Celebrity W.T.F's volume 23
Tom Cruise wants Oprah. No, not in that way. He wants to apparently convince her to become a Scientologist. Cruise figures Oprah is the biggest influence on Americans since she is in millions of their living rooms on a daily basis. Scientology already counts among its celebrity followers John Travolta, his wife actress wife Kelly Preston, former Cheers star Kirstie Alley, Lisa Marie Presley, and Nancy Cartwright -the voice of cartoon character Bart Simpson.
I love Oprah but, the minute she starts jumping up and down on her couch I will stop watching. I don't care how many chryslars she is giving away that day!
Tara Reid has announced that once she finds the right man, she will marry, have lots of children and quit Hollywood. She says, "I want a bunch of kids! At least three. I love the very idea of love,marriage and kids. "I look at my parents and they've done a really good job themselves".
Obviously Tara would think her parents have done a good job! Proof that when you are drunk ninety percent of the time, your judgement is somewhat cloudy!
Here is Tara arriving at a party still somewhat coherant and somewhat clothed. In fact I almost did not recognize her.
No sooner than Tara announces she wants to settle down, Her best friend Paris Hilton has found a new party partner! Fifteen Year Old Hayden Panettiere . Hayden was the little girl in "Raising Helen" And also starred in "Remember the Titans". Apparently Paris has decided to take the young aspiring actress under her wing and teach her about life in Hollywood. Perhaps grooming her to be the next Paris sidekick?
Such valuable lessons as -
How to make fun of other people so you feel better about yourself.
How to blow your first Hollywood paycheque on things you will never use or need.
How to wear makeup like the Hollywood hookers do....only better cuz you got more cash.
How to buy a little dog and then carry it around all the time so that it gains weight and you don't want it anymore cuz it's gotten too big.
How to pole dance in front of hundreds of drunk on lookers.
Once pole dancing is mastered......add a cigarette. Hey, who cares that Hayden is only FIFTEEN! W.T.F is she doing in a bar anyhow???
Paris's younger sister Nicky Hilton has died her hair back to BLONDE from having it dark brown for a long time.
I MUCH MUCH prefer Nicky with the darker hair. I suppose she figures the blonde hair will get her more press?? What she should know is it's the BLONDE BEHAVIOR that actually gets the more press!
Coldplay lead singer Chris Martin hates the fact he was 22-years-old before he lost his virginity and blames his teachers and parents for not teaching him about sex sooner.
He thinks he is bitter......how does he think poor wife Gwyneth Paltrow feels? And further more W.T.F would you tell this information to the media?
Ben Affleck has cut down considerably on gambling. He married Jennifer Garner in June.The new and improved BENNIFER are expecting a baby in the winter.
Jennifer Lopez on the other hand could not stop Ben from gambling when she was with him....he got lucky when he rolled the dice with his new love!
Scarlett Johanson was driving through the WALT DISNEY theme park entrance with two pals, when she swerved to get away from pursuing photographers and hit another vehicle containing a woman and her two young daughters. Nobody was hurt - except maybe for Scarlett who had on a top at the time......Scarlett apparently is DESPERATE to appear topless in a movie.... she probably was undoing her blouse so the papparazi could get a shot of her bosoms....thus, the collision.
CUZ I SAID SO!