virginia Democrats have revealed plans to run Ben Affleck against Republican Senator George Allen in next year's election.
Ben and his pregnant wife, Jennifer Garner, are said to have shopped for a house around Charlottesville, Va., but still appear far from making a move anytime soon. Once Affleck's name was mentioned by state Democrats, it proved extremely popular. Affleck's representative Ken Sunshine says there's no reason to think Affleck would run, but adds, "He would make a superb public candidate for public office in the future."

Anyone and I mean ANYONE is an improvement to whomever is doing this job right now. And I don't even know the guy and know I am right. Ben certainly would be easier on the eyes - especially if he worked his way up to President. If one of my favorite shows is going to be interupted by a stupid politic conference than I'd rather it be Ben than the alternative.

Former Playboy playmate Jenny McCarthy is still mortified she wore a see-through dress to last month's World Music Awards in Los Angeles.
She says, "It was a dress I had for like 12 years in my closet. I put it on, the flashbulbs are going off and people are going, 'Psst, do you know it's see-through?' What are you gonna do?"

Ok, here is the dress she wore.
Maybe she should get her eyes checked. How does one not know this dress is see-through.
If something that fit your sat in your closet for 12 years wouldn't that be a trigger that maybe there was a reason for that before you put it on???

Alyssa Milano admitted to OK! magazine that she suffered from depression and began seeing a therapist four times a week for six months in order to sort out her feelings. Alyssa confessed she felt disconnected from the rest of the world. She says she had "All those classic signs of depression like not wanting to get out of bed."

So! That's what's wrong with me....I'm depressed!

Ellen DeGeneres gave her girlfriend of one year, Portia de Rossi, a horse as a gift for their first anniversary. Portia says, "We bought a ranch with 120 acres and Ellen bought me a horse, Jones, who's a beautiful, big, gray gelding. Eventually I just want to rescue animals and live on that farm."

Last month Madonna's hubby bought her a horse as a birhday present and she fell off, broke her collarbone and three other bones. Now Ellen does this.
Coincidence? I think not.

Lindsay Lohan Meets and Leaves with her ex- boyfriend Wilmer Valderrama at Club X. She is just giddy as can be!

More pics Christina Aguilera at Her Bachelorette Party in Cabo San Lucas
(You're welcome Andrew)

Rumored to be dating - Scarlett Johansson and Josh Harnett Arrive at LAX (Los Angelos

Jennifer Aniston looking very thin and carrying a stick. (Or is she walking on the beach with Nicole Ritchie? hee hee)

No, it's her doggie.