Celebrity stories and gossip that make you go "W.T.F?"

Tuesday, June 06, 2006

blogger update

I have not been able to post for days now....please go to my new location for my WTF'S. It lacks colour and style but, I'm on it. I have decided blogger SUCKS.

Chelsea's blog will remain on blogger as I only ever load one or two pictures a day and that seems to work.

Monday, June 05, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 222

The "sexiest man alive"(According to People Magazine...not me) is available again. Matthew McConaughey and Penelope Cruz have decided to split. Cruz's publicist told The Associated Press on Friday. The couple broke up four weeks ago due to busy work schedules, People Magazine reports.

So the handsome chiseled six pack ab man is available in case any of you are interested. That's if you're into that sort of thing.

Mariah Carey says her ex-husband is still hung up on her. She was once married to Tommy Motola who is the head of Sony. She told the Insider, "I don't know if I ever want to get married again. My last experience was so oppressive. You know, Tommy called the head of my record label on the day my last album came out to find out what it sold. He still can't leave it alone. Why can't he focus on his new wife?"

I dunno Mariah. Why can't you get over yourself? Mariah will never find happiness because she will never find a man who could possibly love her more than she loves herself.

Paris Hilton is still blaming Nicole Richie for the fight they had ages ago. Paris says they are complete opposites of each other. She explained, "I'm the nice one, she's the evil one. Some people change when they think they're a star or something and some people stay the same. I've always been the same and she's definitely not."

Paris is nice? Since when? She is right about always being the same. Irritating, conceited, stupid, materialistic, talentless, sleazy, immature, useless......need I go on? I can, believe me...but, we need to move on to the next story.

Julia Roberts is going to be the new face of Avon Cosmetics. She signed a five million dollar contract and will be representing the company and their vast collection of Health and Beauty products.

They were wise to choose her for their print ads. Imagine if she sold Avon door to door? Nobody would answer the door! All they would see in the peephole is gigantic teeth!

Jordan has bought a new bright pink, diamond-encrusted car. She told OK! Magazine, "I'm going to have crystals stuck around the mirror and the gear stick. I know it's cheesy but I have put some sparkly dice in it. When I was little I remember Barbie had a pink Beetle so I wanted one the same. When I drive it, everyone just stares."

Um, I don't think they are looking at the car.

Kevin Federline is going to be a good dad. According to him anyhow. He recently told Item magazine: "My kids are going to have to learn what a real job is, what life is. You don't have it easy with me. Period. My kids are going to work at Taco Bell, dammit."
He also complained about being married to a celebrity. He said, "I wish people would ask me about my career. Usually its, 'How's the wife and kids?' The day they judge me as an artist, not Britney Spears' husband, that's the day I am looking forward to."

Keep dreaming. You have to actually have a career to be asked about it and secondly, if Britney has her way he won't be her husband for much longer. Loser.

Janet Jackson has revealed she shed nearly 60lbs because her rings would no longer fit on her bulging fingers. Janet who gained weight last year to star in a film that never happened, told the Daily Mirror newspaper, "Some rings wouldn't fit my fingers and watches wouldn't fit my wrist, so I stopped wearing jewellery."

I bet her nipple clamp from the Superbowl drama still fit!

Jessica Alba is desperate to go topless this summer. She is eager to sun her breasts while holidaying on the beaches of Europe, but is paranoid the paparazzi will catch her out.
She said: "I would do if it were just me and my guy, but the paparazzi seem to pop up everywhere. I think I'll be wearing a bikini. Bikinis are more flattering on my body."

She's right.
Even I want a piece of that.

Can the Charlie Sheen, Denise Richards divorce battle get any uglier? Now a published report claims that Charlie is planning on demand a paternity test to determine the father of his youngest daughter. Apparently, Charlie suspects that Denise's lover Richie Sambora could be the father of 11-month old Lola.

Let's look at this shall we? Here is Denise and Charlie before they split up with their eldest daughter Sam. (Charlie is not questioning his paternity with this one) Notice that Sam looks exactly like her father. Unfortunately for Sam....the only trait she picked up from mom is her blonde locks. There is no doubt this kid is Charlie's!

Now, here is Denise pictured with Lola. The genetic Gods were much kinder to baby Lola. That is the REAL reason Charlie doesn't think this kid is his.
Maybe this one takes after mom!!!

Vince and Jen promoting "THE BREAKUP" which is getting horrible reviews. Anyone seen it?

Brad and Angelina featured in STAR Magazine. Apparently one day before she had her baby!

Seal, Heidi Klum and their daughter Leni stop for a family meeting.

Paris is right. Nicole is the evil one! Just look at her at the airport stopping to take photographs with the airport staff. What a bee-atch!!!

Time for some manly men. Here's Justin Timberlake with a fresh buzz cut.

New daddy Brad out and about.

David Beckham is positively adorable. He's shopping.

Clive Owens looks dangerous and dirty. Like a sexy homeless man.

Chloe Sevigny (one of the wives from BIG LOVE) parties with some wiseguys from SOPRANOS. Both shows air on HBO.

Victoria Beckham should see a doctor. It seems she has two oranges stuck in her upper skin.
Although, I suspect she got them from a doctor in the first place.

Lindsay Lohan kisses designer Karl Lagerfield at a fashion show.

At the same event Karl proves he will canoodle with just about anybody!

Janet Jackson looking buff.

Jennifer Aniston leaves her hotel while promoting her flop of a movie THE BREAK UP.

Introducing....Nick Lachey's new girlfriend. Her name is Kim Kardashian. She is a stylist in Hollywood. She also has been hanging out with Paris Hilton lately. Which is odd cuz Paris usually doesn't like hanging around anyone who is prettier than she is. (Pretty much everyone except Kimberly Stewart, Nicole Richie and Lindsay Lohan)

And Nick's ex wife....Jessica out and about with a friend. Man, those jeans are tight. My crotch hurts just looking at them.

Eva Longoria and her man in black, Tony Parker.

Orlando Bloom and girlfriend Kate Bosworth enjoy a romantic dinner for two that's not so private.

Mariah Carey runs into the MTV studio to make an appearance. She even touches her hair when she is running. She is always touching her hair. Is her hand glued to her head or what?

It's amazing what a new nose, hair extensions and new lips do for Ashlee Simpson. Now she is Jessica Simpson.

Here is a shot of Ashlee's new video. She plays a boxer. I hope that other chick doesn't hit her on her new nose!

Britney and an unidentified pal cruise down the highway. I wonder how long it will take Britney to notice Sean Preston flew out the back seat 16 miles back??


Thursday, June 01, 2006

Celebrity W.T.F's Volume 221

Blogger was down for a day or so but, I am back with lots of updates and photos. Enjoy!

Brad Pitt cut the umbilical cord of his new daughter when she was born. He was in the delivery room when his daughter, Shiloh Nouvel, was born via Caesarean section. The couple's obstetrician who travelled to the African country from the US to be at the birth, revealed the story to the press. He said: "The baby was a healthy 7lb. Brad was with Angelina the entire time and cut the umbilical cord. The surgery and birth went flawlessly."

Apparently Brad was so overwhelmed with emotion he cried more than the baby did when she was born. I am sure the baby stopped crying as soon as she saw who her parents were.

Meanwhile it was reported Jennifer Aniston felt "nauseous" when she got a phone call telling her Brangelina's baby had been born. But Aniston later told friends she was relieved that the "sick triangle" was finally over and she could move on with her life.

She had plenty of chances to have Brad's baby and chose to have Ross's instead. Ya snooze.....ya lose.

Even more Aniston news...Jennifer Aniston was sitting at a press conference to promote her new comedy, The Break-Up, when a reporter asked if she was interested in using her celebrity to tackle any of the world's important issues. "No," she replied. "I'm not interested in any of that. I like to just focus on me and my tabloid career."

Even though she was joking what a stupid thing to say. The only person who hates Jennifer being in the tabloids more than her is me. Because it means I have to put her on my blog. Ugh.

Paris Hilton has got a bit of a crush on someone. Rod Stewart's daughter Kimberly, who happens to be Paris's new best friend. Paris gushed about her on to Top Of The Pops Magazine, "Kimberly is hysterical. She's six feet tall, blonde, beautiful and has luscious blue eyes, she's hot. I feel so comfortable with her and I can just act like myself."

She can be herself? You mean that phony, materialistic fisad she puts on is not really her personality?? Yeah, ok. .....Paris thinks Kimberly is hot because she looks like a white trash version of Paris. Yuck.

Elizabeth Taylor has denied claims she has Alzheimer's disease. During a TV interview, she asked CNN talk show host Larry King: "Do I look like I'm dying? Do I look like or sound like I have Alzheimer's? I think they're trying to sell magazines. Some audiences out there... they like scandal."She angrily added: "They like filth. And if they want to hear that I'm dead, sorry folks. I'm not. And I don't plan on it."

Maybe she does have Alzheimers but, she forgot?

Kevin Federline spent $300,000 for a wristwatch without telling his wife first, according to Us Weekly. Perhaps it's no co-incidence that that's the exact amount the aspiring singer reportedly was paid to record an album and tour in Japan. A source told the Magazine, “All he does is work on his music and try to find ways to get out. That is all he cares about. It has taken a big toll on their marriage because he's not always there for her and he used to be.”

Britney, honey, listen to me. You vowed you would stay until death do you part. You're gonna have to kill the loser.

American Idol's Simon Colwell has dissed Prince after he made a surprise performance at the show's finale last week. After Prince sang he apparently dashed off refusing to meet the Idol contestants or greet the audience. Simon says, "It just tells you how selfish he is. He comes on, not a word - 'I'm not gonna sing with anybody else, I'm not gonna say goodbye.' Thank you for your generosity, Prince."

Simon! Leave Prince alone!!!!!! He is a musical genius and a legend. He asks nothing from us. There ain't no particular sign he's more compatible with, he just wants our extra time and our........kiss.

Heather Mills is said to be considering a Princess Diana-style television appearance. Heather has already been accused of modelling herself on Diana, as the wronged partner whose marriage was overshadowed by her husband's public profile. Like Diana, she has thrown herself into charitable work and travelling around the world to highlight the plight of slaughtered seal pups.

Unlike Diana, Heather married for money. Oh, and Diana was a virgin when she got married.

Movie mogul Harvey Weinstein believes that Lindsay Lohan, who has roles in both A Prairie at LinHome Companion and the upcoming Robert Kennedy saga Bobby, will win an academy award. Weinstein, whose company is distributing Bobby, tells MTV, "She's fantastic, and a big reason for getting me involved. This is going to be a stand-out performance this year for Lindsay, absolutely."

Harvey apparently is on some really good drugs also.

Anna Nicole Smith has confirmed that she's pregnant, in a video clip posted on her Web site. "Let me stop all the rumors. Yes, I am pregnant. I'm happy, I'm very very happy about it. Everything's goin' really, really good and I'll be checking in and out periodically on the Web and I'll let you see me as I'm growing."

Nicole must be thrilled. Now that she's pregnant she can flush her bottles of TRIMSPA down the toilet where they can join her career. And the fact that she's pregnant means she finally got laid! Unless of course the father is Tom Cruise.

Kevin Federline clean shaven and with a haircut featured in a Magazine spread. He looks like a creepy salesman. I think I prefer his wanna be rapper look.

Mischa Barton in Toronto with her new puppy. She's only had it for a few weeks and already the poor little thing has a cast on! When are these celebrities gonna learn that when you are carrying two STARBUCKS and your precious baby - you shouldn't try and answer your cell phone!
Actually, I don't know what really happened to her pup but, you never know...

Mariah Carey and her Jack Russell named Jack. Dogwalker or streetwalker? You decide.

Kirstie Ally squirts water at the paparrazzi.

Jessica Alba getting wiggy with it.

Oh God. Sienna and Jude are back together. This week anyhow.

Nicole Richie's frail profile.

Britney has a new nanny. I mean manny. Baby Sean looks like he is giving his mama a swat!

That masked biker is Carson Daly.

Halle Berry shopping in the beauty section. Last place she needs to be.

Eva Longoria looks stunning in this dress. It's amazing what a little breast tape can do!

Victoria Beckham is so hungry she is about to eat her own hand.

Denise Richards and her youngest daughter Lola go shopping.

Meanwhile her estranged hubby Charlie spends time with older daughter Sam.

Teri Hatcher and her daughter Emerson enjoy time together.

My, Ashlee Simpson, what big lips you have!

Pink performs on MTV

Jessica and baby Daisy on the road.

Nick out on the town.

Who's the bootylicious gal that has everyone on the net commenting on her bodacious cheeks? (In a good way)

It's Nelly Furtado. Portuguese women are just born with great bums. And I am not just saying that because I am portuguese woman and have a great bum.

BLAST FROM THE PAST.....It's Appolonia from Purple Rain!